Wednesday, August 27, 2014

DEATH CULT.

Some of you may remember my column last Spring about what I characterized as the new conservative position on climate change: roughly, "Hey, everybody dies (literally)". In other words, even if you stupid libtards are right, environmentalism is futile and we should just all prepare for an earlier-than-expected deliverance unto the loving arms of Jesus.

Mind you, my analysis was largely based on extrapolation of the texts. But it turns out RedState kingpin Erick Erickson is willing to say so out loud:
I Simply Do Not Care About Global Warming
We’re all going to die or something according to the latest hysteria from the United Nations now that government bureaucrats have sufficiently added hype and hyperbole to the IPCC report on global warming a/k/a climate change.
Folks, I do not care. Let me assure you that the world is not going to end and we are not going to cause ourselves to go extinct. This report is written by a bunch of people who believe in the evolution of humanity, but somehow think mankind is unable to adapt to changing circumstances. 
The simple fact is that, if they are right and the world is warming, there is nothing we can do short of economic Armageddon to stop it. We’ve already told most of the third world they have to hide under nets or die of malaria because we do not want them using DDT. We should not now tell them they have to turn off their electricity and never improve their existence because of global warming.
The DDT thing is total bullshit, by the way --  scientific management of a dangerous chemical is not politically-correct reckless endangerment, it's the opposite of it. But does Erick Erickson care about your so-called "science"? Erickson then gets to his secondary argument, which is eat it you stupid libtards:
This is all orchestrated left-wing crap that a bunch of private jet setters and twitter liberals can worry themselves over. I have never once met a person who treats global warming as the most significant issue of our time and is a well adjusted, happy person. From Al Gore to the nuts on Twitter who’ll fill up my timeline in outrage over this, they are maladjusted, angry people in need of prayer to a realer God than Gaia. 
Epistemic closure? We didn't know the half of it. Expect a series of these "who gives a shit" items, and not only from Erickson, on banking regulations, race relations, foreign policy, etc. As my archive shows, all these guys have left now is resentment, racism, and rifle worship; it's about time they abandoned argument altogether. At least it'll be an improvement over that "conservative reform" bullshit, in that they'll no longer be pretending.

171 comments:

  1. tigrismus10:18 AM

    If we're all going to die anyway, why are they so het up about terrorism?

    Also, "This report is written by a bunch of people who believe in the evolution
    of humanity"

    Over a REALLY long span of time

    "but somehow think mankind is unable to adapt to changing
    circumstances"

    that may be unpredictably catastrophic over a very short one. Of course, lots of people are bullish about human ability to develop technical solutions(and frankly I don't know ANYONE who believes this will lead to total extinction, even the most pessimistic I've seen think millions and millions will die rather than everyone, but I guess he doesn't give a shit about that, either), but "be more intelligent" doesn't negate the imperative to "be less stupid."

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  2. Fat and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

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  3. Iduntker! is the new battle cry of the Red State Trike Farce.

    I have never once met a person who treats global warming as the most
    significant issue of our time and is a well adjusted, happy person.

    Given the wingers' tendency to interpret amusement as anger and pointing and laughing as a melt down, I suspect Erikson thinks lots of people he meets are not well adjusted or happy.

    Besides, they don't laugh at his joke about the two gay guys and the turtle. Sourpusses!

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  4. "I believe in limited government and low taxes. Therefore, there is no global waming. Q.E.D."
    ~

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  5. We've known the trajectory for years, folks: http://www.theguardian.com/environment/climate-consensus-97-per-cent/2013/sep/16/climate-change-contrarians-5-stages-denial

    The twist is Erickson has decided to leapfrog Stage 5 altogether and is immersed in Stage 6: Yes we're probably doomed, yes it's too late but maybe if those fucking liberals hadn't nagged us so much, and maybe BURP.

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  6. Or birth control or equal marriage or guns or music lyrics or church or who is in the White House or what some dumbfuck named Erik the Red-Faced Yahoo has to say about anything? We're all gonna die!

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  7. I’ve written many posts and articles making the point that the political right, in most English speaking countries1 has been taken over by a tribalist post-truth politics in which all propositions, including the conclusions of scientific research, are assessed in terms of their consistency or otherwise with tribal prejudices and shibboleths.

    by John Quiggin on April 21, 2014

    http://crookedtimber.org/2014/04/21/tu-quoque/
    ~

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  8. Susan of Texas10:37 AM

    I Simply Do Not Care About The Last Trees

    We’re all going to die or something according to the latest hysteria from the nature nuts now that Rapa Nui leaders have sufficiently added hype and hyperbole to the report on deforestation.

    Folks, I do not care. Let me assure you that the world is not going to end and we are not going to cause ourselves to go extinct. This report is written by a bunch of people who believe in humanity, but somehow think mankind is unable to adapt to changing circumstances.

    The simple fact is that, if they are right and the wood is gone, there is nothing we can do short of abandoning the country to stop it. We’ve already told most of the villagers they have to shiver at night and eat cold food because they can't afford fuel. We should not now tell them they have to abandon all their land and possessions and never improve their existence because of a fuel shortage.

    This is all orchestrated left-wing crap that a bunch of private moai owners and gossip liberals can worry themselves over. I have never once met a person who believes all the trees are almost gone and is a well adjusted, happy person. From the nature nuts to the gossip nuts who’ll fill up my time in outrage over this, they are maladjusted, angry people in need of prayer to the gods.

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  9. coozledad10:39 AM

    From Al Gore to the nuts on Twitter who’ll fill up my timeline in outrage over this, they are maladjusted, angry people in need of prayer to a realer God than Gaia.



    Moloch?

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  10. tigrismus10:40 AM

    Mammon.

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  11. petesh10:41 AM

    Well, unless we render him (quantity probably acceptable, but quality? Meh), I reckon it's time for the boat and the flaming arrows:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LClTjcyNJSI

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  12. "they are maladjusted, angry people"

    It's always projection with the wingnutzi, example one zillion.
    ~

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  13. tigrismus10:43 AM

    It is pretty rich that while climate change is no big deal and we need to quit overreacting, any action to curb it would lead to ECONOMIC ARMAGEDDON.

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  14. Cato the Censor10:43 AM

    Erick Erickson should be enslaved and forced to work in a Spanish lead mine until he dies.

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  15. mgmonklewis10:45 AM

    The Invisible Hand of the market is an exquisitely delicate thing.

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  16. dstatton10:55 AM

    "I don't give a shit" is the underlying psychology of modern conservatism. Saying it out loud is unusual, but it can't last; it exposes their psychopathy. They will eventually have to pretend to care, and get back to "liberals are the real racists & don't care about black on black crime, Tax cuts and limited government create good paying jobs, etc."

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  17. mortimer200010:55 AM

    Erickson's concern for people in developing countries is precious:
    We’ve already told most of the third world they have to hide under nets or die of malaria because we do not want them using DDT. We should not now tell them they have to turn off their electricity and never improve their existence because of global warming.

    Yes, those poor, poor people. But for some odd reason, Erickson neglects to that the U.S., with less than 5% of the world's population, consumes more than 25% of the worlds energy resources -- our per capita energy consumption is double that of even industrialized Europe. Or that the U.S. has vastly more cars than licensed drivers and our most popular vehicles are gas guzzlers and SUVs. Or that the average new house in the U.S. keeps getting bigger and bigger, requiring more and more energy.

    Whose sacrifice does Erickson want to attenuate? I mean, it wouldn't be his own life style he's worried about, is it?

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  18. dstatton11:00 AM

    The last tree had to go in order to build another giant statue to the glory of some imaginary being. I envision a chubby red-head overseeing the process.

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  19. mortimer200011:15 AM

    Not to mention that if he thinks nothing short of "economic Armageddon" will stop it, he hasn't a clue about the slow-motion economic apocalypse ignoring it will precipitate.

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  20. BigHank5311:38 AM

    Not to be a jerkoff pedant here, but the improvement in building codes means that the modern 3500 square foot exurban palace uses a lot less energy than that little 1200 square foot suburban box from the fifties. I have seen two houses that started off as identical units. One got ~$20k of windows, insulation, and a modern furnace. It had $60/month heating bills while the one next door was over $300. Of course to save that money you have to have the $20k to sink into the house.

    Of course updating the existing housing stock would be a huge giveaway to the poors, so it's never going to happen at anything larger than a municipal level. Also, there isn't a single energy supply company that really wants their customer base to use less of what they sell.

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  21. Well, the market doesn't evolve. What, you think that the economy can shift based on technological, anthropological or ecological pressures? Pffft.

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  22. Adrian11:44 AM

    Mosquitos develop a resistance very quickly to any pesticide and they have to be swapped out frequently. DDT would be effective against mosquitos for a short time and harmful to humans for a much, much longer period.

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  23. He sort of pretends to care about people in Third World Nations who have no way to treat mosquitoes except with DDT and insecticide resistance is not a thing.



    But the problem with the Who Cares We're All Gonna Die approach to living waiting for Thanatos, is there's no reason to give a shit if a few doomed SOBs are carried off by malaria. Not that EE and the people who pay attention to him for reasons not related to humor do in the first place.

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  24. BigHank5311:46 AM

    How is the buggy-whip factory doing these days, Mr. Johnston?

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  25. Someone once pointed out that for all the conservative obsession over sin and vice - you know, those liberals with their jazz cigarettes and their big gay orgies - it's odd that they have such a problem with conservation. Isn't consuming far more than your fair share a form of hedonism? Wasting resources so you can gorge yourself on cheap beef and out-of-season fruit, own an unnecessarily large home with a perfectly green lawn, drive a car anywhere over two blocks, toss out all your gadgets every ten months because they're not "new" any more - aren't those all examples of excess?


    No, of course not. Next question, don't want to think about this.

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  26. The amazing part about all of this "sustainability will drive us into a new dark age" talk is that it ignores what ecologists are actually doing. Most proposed methods are small things (improved insulation, more efficient vehicles) that people either wouldn't notice at all or would appreciate due to reduced costs. As much as pricks like Erickson want to believe that all environmentalists are deep greens who want people to live in caves, it just ain't so. Of course, these are the same people who threw a screaming fit over the prospect of more accurate electrical meters and Erickson himself once threatened someone over the hot button issue of eco-friendly laundry detergent, so maybe I'm wasting my breath.


    Anti-environmentalists are really wedded to this concept of environmentalists as backward thinkers. It's funny, because a large part of the genuine technological innovation over the last few years - mostly transportation and energy but also materials science, agriculture, even architecture - has been driven by ecological considerations. Guys like Erickson have to ignore this, as it guts their whole "hippies are destroying the economy" argument if those hippies build something that sells. This is also why they have to treat electric cars as a boondoggle and solar power as some sort of hoax.

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  27. Ellis_Weiner12:02 PM

    Slowing or halting global warming IS "adapting to changing circumstances." Is this Erik's new angle? "Troll 'em With Petulance"?

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  28. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps12:37 PM

    In general, efficiency has a higher initial cost, but cuts the overall capital cost thanks to lower operating costs. This is anathema to the GOP's infrastructure funding plan, which is "spend as little possible money now as possible and be willfully blind to ballooning operating costs later".

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  29. BigHank5312:45 PM

    Honestly, what really gets me is that Erickson seems to be doing this column for free. You know that Cato and AEI are waiting for the Koch checks to clear before hitting the "publish" button. When water starts running into the first Koch-owned refinery you'll be able to bet hard money on their sudden support for collective action: "national security" and "economic stability" and "keeping the economy growing in these troubled times" will all be reasons we need to bail the Kochs out right this very instant.

    Does Mr. Erickson think that mindless hard-right jingoism is suddenly going to return to popularity and CNN will re-hire him? Right now he just looks like another pudgy loser hoping that if he kicks the nerds hard enough the jocks will let him sit at their table in the cafeteria again.

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  30. M. Krebs12:50 PM

    This report is written by a bunch of people who believe in the evolution of humanity, but somehow think mankind is unable to adapt to changing circumstances.

    I think I know how this is supposed to work. Our ears will grow into huge copper heat sinks in order to keep us cool, and we'll grow humps on our backs to store water like camels. All over the span of a hundred years or so. No problem.

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  31. ColBatGuano12:52 PM

    It's hard to keep the fist clenched while simultaneously keeping the pinkie extended.

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  32. tigrismus1:01 PM

    If it's hairy enough to see the fur even though it's invisible...

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  33. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume1:01 PM

    "I don't give a shit" is the underlying psychology of modern conservatism.


    It's simply the next phase in a well-worn pattern.


    "Global warming is a liberal lie".


    "Okay, it might exist, but it's not that bad".


    "Fine, it exists and it's bad. But I don't care".


    They make petulant 7-year-olds look like Solomon.

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  34. Matt Jones1:06 PM

    I'd like to see the denialists put up something of equal value to what they're asking the rest of us to bet on them being right.


    Like say, if it turns out we actually ARE as fucked as it looks, the sane persons of the world get to watch Ewick and the rest of his big-oil-profits-über-alles comrades all walk into the rising ocean and fucking drown.

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  35. a bunch of people who believe in the evolution of humanity



    aka, scientists.

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  36. So the US Military and the various Insurance Agencies are staffed with gloomy, maladjusted, pessimists? That's as may be--but they could still be right.

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  37. tl; dr I SIMPLY DO NOT CARE TWITTER LIB

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  38. My favorite movie of all time!

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  39. Die of apoplexy? You are too kind. I can think of a number of other deaths that would be more appropriate, starting with penned farming and ending with slow cannibalism.

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  40. global warming?

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  41. "Oral" Roberts1:24 PM

    The Gods of Hedon

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  42. swkellogg1:31 PM

    "...a realer God than Gaia."


    Is this guy the master or what?

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  43. KatWillow1:54 PM

    Erik doesn't care because he's certain that HE will be one of the Chosen few who escape the ravages of abused Nature.

    Well, sure!

    He'll be a servant to the Billionaires who bought up water reserves and built their solar-powered mansion right on top of them. If he can really handle firearms, he might be one of their army. Along with Argle Bargle and Loadpants and the hundreds of Kock lickspittles. OR: they'll be fed to the Kocks dogs.

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  44. KatWillow1:57 PM

    ... step 4: Momeeeeee! Somebody help me! Why won't you help me you stupid "tolerant" Liberals?

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  45. KatWillow1:58 PM

    What's wrong with good old American coal mines?

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  46. KatWillow2:03 PM

    I own 2 such houses, and the newish one is less expensive. It also is built to CODE, so it probably won't collapse during an earthquake. (Can't be sure of that since its in Fremont, near the Hayward fault. but so is the other house, and I'm sure IT will crumble. That's why I don't live there.)

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  47. Jay B.2:04 PM

    Or people who read history.

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  48. This report is written by a bunch of people who believe in the evolution of humanity, but somehow think mankind is unable to adapt to changing circumstances.

    Given the duration of human generations, evolution can't keep pace with climate change. Given the inaction of policy makers, technological adaptation won't keep pace with climate change.

    We're pretty much fucked.

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  49. KatWillow2:07 PM

    they have to hide under nets What?

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  50. Jay B.2:08 PM

    I have never once met a person who treats global warming as the most significant issue of our time and is a well adjusted, happy person.


    Maybe because we have to spend so much of our fucking time trying to talk to the dumbest, worst, fucking people on Earth.

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  51. I've said it before and I'll say it again- we can't destroy the world, we can only destroy our world, a subtle but crucial distinction.

    The roaches and Cyanobacteria will do well without us.

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  52. FlipYrWhig2:12 PM

    He IS considered a lead-er.

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  53. Jay B.2:13 PM

    This is also choice: people in need of prayer to a realer God than Gaia.


    "Gaia" has earthquakes, volcanoes, floods, droughts, hurricanes and lightning. Gaia spends a lot of time on producing things that can kill you. God sits on his dick.

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  54. FlipYrWhig2:14 PM

    That was Stern Dad conservatism. We only see him every other weekend now.

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  55. If we don't pursue these policies, there will be a bonafide economic apocalypse. There will be a crash, the environmentalists are merely trying to soften the landing.

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  56. The reason is, I will not fib,
    I do not like you, Twitter lib.

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  57. BigHank532:37 PM

    One of the more successful efforts to control malaria has been very simple: give people mosquito nets to sleep under. It's a big square of netting; you screw a hook into the ceiling and tuck the edges under you mattress, giving you an insect-free place to spend the night.

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  58. BigHank532:41 PM

    I particularly like the way he seems convinced that somebody in Heaven will bring him a new ecosystem when he breaks the old one. I wouldn't call myself a devoted student of conservative Christians, but most of 'em seem to be able to tell the difference between Jesus and Santa.

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  59. swkellogg2:51 PM

    Slow-motion may just prove to be nothing more than a comforting thought.


    Tough times trimming the rudder in a maelstrom.

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  60. tigrismus2:54 PM

    What is that, anyway, argumentum ad felicitatum? People who believe some terrible thing will be terrible aren't skipping through life like happy Mr WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE SO WTF here, therefore the science just isn't there?

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  61. BG, watery tart3:02 PM

    So, let me see if I get this: humans are too weak to adapt to new forms of energy and technologies so that future generations don't fry, but we are tough enough to adapt to "changing circumstances"?


    How does this guy sit with an asshole that big?

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  62. ADHDJ3:05 PM

    Shorter: "Fuck the Christians. I know the scriptures say that humans were appointed by God to be the stewards of the earth. But when sacred texts cause you to agree with Al Gore, you can safely ignore them."

    Erickson feels completely comfortable mocking and defaming the fundamental teachings of Judaism and Christianity. Al Gore is a bigger influence on his behavior than the bible. We don't call this bullshit anti-Christian/anti-Jewish bigotry (or his cheering of people getting their water turned off in Detroit) but we really should.

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  63. BG, watery tart3:07 PM

    I'd be perfectly happy if Erick left this world for his "real" one.

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  64. PulletSurprise3:12 PM

    Or, more simply, adults.

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  65. Alphabet Hotel3:13 PM

    Erick is lying through his teeth about DDT being banned for malaria control. And in fact outlawing DDT use for agriculture actually makes it more effective for controlling malaria. Wikipedia:
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DDT#Restrictions_on_usage

    The Stockholm Convention, which took effect in 2004, outlawed several persistent organic pollutants, and restricted DDT use to vector control. The Convention has been ratified by more than 170 countries and is endorsed by most environmental groups. Recognizing that total elimination in many malaria-prone countries is currently unfeasible because there are few affordable or effective alternatives, the convention exempts public health use within World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines from the ban.[37] Resolution 60.18 of the World Health Assembly commits the World Health Organization to the Stockholm Convention's aim of reducing and ultimately eliminating the use of DDT.[38] Malaria Foundation International states, "The outcome of the treaty is arguably better than the status quo going into the negotiations. For the first time, there is now an insecticide which is restricted to vector control only, meaning that the selection of resistant mosquitoes will be slower than before."[39]

    ...

    Today, about 3,000 to 4,000 tonnes of DDT are produced each year for disease vector control.[16] DDT is applied to the inside walls of homes to kill or repel mosquitoes. This intervention, called indoor residual spraying (IRS), greatly reduces environmental damage. It also reduces the incidence of DDT resistance.[41] For comparison, treating 40 hectares (99 acres) of cotton during a typical U.S. growing season requires the same amount of chemical as roughly 1,700 homes.[42]

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  66. Is Brother Erick a Creationist? Old School? As in 6000-year-old Earth and out? Or maybe as Coulter seems to profess/pretend to be: geological deep time fine, but with the Christian God tweaking Homo Erectus along the way for selective advantage? Where is Thor in all this?

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  67. PersonaAuGratin3:19 PM

    Realerer than thou.

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  68. fraser3:19 PM

    It's the same logic by which "the number of troops killed in Iraq is smaller than the number of people who die in auto accidents in a year" was a perfect defense of the invasion but pointing out the same is true of the deaths on 9/11is Look, a Chicken!

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  69. PersonaAuGratin3:21 PM

    It's actually a literary genre:

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  70. swkellogg3:50 PM

    Not the fundament-alists:


    "If I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or if I command the locust to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among My people, and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land...

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  71. Tbone4:19 PM

    shorter Eric son of Eric:

    Global warming? Meh.
    Gay marriage? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!1111

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  72. I still say we're edging closer to the day when the shouty crowd communicates entirely in buzz words/phrases. In a few years EE will publish the following:
    DDT!
    ELITISTS!
    EVOLUTION!
    FATALGORE!
    GLOBAL WARMING!
    JESUS!
    LIBERALS!
    SCIENTISTS!

    And the gitterati will nod knowingly.

    FAUX News will be hilarious and they'll have a lot more time for commercials.

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  73. Helmut Monotreme4:23 PM

    Oh come on. How expensive is it going be to relocate every city at sea level or surround them with 20 foot seawalls really? Think of the jobs!

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  74. Helmut Monotreme4:27 PM

    I don't know if it's Koch owned but here is a refinery already asking for a government bailout to protect it from rising sea levels:
    http://grist.org/climate-energy/oil-refinery-threatened-by-sea-level-rise-asks-government-to-fix-problem/

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  75. willf5:14 PM

    One of these things is not like the other...

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  76. willf5:18 PM

    Argumentum ad derpum.

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  77. StringOnAStick5:53 PM

    The US military is already doing quite a bit of planning regarding GCC, from working on other sources of fuel to war-gaming about social/governmental upheaval. For crew that uses worship of the military as a tribal signifier, you'd think they might know more about these military efforts.

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  78. StringOnAStick6:05 PM

    I do recall Jonah Loadpants using this "mankind will adapt" argument about 5 years ago on the radio, but at the time I strongly suspected that the real plan was to invade and conquer Canada, if only for the tropical agricultural climate our northern neighbors will soon possess.

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  79. StringOnAStick6:07 PM

    All true libertarians believe that technology solves all problems. Funny how I've never met a libertarian research scientist.

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  80. satch6:09 PM

    I've already told Ms Satch that I want one of those funerals!

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  81. montag26:16 PM

    Oh, I'm pretty sure that ol' Erick believes he's going to be Raptured long before the big shit hits the fan.

    Boy, is he in for a big fucking surprise.

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  82. satch6:21 PM

    Shorter EE:

    Oh, suck it up you third world pansies. Why can't you be like us macho conservatives... we ain't askeered of nothing, long as we got our guns and our Deep Woods Off.

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  83. satch6:24 PM

    Cockroaches adapt, mankind will bitch and whine till you want to take out your eardrums with an icepick.

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  84. montag26:40 PM

    Honestly, I don't think Erickson is going to be spending any in the woods--at least not until they're air-conditioned.

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  85. montag26:42 PM

    "I'll admit, once you master the technique, it cuts down on wear and tear on the brain cells."

    And with only a few dozen of them working, that's a real consideration.

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  86. whetstone6:51 PM

    Jonah Goldberg, circa Katrina: "The proper response is to grow fins. Haha I made a funny."


    Erik Erikson: "The proper response is to grow fins. No, we'll grow fins, right? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME."

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  87. ADHDJ6:55 PM

    Help! Mom! There are David Vitters in my diaper pail!

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  88. tigrismus6:56 PM

    Well, this IS the guy who thought politicians should be beaten "to a bloody pulp" and the revolution started because he was too fucking lazy to scrape his damn plates.

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  89. whetstone6:56 PM

    It is... refreshing, in its own way. For instance, Bill Kristol on ISIS: "What's the harm of bombing them for a few weeks and seeing what happens?"


    Imagine an alternate universe in which the Iraq War was sold to us this way, instead of "it'll be over in two weeks and we'll pay for it with oil." Rather: YOLO. Succinct, honest, and deeply nihilistic, in other words a perfect reflection of the conservative id.

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  90. Hemidemisemiquaver7:01 PM

    I think EE has never met a true Scotsman either.

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  91. whetstone7:01 PM

    One of my friends used to live in a cavernous old one-bedroom apartment building in Chicago; the heating bills were something like $150 a month during the coldest part of the winter. The energy-use stats for buildings in Chicago are really depressing: it's the poorest areas (old housing stock, no capital, shredded by the contract-buying years) that use the most. Which means the poor get shafted yet again.

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  92. montag27:02 PM

    And if things keep on going as they are now, today's college graduates will be eager tomorrow for those less-than-minimum wage jobs slogging concrete around fat-assed Limbaugh's Palm Beach mansion. Or pedaling the generators for his air conditioning.

    He'll tell them it's just like building the pyramids.

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  93. montag27:07 PM

    Umm, what was the line from 1984? Ah, yes, "the destruction of words is a beautiful thing."

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  94. ADHDJ7:07 PM

    http://nothingbutnets.net/

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  95. I'm with willf. It usually takes more than a few months for the multiplier from increasing the minimum wage to show a large economic effect.

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  96. Who wrote this? That famously jovial pinhead Erik ibn Erick? Why, a more well-adjusted and jolly fellow just doesn't exist.

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  97. M. Krebs7:43 PM

    Truly, the reason Erickson exists is to give Jonah a reason to feel better about himself.

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  98. Or set up a system like modern American capitalism, in which somebody else has to pay those costs.

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  99. tigrismus8:01 PM

    So "existential threat" really means "makes me look bad?" Yeah, OK, I can buy that.

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  100. DocAmazing8:09 PM

    Also, "This report is written by a bunch of people who believe in the evolution
    of humanity"
    Over a REALLY long span of time

    He does realize that the mechanism by which evolution works is that freaks outbreed the no-longer-dominant population, right?

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  101. DocAmazing8:12 PM

    Sounds like someone has just confronted his mortality and is in a snit as a result.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Socialist Cubone8:40 PM

    "WE ARE A DAMNED NATION CAREENING TOWARDS FIRE AND BRIMSTONE"


    "Man, you non-Christians are so neurotic, you need help."

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  103. vista9:02 PM

    And, I'm betting they paid very little or no state taxes too.

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  104. davdoodles9:09 PM

    "This report is written by a bunch of people who believe in the evolution of humanity, but somehow think mankind is unable to adapt to changing circumstances."

    No, it's written by people that not only believe we can adapt, but also think we should.

    That is, now that it's pretty much too late to simply change our ways to avoid screwing the atmosphere in the first place, because their sensible, and correct advice was ignored by profligate, intransigent arseholes like Erikson.

    Meanwhile, profligate, intransigent arsehole Erikson now advises his idiot audience that the best course is to double-down again.
    .

    ReplyDelete
  105. Tehanu9:27 PM

    Not nearly as well as my new store selling only tumbrils, ropes, tar, feathers, and lampposts.

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  106. Tehanu9:31 PM

    Any movie where Ernest Borgnine plays a character named "Ragnar" ... well, it just speaks for itself, don't it?

    ReplyDelete
  107. Tehanu9:35 PM

    I wouldn't be surprised if the mosquito that drinks ErikErikErik's blood falls off his arm and dies on the spot.

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  108. Tehanu9:38 PM

    It's not "and be willfully blind to ballooning operating costs later." It's "and suck the money to pay for ballooning operating costs out of the poorest people nearby, none of whom will have received any of the benefits anyway."

    ReplyDelete
  109. Magatha9:40 PM

    I know, can't you just picture him tucking his kids in at bed time and saying, "Good night, sleep tight, fuck you and the grandkids too."

    ReplyDelete
  110. Tehanu9:42 PM

    "Erickson feels completely comfortable mocking and defaming the fundamental teachings of Judaism and Christianity."

    That's because the "realer" God he worships is a fella by the name of Mammon.

    ReplyDelete
  111. coozledad10:00 PM

    Oh, he'll die of selenium and strontium poisoning with the rest of us, but he'll be shaking his cancer can among the most influential.

    ReplyDelete
  112. HAIL RAGNAR!!

    ReplyDelete
  113. M. Krebs12:03 AM

    Oh yeah.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Brian Schlosser12:29 AM

    Barring massive, sudden release of methane clathrates, I suspect that we're not TOTALLY fucked. There will be pockets of semi-civilization around to rebuild once things get back to normal in a thousand years or so.

    Which will, I admit, be of little comfort to the people forced to eat the bodies of their dead children...

    ReplyDelete
  115. freq flag1:02 AM

    Do you publish a newsletter, sir? If so, I should like to subscribe.

    ReplyDelete
  116. freq flag1:11 AM

    Typical liberal political correctness. /snark (J-I-C)

    ReplyDelete
  117. freq flag1:21 AM

    From the same album...
    If you don't hurry, there will be no hope...
    Why don't you quit acting like a dope
    Clean up the air, and treat the ani-mals fair

    ReplyDelete
  118. freq flag1:24 AM

    Just so long as it's not--Jeebus forbid--politically correct
    (and/or pisses off liberals). Now there's an ethos.

    ReplyDelete
  119. freq flag1:24 AM

    Thanks, Obama!

    ReplyDelete
  120. Tehanu2:01 AM

    Alas, it's all only in dreams so far. I'll keep it in mind though! Maybe I should change my moniker to Mme. Defarge....

    ReplyDelete
  121. Glock H. Palin, Esq.2:02 AM

    Which I'm not necessarily opposed to, mind, but I don't see happening on a relevant timescale.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Pope Zebbidie XIII4:21 AM

    Humanity requires fewer than a million survivors in order to be an viable ongoing species.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Pope Zebbidie XIII4:25 AM

    Stages of Climate Change Denial:

    1) It's not happening
    2) It might be happening but we can't do anything
    3) It is happening but it's not that bad
    4) It is happening but it's too expensive to do anything
    5) It's too late to do anything. It's your fault for not convincing me.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Derelict7:27 AM

    Stern Dad conservatism only visits his young and minority children to yell at them. They should pull up their pants and their bootstraps! They should quit whining and get educations from the shitty public schools we've stripped all the funding from. Then they should go on to the college that won't admit them, paying with the tuition money they don't have. And when they've done all that, they can not have a job because we need to make sure all the overburdened and oppressed White men are gainfully employed.

    Leading Stern Dad conservatism to yell at his young and minority children to pull up their pants and their bootstraps, bunch o' lazy, puling layabouts!

    ReplyDelete
  125. Derelict7:33 AM

    And yet, such a simple, inexpensive, and pretty much environmentally neutral way of dealing with the problem is just too much for conservatives like Erik. I guess the only acceptable Conservative solutions are 1.) let 'em all die, or 2.) nuke the tropics into glass parking lots.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Derelict7:40 AM

    His toilet is more like an enema. (And if there's one lesson he's taken to heart, it's "Know they enema."

    ReplyDelete
  127. Derelict7:42 AM

    Gaia also gives up crops, supports tasty animals, recycles water to make it drinkable. All in all, a pretty active god.

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  128. Derelict7:46 AM

    He is the very model of a modern major idiot.

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  129. redoubtagain8:01 AM

    These are people who hate the military when it's not doing what they think it's supposed to do 24/7--kill brown people.

    ReplyDelete
  130. redoubtagain8:09 AM

    resentment, racism and rifle worship
    Here in Erick bin Erick's Georgia we call that the Ku Klux Klan, or the state Republican Party platform (but I repeat myself)

    ReplyDelete
  131. cleter8:38 AM

    I don't really understand why Republicans in 2002 were all "if there's a one in a jillion chance Saddam can blow up some office buildings in New York, we must imove heaven and earth to destroy him," but if there's a decent chance NYC will DROWN in rising waves, they're all "meh. don't care."

    ReplyDelete
  132. Helmut Monotreme8:56 AM

    I don't know, the 90% to 95% of humanity that will die, would qualify as "totally fucked" the way I count it. The survivors would only be "mostly fucked".

    ReplyDelete
  133. tigrismus9:29 AM

    2.) nuke the tropics into glass parking lots.

    Unfortunately the tropics are becoming moving targets.

    ReplyDelete
  134. tigrismus9:53 AM

    So it's not an existential threat! HUZZAH!

    ReplyDelete
  135. tigrismus9:54 AM

    DAAAAARWIN! *shakes fist*

    ReplyDelete
  136. So: stern dad divorced old liberal mom and left her with the kids. He married a second time to spendthrift but religious step mom and the two of them are spending the kids' inheritance and their own golden years vacationing, collecting shit, biblethumping and complaining about how kids these days are lazy and don't work as hard as they did.

    ReplyDelete
  137. They've been saying this crap for years. I heard some stupid Republican congressman explain to a hearing room full of anxious Northeasterners complaining about lack of snowfall/death of tourism industry that tourists would still come to look at Vermont if it turned tropical.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Funny how all the liberals he talks to seem to be consumed by anger and outrage, although not, I'd guess, at the beginning of the conversation.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Wrangler10:15 AM

    Same as it's always been: if you profess to care about the environment but do not do literally everything possible to ameliorate the situation, then you are a hypocrite and can safely be ignored. On the other hand, if you do do everything in your power, you will be written off as a deranged lunatic.

    ReplyDelete
  140. It's almost worth believing in the Rapture to be able to imagine that, especially if he got to see, oh, say, the Reverend Wright and a bunch of gay people floating up into the sky and waving bye-bye to all the doofuses down on the ground who misunderstood The Mysterious Mind of God. Welcome to The Road, Eric.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Who's the guy in the middle? Looks like Rumsfeld.

    ReplyDelete
  142. tigrismus10:34 AM

    Ted Kennedy as drawn by a toddler.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Matt Jones10:37 AM

    For fun, count how many "well, we're all gonna die so why worry about how hard we're fucking the planet" people are simultaneously insistent that we must "do something" about the national debt or else disaster.


    Because apparently humanity won't have any trouble adapting to sea level rise, desertification, or anything else - but GAWD FORBID the rich people of 2075 be asked to pay higher taxes.

    ReplyDelete
  144. And the skiing will still be great! http://www.nordicskater.com/rolskate.html

    ReplyDelete
  145. Insects can adapt, goddammit. Why can't we?

    ReplyDelete
  146. I shoulda knowed.

    ReplyDelete
  147. M. Krebs11:40 AM

    Let me slip this in:


    2.5) Al Gore is fat.

    ReplyDelete
  148. M. Krebs11:43 AM

    Like Carlin said, the Earth will shake us off like a bad case of fleas.

    ReplyDelete
  149. M. Krebs11:50 AM

    Cuz it'd be God whut done it. And we ain't spose to question Him.

    ReplyDelete
  150. BigHank531:12 PM

    We don't actually need any whiz-bang new technology. We already have the tools we need to go carbon-neutral.

    1. Tax fossil fuels enough to increase their end-use price by at least ten times. Twenty would be better.
    2. Move all our electricity generation to nuclear. (If you want to go to solar instead, we will need some new storage technologies.)
    3. De-utilize rural areas. Anyone who wants to live outside of town is going to do it off the grid. Sorry, but we need that copper...and we need you to stop driving, too.

    Would this suck big-time? Oh yes. Would it be an economic apocalypse? I dunno, why don't you ask all those 30-year-old college grads still living at home 'cause they can't get a decent job after Wall Street melted 30% of the economy?

    ReplyDelete
  151. The problem is, if premillienial dispensationalists are right about the Rapture, they're probably right about all their other vicious, monstrous doctrines. In which case, I'll take the cement overshoes, please.

    (Speaking of which, I'd totally be down with the version of the Rapture from the graphic novel Therefore Repent!.)

    ReplyDelete
  152. PersonaAuGratin3:19 PM

    Ted Kennedy, as this book was from about ten years ago.

    Though looking at it today, it looks kind of Bob Menendez-ish.

    ReplyDelete
  153. KatWillow3:43 PM

    Consider me suitably chastised. (hanging head in shame).

    ReplyDelete
  154. he thinks 'adapt to changing circumstances' = 'grow gills' , not 'build more efficient less polluting technology'

    so oc he thinks its easy & quick

    all you gotta do is expose humanity to more toxic chemicals so we mutate

    ....hey it works in the comic books & superhero movies !!

    ReplyDelete
  155. we will grow gills

    like kevin costner in WATERWORLD

    the toxins in the water will mutate us faster , see

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  156. dont forget the yarn & needle dept ! ! the revolution will need socks & hats

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  157. also since when are wingnuts happy abt anything?? discontent shadin to rage is their natural state in life

    ( i say nothing of 'well-adjusted' bc wtf does that mean for real , but if there were a good way of standardizing it they wldnt fit it either)

    ReplyDelete
  158. uh and who is going to grow & harvest yr food ?? urban rooftop / backyard farming isnt enf to sustain a modern population AT ALL , i doubt you have any idea how many acres of arable land it takes to fill a single supermarket

    or are you planning on feeding yr cities w soylent green instead??

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  159. personally im convinced that most if not all of them believe we will be hit by a comet soon

    so that it doesnt matter even what happens to their own children / grandchildren , theyre not worrying abt it bc everyone will be extinct

    so all they care abt is holding on to what they got / acquiring more

    bc they really do believe that HE WHO DIES W THE MOST TOYS WINS

    ReplyDelete
  160. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:34 PM

    Also too, 1.5), 3.5), 4.5), and 6) SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!

    ReplyDelete
  161. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:36 PM

    And for once in his fat life, he'd be right...

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  162. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:52 PM

    Well, if the planet were cooling,he might believe we'd evolve fur real fast. As it's going the other way, I've no clue what he expects...

    ReplyDelete
  163. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:54 PM

    Dunno, but I know where Thick & Tired ith,. Right here...

    ReplyDelete
  164. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:56 PM

    He's probably one of those idiots that thinks shooting a nuclear missile at an approaching Dinosaur Killer meteor will save the Earth.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person9:58 PM

    Hahahaha. Good one...

    ReplyDelete
  166. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person10:06 PM

    We are fast approaching Peak Wingnut. Kristol's 'let's bomb 'em, what's the harm in that?', E son of E's 'well you might be right, but we're not gonna be wrong so fuck you, and who cares anyway?', and GOP pols going with "I'm not a scientist" when asked about TGCCH. Mark my words, that last one's gonna morph soon from a weasel-word copout into a proud declaration:
    Candidate X on the stump: "I ain't no damn scientist!"
    The crowd goes wild...

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  167. YNWA4051511:02 PM

    Y'know, the (incredibly depressing*) thing about all this is that they're sort of right. Except in the case of very catastrophic acceleration of disaster due to climate change, people like Erickson will be dead because of something unrelated (or at least can be rationalized as such) long before they begin to notice much more than minor inconveniences to themselves as a result of global warming. And even if they live long enough to bear witness to some of the more dire effects, they'll either A) deny they're anything more than merely isolated events that would have occurred irrespective of AGW, or B) Claim that it's Somebody Else's Problem and it Doesn't Affect Me (or both A and B).


    *Also-- and perhaps still more-- depressing is the number of people who will take their cue from Erickson's indifference going forward.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Tbone4:25 PM

    Um, I'm pretty sure you understand exactly why they don't give a Shit.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Tbone4:28 PM

    Don't forget BENGAAZI!!!!!!!1111

    ReplyDelete