"This is a sign that the bubble around the White House is much thicker than people think,” [Jonah] Goldberg said. “Obama’s always liked to cultivate the idea of the ‘No Drama Obama.’ Maybe they think this shows him as an every-man kind of thing.”Said Goldberg as he completed a round of Fudge Pong.
Nero fiddled while Rome burned. Obama shoots a little pool while his nation crumbles.Hey, a classical (or at least Classics Illustrated) allusion! Who else saw Quo Vadis or Roman Legion-Hare?
And not only that he can then go to Colorado, swill beer, play pool and pretend all is well. Beer and pool – the modern version of Nero’s fiddle.
WHILE THE WORLD BURNS, OBAMA FIDDLES, GOLFS, AND SHOOTS POOLAND WEARS MOM JEANS AND EATS ICE CREAM AND EATS DOGS AND AAAARRRRGH [SPLURT]*
WHO IS IN CHARGE OF PRESIDENT OBAMA’S p/r? PLAYING POOL WHILE OUT WEST? (and not going to the border! yikes!) Click to see who tweeted the pic!This headline-salad was tossed by Greta van Susteren, and "who tweeted the pic" was the Governor, who is apparently is not sufficiently nuts to worry about the effect of the President playing pool on the nation's security, unlike Andrea Mitchell. Susteren added, "Pic tweeted by Colorado Governor….with all the problems going on, the President finds time to play pool (BUT NOT CALL AND HELP SGT TAHMOORESSI?)" (peculiar capitalization, color scheme in original). I don't see why Obama should bother freeing any more sergeants after the way the brethren treated the last one.
Here’s What Obama Is Doing Instead of Visiting the Crisis-Stricken Border
...Between this and his conscious decision to avoid the disaster on the border, for which he is at least partly responsible, he’s basically daring Republicans to join Sarah Palin’s call to impeach him. “So sue me!” was yesterday’s taunt.
That would be a foolish thing to do. They should run against his policies and portray him as what he is — a slacker who doesn’t care about the damage that he is doing to the country.That ought to cut a lot of ice, coming from the most work-shy Congress in history. National Review has also gotten into it with its usual dickishness ("Images of President Obama playing pool amid the border crisis aren’t going over well..." Andrew Johnson, you'll never miss a meal). Soon, in addition to accusing him of fritterin' away his noontime, suppertime, chore-time too, the brethren will recirculate that Photoshop of the President smoking what they will now characterize as Bevo or Cubebs.
Before they add that to the impeachment bill of particulars, however, they better scour the internet of this.
UPDATE. * I really wanted to link that bit to the scene in 1900 where Donald Sutherland gets his dick sucked while raving about the fascist revolution ("They will pay in money and land and cows and cheese and blood and shit and AAAGH!") but I can't find it online. Anyone else?
In comments some smart alecks bring up the previous President ("Now watch this drive"). I also enjoy dex's contribution: "SAVE US KENYAN IMPOSTER SAVE US." And Tom Hartley reminds us that while it hasn't been such a good idea for a Democratic President to visit Texas since 1963, going to the parts where armed crackers are currently congregating would be an even worse one.
This is the "damned if you don't" side of the criticism. The "damed if you do" occurs when Obama acts without Congress. Then he's autocratic and out of control.
ReplyDelete'I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.'
ReplyDeleteThe shot of Bush gazing down at New Orleans from Air Force One would be another fine example.
ReplyDeleteNow they are threatening to impeach him for following the law, an immigration law which requires due process for immigrant children signed by Bush in 2008. Is that about right?
ReplyDeleteHe should have been checking behind the sofa cushions for Messican children or serving cake to a POW.
ReplyDeletehttp://americablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/katrinamccainbdayx.jpg
Impeached for staring lustily at our white wimmen!
ReplyDeleteObama playing golf/pool has produced 45 months of job growth.
ReplyDeleteWe all know the only reason Obama went to Colorado was so he could smoke Alaskan Thunderfuck while making Sarah Palin jokes.
ReplyDeleteMost of them have decided Bush was a stealth liberal who they didn't want to vote for but he was better than FATALGORE or Wind-surf Kerry. For the rest, well ... there are certain key differences between Obama and Bush.
ReplyDeleteWhat an outrage that Obama wants to stay far away from these people: http://www.texasobserver.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/gun_rally-712x475.jpg
ReplyDeleteIt's like impeaching Lincoln for not going to the Ford Theatre.
SAVE US KENYAN IMPOSTER SAVE US
ReplyDeleteThey're also really upset that the number of minors deported by Obama is way lower than the number deported by Bush before he signed that law which increased the amount of time it takes to deport minors by 3 to 4 times.
ReplyDeleteNo shit. Like he needs to show up where there are a lot of armed crazy people who hate him to do....what? Tour the immigrant detainee center? And this will solve the problem how exactly, other than giving the armed crazy people a clear shot?
ReplyDeleteThe thing is: they do.
ReplyDeleteBecause they still don't understand why exactly normal people were horrified by Bush's reaction to Katrina and think there's some magic formula that will stick the same stink on Obama.
I would like to take this comment to dinner and a show. No box seats.
ReplyDeleteHow quick we forget: http://mediamatters.org/research/2009/07/10/busted-fox-news-still-running-with-obama-g8-pho/151898
ReplyDeleteOh, if only Jonah Goldberg were president, he'd be focusing on the nation's problems like a laser, "right after I finish these chitos".
ReplyDeleteLike the Secret Service would let him anywhere near that cluster o' fucks.
ReplyDeleteWe will never reach Peak Skree. Hell, the Sherpas don't even know where it is.
ReplyDelete*FAAAAAAAAAART*
ReplyDeleteHe's earned that and more.
ReplyDeleteThey seem to be under the impression that if he were to just witness a bunch of scared hungry children he would all of a sudden be moved to just dump them across the border like the rest of these good American patriots.
ReplyDeleteBot sides say this is a humanitarian crisis, problem is one side thinks that crisis is that a bunch of brown children might get a few meals from the government.
Sooo, "Why isn't the President personally coordinating an immediate massive response to the wave of diseased subhuman filth threatening our entire country?" must be another one of those GOP attempts to woo Latino voters I've heard so much about.
ReplyDeleteAnd if there were pictures of him being surrounded by sobbing children in the arms of their parents or god forbid, hugging anyone small and cute we'd never hear the end of it from the wurlitzer. YOu know how they hate even the word empathy.
ReplyDeleteIn your example, he'd be accused of exploiting children for a photo op. I guarantee it.
ReplyDeleteThat's the funniest damn thing I've seen this week. I had to take a moment away from my computer.
ReplyDeleteYou can't satirize these bloated idiots.
Maybe you could open for these guys!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.unionjacksrio.com/calendar-detail.php?id=416
OBAMA SNEEZES LOUDLY WHILE ROME BURNS
ReplyDeletealternative music was called "New Wave". This period has resurfaced in today's entertainment industry.
ReplyDeleteBoldly riding the hot musical trend of eight years ago.
Huh. They bring up some good points. Like WHO WAS RUNNING THINGS WHEN BUSH SPENT 1000 DAYS ON VACATION?
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, had Obama visited the border, he'd just be accused of distracting from benirsvagazagate. But that goes without saying.
What they don't understand is why anyone got so worked up about what happened to all those Black people. As Bush's mommy pointed out, "So, this is working out well for you." And never forget Jonah the Fail's dream of New Orleans going Mad Max.
ReplyDeleteThey'll get around to impeaching for following that law right after they impeach him for trying to appoint judges as he is required to do by the Constitution.
ReplyDeleteActually . . .
ReplyDeleteRemember how worked up the rightwing nuts got over the pictures of Obama taken during the killing of Bin Laden? Those were a national insult, and a grave piece of grandstanding on the backs of those brave SEALs.
They're just jealous of the way Obama handles that big cue of his.
ReplyDeleteI've heard a lot about those efforts too. Strange.
ReplyDeleteI guess they're really bad at wooing?
Not if they're doing their jobs right, they won't.
ReplyDeleteJonah researched his talk by eating an entire bag of jelly beans.
ReplyDeleteToo bad it's all wingnut welfare gigs.
ReplyDeleteObama is an elitist because he doesn't have a pack of Camels stuffed into his rolled-up sleeve.
ReplyDeleteThe least he could have done would be to learn how to play a simple G chord. Look at him; he's holding G#, C, D, G, B, G#.
ReplyDeleteI can guarantee you that that band'll have everybody Wang Chunging tonight.
ReplyDeleteThe Latinos aren't supposed to hear that part! And they don't speak English anyways. Some liberal must be translating to cause trouble!
ReplyDelete“Obama’s always liked to cultivate the idea of the ‘No Drama Obama.’"
ReplyDeleteThen why is this the first time I've heard of it, Goldberg? Are you actually retconning your own straw men?
Jonah Goldberg hasn't mastered pocket pool, even with the aid of a bridge and his mother's guiding hand.
ReplyDeleteWe need another Reagan to further destabilize Central America to ensure another wave of child refugees in 30 years.
ReplyDeleteThey actually posted this statement at the site:
ReplyDelete"During his presidency, Reagan won the Cold War, fired up the engines of economic growth and restored the country’s self-confidence."
I mean, it's not like anyone will call them out on it, the people who follow them aren't well known for being concerned about accuracy. But now they're claiming the Soviet Union fell at least 3 or 4 years before it actually did. FFS, the Berlin wall didn't come down until a year after Reagan left office.
A dude I work with went to it because he'll put up with a lot for a free lunch. I meant to ask him how stupid it ended up being but he left early.
ReplyDeleteI've heard it before, but not in fucking ever.
ReplyDeleteWhy should he go to the border? I'm really wondering what they think Obama should do there.
ReplyDeleteWhen presidents go to disaster areas, they are there to show "I care" while also balancing to minimize the disruption the visit causes.
What kind of "I care" message is transmitted by a visit to the border? There aren't bereaved homeowners here - just angry and hateful Americans yelling at detained children. Do the wingnuts expect Obama to throw stones at the buses alongside them?
On the other hand, a visit to the detention center is sympathetic to the detainees. And despite Glen Beck's fake concern, I hardly think the likes of Jonah will agree with that.
It was in response to Hilary and McCain who jumped on every single headline hoping to gain an advantage, while Obama patiently waited for the whole story to unfold before making asinine statements.
ReplyDeleteI see it's left to me to say: ...tryin' out tailor-mades like a cigarette fiend. Tailor-made JOINTS, that is. (And braggin' all about how he's gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen.)
ReplyDeleteAnd if he did, he'd be a liar because he quit smoking, right? Right?
ReplyDeleteAn empathy deficit can make it difficult to grasp motives. But it results in stone-cold bigots shouting "Liberals are racists!" and then sitting back with a satisfied smirk because they think that will be enough to swing the minority vote, which is funny.
ReplyDeleteCheck the local ERs. If the free market egg salad didn't get him, the feeling that he was covered in filth might.
ReplyDeleteAlso why Camels?! Sekrit Muslim Sand Desert Terrorists!!?!KN
ReplyDeleteDude has gone to Rand Paul speeches for a free lunch. He has a pretty iron constitution in that regard.
ReplyDeleteHE'S SNEEZING BECAUSE OF ALL THAT ARUGULA!
ReplyDeleteObviously he emptied a box of Camels and filled it with Kools.
ReplyDeleteYou need wit to woo.
ReplyDeleteA minor sixth above d flat? That's just Bush doing jazz hands.
ReplyDeleteThey only have legends whispered around the fires at night.
ReplyDeleteYou're too kind. It's a G on the wrong fret. (Although maybe he's doing some kind of flamenco thing. I should ask Vinnie Zummo.)
ReplyDeleteHe also cured my newtiness.
ReplyDeleteHa ha! He thought the jokes were funnier than they were. But hey, fuck you, Palin, anyway.
ReplyDeleteAn evening of pool and beer at Wynkoops is our idea of a lovely time, as it is for most Coloradans who visit Denver. I love seeing Obama hang out with regular people; he seems so much happier. I bet he's pretty sick of Congress and the media at this point.
ReplyDeleteShould be okay. No Colombian hookers nearby.
ReplyDeleteFuck, man, a free lunch is a free lunch. Anybody can put up with an hour's worth of bullshit if they put their mind to it.
ReplyDeleteBush could've stayed in his room for four years and nobody would've noticed. Okay, bring him out for a photo op every now and then, but really. The only question was whether he'd gotten his daily snort, shot, and Bible verse to get him out of bed in the morning.
ReplyDeleteCoulda been Newports, but point taken.
ReplyDeleteZamb, I need more upvotes for this comment.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct. How many "Obama's Katrinas" have we had?
ReplyDeleteAs a more irrelevant than usual aside, it is the somethingth anniversary of the War of 1812 and reading about the band makes me wish the Brits will give an encore of their Balmor/Chocolate City Blitz.
ReplyDeleteNothing about it is not bad, gross and wrong.
Given how confused they are about the passage of time, I suspect their sympathies lie more with Germany. But certainly the U.S. loss to Belgium (where some people speak FRENCH) is Obama's fault.
ReplyDelete"Cluster o' Fucks" was a Ben & Jerry's flavor that was test-marketed but never went into wide release. Focus groups appreciated that every carton had a dozen kinds of nut, but couldn't overlook the aftertaste of bile.
ReplyDeleteI'm familiar with the idea of using free food to get people to sit down and listen to the Good News. But I have to wonder if that's what is borking up their polling.
ReplyDeleteIs the food any good?
Among the many, many things that conservatives as a whole don't seem to get about the Mississippi race is the vicious irony of McDaniel claiming improprieties in the voting and then offering to bribe Mississippians who come forward with "evidence" of it.
ReplyDeleteIck.
ReplyDeleteBut I do love the sight of him accusing Obama of living in a bubble. Jonah's never been outside of one.
That's where the yetis live.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. He didn't do anything to cure Newt's newtiness.
ReplyDeleteAh, beat me to it.
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad he didn't go to the border for a photo op, because none of the pictures could have possibly been as good as this one. Dave Weigel suggests caption of "Ha ha, running for president in 2016! That’s hilarious. No, seriously, what are you up to?”
ReplyDeleteFU Diqsuq, let's try this again.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad he didn't go to the border for a photo-op, because none of the pictures could have possibly been as good as this one. Dave Weigel suggested a caption of "Ha ha, running for president in 2016! That’s hilarious. No, seriously, what are you up to?”
I thought they were from the SerenghYeti.
ReplyDelete[ducks incoming brick]
[listless voiceover] "Disco's back, and it's hotter than ever."
ReplyDelete*Though in fairness, I love New Wave.
And Glenn Beck must be confusing the fuck out of a lot of Righties, heading down there with a sleigh trailer full of toys and goodies. The tipoff that it's no Liberal do-gooder thing--besides the fact that it's beck--is Gohmert and Mike Lee going with him. There is no normal Human sentiment these slugs can't pervert.
ReplyDeleteA bubble with the same relative amount of ambient Cheeto-dust as you'd find in a henhouse when catapulting a weasel inside.
ReplyDeleteI see nobody got out of the boat over at "therightrant". I was tempted for a microsecond to try posting that "Calling the Blue", but, nah. Waste of time even trying.
ReplyDeleteApparently, he smoked Marlboros. How boring!
ReplyDelete"Seems we need another Reichskanzler like Kurt von Schleicher again. . ."
ReplyDelete(BUT NOT CALL AND HELP SGT TAHMOORESSI?)I see that Tahmooressi's family are complaining that he's languishing in gaol (after delaying his hearing by changing his lawyers), and that he's being kept in high security (after he attempted suicide and escape).
ReplyDeleteNo wonder the wingnuts are claiming him as one of their own. Has any of the usual grifters set up a fundraiser yet "to help with his legal defense"?
I love that. One of the 10 Greatest Things the L.A. Times ever published,
ReplyDeleteBecause Camels is what the cool kids smoke.
ReplyDeleteI just want another look at this comment from Sharculese downthread, with its encapsulation of Jonah's willingness to grapple with unfamiliar challenging ideas from outside sources, and his openness to more-than-just-rhetorical debate:Jonah's day was spent on a Heritage panel with Bill Kristol discussing whether we need another Reagan.
ReplyDeleteSomeone who lives in a bubble should not get stoned.
And I just want him to give me a hug and tell me that everything's going to be fine, with that winning smile of his, that says so much without saying a word, like a sunny spring day.
ReplyDelete"Why isn't the President personally coordinating an immediate massive response to the wave of diseased subhuman filth threatening our entire country?"
ReplyDeleteAnd here I thought this sentence was about the Bundy Ranch!
A lot of their playlist isn't even NW, but that sounds both safe and daring to the sort of puds who don't instantly get the dry heaves when reminded of that period of time. Me, I prefer to disassociate the music from That Which Napped.
ReplyDeleteI am tempted to go to their upcoming show and demand they play Bad Brains and SOA. Live by the 80s nostalgia, die by the 80s nostalgia.
I will stop ranting about this here. Now. I promise.
Too much credit for a guy fingering an open G on the wrong frets!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Gohmert has his instructions for Iowa's Steve King: Inspect every child's legs, then point out the ones with big calf muscles as they're the ones bring in drugs for the cartels.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me re-watch "Roman Legion-Hare," so thanks!
ReplyDeleteWhat good is the free lunch if you end up barfing it out? Just think about the bon mots Jonah will be dropping as he deluges the crowd with rapid-fire ignorance. Consider the amplifying effect of having Kristol there to smother the survivors with anti-knowledge.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, you'll come to realize that the projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea were the most pleasant part of the experience.
a no-win situation
ReplyDeleteAren't they all?
They had a big battle at Yetisburg a while back.
ReplyDelete"This is a sign that the bubble around the White House is much thicker than people think”
ReplyDeleteI'd ask if it was as thick as Goldberg's skull, but you know - fish, barrel, etc.
Curi-yetisy killed the cat, but sasquatchisfaction brought it back.
ReplyDeleteAnd many thanks for the Roman Legion-Hare reference. Good job, Mr. Roso!
ReplyDeleteSo there's at least one person who reads David Axelrod. Besides David Axelrod, anyway.
ReplyDelete"You really think that Jesus spoke English? Really?"
ReplyDeleteThey're really desperately afraid that people might forget that he's supposed to be the dijon-and-arugula president.
ReplyDelete"Well, I mean, not like today. Sheesh. It was Old English. You can see it right there in the original Bible, the King James Version."
ReplyDelete"That's Early Modern English."
"Hey, maybe your phony baloney Al-lah uses modern slangy talk, bein' African and all, but the Lord and Saviour of real Americans used proper, fancy English when dictating."
[Muttered] "Let he who is without syntax cast the first stone."
"You makin' fun of my glasses?"
"... Yes."
Bravo.
ReplyDeleteOh Lord, the toddler pout-face is too perfect.
ReplyDelete"Obama on National Catastrophe: Something to Sneeze at"
ReplyDeleteHere in Colorado the names of the bud in the stores are all sweetness and light, like "Happy Trails" or "Green Velvet", plus it is all locally grown (by law). Man, the hard, hard research I have to put myself through for you people!
ReplyDelete"Cluster o' Fucks" was a Ben & Jerry's flavor that was test-marketed but never went into wide full release
ReplyDeleteVan Susteren is totally het up about that major who is being held in Mexico because he drove across the border with guns in his car. The amount of excuse making is high, and according to my wingnut parents, the filthy Messicans have been torturing him, ohmygawd!
ReplyDeleteFunny Jonah should be bringing up "needing another Reagan", since Reagan's Central American fun/games destabilized the region and this refugee crisis is a direct result. I heard a quote from a Honduran mother saying she'd rather her kids die trying to get to the US than die on her doorstep from drug cartel violence.
I wonder if the media has failed to notice that the place POTUS was playing pool is the very popular bar & eatery owned by Colorado Gov. Hickenlooper, a known (D).
ReplyDeleteWas the answer "yes"? Don't keep me in suspense.
ReplyDeleteVan Susteren is totally het up about this guy, and mentions it often. The amount of excuse making for how this guy crossed the border is high, and according to my wingnut parents, the filthy Messicans have been torturing him, ohmygawd! If any Mexican drove into the US with 3 guns in his car, the average winger would want that guy sent to Gitmo, no hearings.
ReplyDeleteOT to the discussion, but my neighborhood stop-n-shop has put up the latest poster ad for Kamels (spoken in thick, gutteral German), of which there are two types. The tag line is "Which stick will you pick?" I read that and I thought, "Hm-m, probably not the best way to put that."
ReplyDeletePoor Obama's been put through so many permutations of bullshit that they can't remember which one he's supposed to be today. Although my guess is they won't give him credit for wielding "a big cue," as Big Hank noted above, not that they would get the joke, or maybe that they wood, I mean would. I mean, if it were me, I'd at least make some belittling comparisons to Teddy Roosevelt, but, well, let's wait and see.
ReplyDeleteUnlike, say, Rand Paul, who apparently has a toilet paper Constitution...
ReplyDelete(ducks)
Nope. It's a blurb about Rick Perry and Sean Hannity's rifle-fondling border meetup.
ReplyDeleteOops, forgot the sarcasm tags.
ReplyDeleteThat's how I see it, too. I'm going to try it when I get home. It might sound like the F major chord in Malaguena.
ReplyDeletewith all the problems going on, the President finds time to fake chopping wood on his Texas ranch?
ReplyDeleteTIFTFY Greta
Has any of the usual grifters set up a fundraiser yet "to help with his legal defense"?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.andrewfreedomfund.com/landing/?cdtrack_creative=095bb209-412c-4db9-bf36-53dc2d9dc685&cdtrack_source=3db6b64a-7523-476f-83ab-f6d50ea69417
Looking at Lincoln's facial expression in that shitty print of republican preznits crowding around a pool table makes me wonder what Abe, armed with a pool cue, would actually be thinking if he was face-to-face with his guffawing, back-slappin' modern-day counterparts.
ReplyDeleteMight just be me, but he looks like he's about to unchain his inner Samuel L. Jackson...
.
Calves like watermelons!
ReplyDelete...They probably do, to be honest.
Good luck with his defence too, which seems ot consist of "I accidentally entered Mexico" (as distinct from eg 'I accidently carried the guns'). I've only crossed into Mexico from the US by air, and the road route might be unbelievably slack in comparison, but how exactly does one "accidentally" go through several layers of security, past multiple, massive signs about leaving the US and entering Mexico, show one's passport to an official in a mexican uniform, answer a bunch of questions about the purpose of one's visit and all that other hoo-ha, without noticing?
ReplyDeleteThe other prongs of his brilliant defence seem to invovle insulting Mexico's law enforement, border control and legal systems. Oh, and lots of pouting.
Which (speaking as someone who lives out here in the badlands beyond the DisneyDome), is pretty much par for the course when some dumb yank gets caught taking a shit on our laws, rights, or sovereignty.
.
Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover a-gaaaain."
ReplyDelete"Ever the misunderstood intellectual, Bush's bold free-jazz performance was mocked by liberals expecting the degenerate platitudes of popular hip-hop and chart music" - John Hinderaker, or Armond White, or hell, any of them
ReplyDeleteMy problem with Obama's Southwest trip is it's a troubling sign that my party is in "Fuck it up", oops, I mean "Midterm" mode.
ReplyDeleteOptics are important. And we handed the opposition some good ones to use against us with this situation. Leader of the party, Obama, having fundraisers and shooting pool with a millionaire gov while little kids suffer a couple of hundred miles away. It's tone-deaf. If Obama had went to the border, then met with Perry, and then finally came to CO, we wouldn't be talking about this.
For the record, I want Obama to go to the border for a humanitarian reason. I want him to show those poor little kids that not every American is a spittle-flying rightwing asshole with a racist sign or an immigration officer. That someone important is concerned with them. Also, since it's an election year, it would be a nice thing for the Latino base of the party.
"Finish Him!" through a talkbox pedal.
ReplyDelete