Tuesday, June 03, 2014

IF YOU'RE PISSED THAT A BURGER-FLIPPER GOT A RAISE, YEWWW MIGHT BE A WINGNUT.

Aargh blaargh from "professional comedian and writer" Stephen Kruiser over Seattle raising its minimum wage to $15:
Hippie infestation... 
Apparently unaware that it doesn’t have the weather advantages that other places pricing themselves out of existence do (Los Angeles, anyone?), Seattle seems to be ready to set a record for how many businesses it can ruin. 
The earnest idiots who whip up this minimum wage frenzy... "...BECAUSE FAIRNESS.” No discussion of the fact that an entry level, part time job isn’t supposed to be your adult income wage for life. 
What they don’t discuss is just how stifling this progressive feel good, math-hating nonsense is to current and aspiring small business owners. 
Because they want to drive as many people as they can into financial hell.
Seriously, what is he bitching about? He believes in the market, right? So this foolish decision will cause businesses to abandon commie Seattle for the red-state hinterland, and capitalism wins!  I can see those bright folks currently working at Seattle-based businesses like Amazon, Starbucks, Safeco,  Nordstrom, Cray, Corbis, et alia, not to mention the venture capitalists and internet jockeys, and the hipster entrepreneurs of Sub Pop and Babeland, deciding they've had enough of this command economy and running off to Fritters, Alabama or North Dakota to enjoy all the freedom and fracking.

Maybe this'll be the tipping point for that great blue-red inversion of economic energy Joel Kotkin,  Rick Perry, and other great minds are always predicting.

Of course it'll take a while:


As Steve Allen first said and I like to repeat, how ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen the farm?

UPDATE. Some commenters are wondering what kind of capitalist announces his desire to keep workers' wages down. I doubt Kruiser really qualifies as a capitalist, though maybe he employs a maid. Neither do the wingnut-welfare cases at libertarian flagship Reason qualify, which explains this headline: "Seattle Prepares for Robot Revolution by Setting $15 Minimum Wage." At first I thought they meant that granting peons an almost-living wage would speed the rise of robot workers, though bosses need no such provocation and in fact already employ robots as soon as they can get them. You aren't going to slow them down by pretending to be happy with shit wages.

Then I realized it was a revenge fantasy.

Interesting too that they found a cleaning lady who allegedly had a "401k, health insurance, paid holiday, and vacation" only to see it see it ruined by the high-minimum-wage commissars. Maybe the poor woman should get out of that line of work and start driving a cab.

283 comments:

  1. LittlePig11:49 AM

    Wow. That map kinda says it all.

    It's almost as if America's Heartland is a white trash dystopia... oh,wait, right.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AngryWarthogBreath11:52 AM

    No discussion of the fact that an entry level, part time job isn’t supposed to be your adult income wage for life.

    Okay, let's discuss that! It really shouldn't be! And yet in many cases it is. So with that in mind, singlehandedly fix economic mobility issues, raise the minimum wage, or shut up.

    Or all three! They're all fine choices.

    In fact, Mr. Kruiser, pull off those first two and - at a great cost in personal sacrifice - I won't require that you shut up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. zencomix11:57 AM

    "Grocery stores fear him... Man creates brain-dead simple system to cutting your grocery bill by 90% (HINT: It's NOT Coupons)... Click Here"

    ReplyDelete
  4. zencomix11:59 AM

    Is it time for the U.S. TO INVADE SYRIA? VOTE!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps12:03 PM

    Where are all these people who are supposedly demanding that entry-level foodservice or retail be their lifelong career?

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  6. Giant Monster Gamera12:05 PM

    Living just across the border from the socialist hell of Seattle, I'm looking forward to the influx of fast-food joints that will flock to the heretofore undiscovered Galtian paradise of the Eastside, leaving Seattletes to enjoy their craft cocktails and arugula.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Giant Monster Gamera12:16 PM

    Flip the red and the blue, and it'll mimic the 2000 election map.


    You know, the one where rocks and trees were granted the right to vote.

    ReplyDelete
  8. No discussion of the fact that an entry level, part time job isn’t supposed to be your adult income wage for life.


    Tell that to your team and their policies, you parasitic little fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I won't require that you shut up.


    No, I'm sorry, I generally approve of your platform, but this point is non-negotiable. (In the spirit of cooperation however, I'm willing to drop his shutting up being caused by "choking on a bag of salted dicks.")

    ReplyDelete
  10. Helmut Monotreme12:27 PM

    I'll let the Center for Economic Policy Research handle the rebuttal:
    An analysis of government data on fast food workers, however, tells a different story. First of all, only about 30 percent of fast food workers are teenagers. Another 30 percent are between the ages of 20 and 24. The remaining 40 percent are 25 and older. (All the data we present here are from the government’s Current Population Survey, where we have combined data for the years 2010 through 2012 in order to provide a large enough sample for analysis.) Half of fast food workers are 23 or older. Many teenagers do work in fast food, but the majority of fast food workers are not teenagers.
    http://www.cepr.net/documents/publications/fast-food-workers-2013-08.pdf

    ReplyDelete
  11. Derelict1:12 PM

    Conservative's resistance to minimum-wage increases seems difficult to understand--until you realize that they view the economy is a dichotomy. In one part of that dichotomy are the wealthy. Every extra dollar that goes into their pockets is a measure of the strength and prosperity of America.

    In the other part of that dichotomy is everyone else. Every extra dollar that goes into the pocket of someone who is not wealthy represents a loss, a weakening of America. Allowing the poor to become less poor is an affront.

    Besides, as every conservative worth his or her salt will tell you, the poor are very well off in this country. Better off, in fact, than people with middle-income jobs. Which explains why so many conservatives really want to be poor.

    ReplyDelete
  12. BigFinTom1:21 PM

    No discussion of the fact that an entry level, part time job isn’t supposed to be your adult income wage for life.



    This guy thinks $15.00 an hour is an adult income wage for life? Well, his bio doesn't say, " successful comedian and writer."

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  13. Spaghetti Lee1:26 PM

    Well, I'm sure by the end of today Seattle will be a ghost town as people flee to the suburbs to find a Big Mac that doesn't cost $15 bucks. Yep. Aaaaany minute now....anyone got any board games or something?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Spaghetti Lee1:32 PM

    aspiring small business owners.

    Aspiring small businesses like McDonalds, Starbucks, and Walmart?

    other places pricing themselves out of existence do (Los Angeles, anyone?)


    A city of 3.8 million has priced itself out of existence? I didn't notice. Is this guy one of those 'anti-humor' comedians?


    BTW, that argument about people fleeing New York/LA/whatever always makes me crack up. Yes, guys, people are leaving because they can't afford the rent and cost-of-living, because demand to live there is so high that it's jacking the prices sky-high. Seriously, Wall Street firms are among the most psychotically competitive institutions on the planet. You don't think that if one of them thought they could relocate to Fritters, AL and stay competitive they'd do it? They stay in New York because they know they wouldn't stay competitive, and the benefits of doing business there for them (if not for the average citizen) outweigh the costs.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Seriously, what is he bitching about? He believes in the market, right? So this foolish decision will cause businesses to abandon commie Seattle for the red-state hinterland, and capitalism wins!


    Presumably he's bitching because he knows this isn't what'll happen, and what'll happen instead is that a burger-flipper might feel some reprieve from grinding, 24/7 financial anxiety. And that would be terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Jay B.1:45 PM

    Apparently unaware that it doesn’t have the weather advantages that other places pricing themselves out of existence do (Los Angeles, anyone?), Seattle seems to be ready to set a record for how many businesses it can ruin.


    Er? This is what happens when "professional comedians" try and "write", the unfunny ones at least. They still try and shoehorn in a couple of "jokes" using stage patter ("anyone"?) only to make even less sense than if they wrote a straight piece as to why lowly workers deserve any wage at all.


    Also, all it takes is a very, very, VERY simple understanding of how markets work (supply, demand) to know that places almost NEVER "price" themselves out of existence. There might be a correction or two someday, but then the cycle just starts up again because that's where the beauty, the culture, the bars, the education, the jobs and the industries are.

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  17. Gromet1:53 PM

    The earnest idiots who whip up this minimum wage frenzy... "...BECAUSE FAIRNESS.”


    The best thing about the income inequality debate is the percentage of right-wingers who insist the minimum wage debate consists of The Left clamoring for "fairness" in a world that was intended by God Himself to be unfair (100%). Sure, let's live by an eternal Game of Thrones morality that we sustain mainly by each imagining ourselves to be the unassailable Tywin Lannister. Good plan.


    It never occurs to them that the other side isn't here to take away their stuff in a whiny class war, but is actually looking for ways to fine-tune the very same system to achieve its maximum sustainability.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Giant Monster Gamera1:53 PM

    What seems to be missing from this "discussion" (at least on one side), is that the increase will be phased in over SEVEN years. To listen to the howls of outrage on the right, you'd think the commissars would be pounding on the doors of the Jack in the Box come Monday morning, demanding everybody's pay stubs.

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  19. whetstone2:00 PM

    Apparently unaware that it doesn’t have the weather advantages that
    other places pricing themselves out of existence do (Los Angeles,
    anyone?), Seattle


    OK, we're done. An average high temperature range of 46-76 is, for a lot of people, an advantage—if you actually like spending time outside. Everyone I know who's ever lived in Seattle likes this about the city, because there are lots of beautiful places to go outside and not many days when it sucks too much to go to them.

    ReplyDelete
  20. randomworker2:01 PM

    My favorite graphic in forever! We should allocate resources like this! What??

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  21. randomworker2:03 PM

    That's precisely why I am moving there in September.

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  22. DS_86753092:03 PM

    Curious as to where the graphic is from. Did not see it in the link.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Tiny Tim2:03 PM

    Angelinos (some of course) have a weird relationship with their weather. It doesn't get cold, fine, we get it. But the weather varies quite a bit from the beach to more inland, and many justify the fact that nobody walks anywhere (changing, I know) by saying that it's too hot.




    Almost all places in the US have shitty weather 4 months per year. There are a couple of exceptions.

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  24. DS_86753092:04 PM

    LA by the beach is always cool and really clammy feeling to me.

    ReplyDelete
  25. randomworker2:06 PM

    I loved that from the first time I saw it. I bookmarked it here and I think you can tell who produced it from the links.

    http://blogs.marketwatch.com/capitolreport/2014/02/19/the-incredible-gdp-map-that-shows-half-of-output-generated-by-a-few-cities/

    ReplyDelete
  26. Gromet2:13 PM

    What they don’t discuss is just how stifling this progressive feel good, math-hating nonsense is to current and aspiring small business owners.


    I know a couple small business owners, and they don't mention feeling stifled by having to pay their own workers.


    They are very intelligent, hardworking, creative dudes who are excited to run their own business. The strategies and relationships involved, the devising goals and plans -- these guys love it. And given what seems like the level of ingenuity and energy demanded, I can't imagine there are a lot of other dudes who have a real shot at success whose personality in addition includes a heavy dose of "I'd succeed, too, if not for these stifling laws!" It just doesn't seem like part of the personality recipe, as I know it.



    Of course, that's quite a caveat; it's possible there is another type of business owner. Like that Joe the Plumber idiot -- you know, they guy who didn't actually have his own million-dollar business yet, but fantasized he might, and was voting against the concept of taxes (and therefore Obama) because it made it sound like all his hypothetical hard work would be for naught in Imaginary Future, based on his misunderstanding of how tax brackets function. Who knows!

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  27. A city of 3.8 million has priced itself out of existence?


    Someone missed the series finale of Angel, I see.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Derelict2:35 PM

    I second that, and I'm willing to supply extra salt.

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  29. So wingnuts know just as much about small business as they do about how a soldier should behave in a combat zone. But they're sure as shit not going to let that stop them from lecturing everyone about it, all the time.

    Basically, they're just assholes.

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/genius-and-madness/200809/is-political-conservatism-mild-form-insanity
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  30. Your second-to-last point is a very good one. The way even many left-wing people idealize small businesses is pretty silly. On the left it usually takes the form of, "Well, better working for Mom and Pop than some soulless corporation" (admittedly, this sentiment appeals even to many/most right-wing workers, though obviously less so to right-wing elites). This is hardly a universal truth. Mom and Pop can exploit you just as easily - more easily in some ways, as you point out - as McDonald's can, and are significantly likelier to say, "Whoops, don't have enough to cover payroll this week, so you'll be getting paid late. Good luck with those bills!"

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  31. Derelict2:37 PM

    "No need to see that balsam's ID, registrar! I knowed that tree all mah life!"

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  32. Just dont give him your dick.

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  33. Derelict2:38 PM

    I want to play Parchese with this comment. Or maybe Chutes and Ladders.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Speaking of CEPR:

    http://www.cepr.net/index.php/blogs/beat-the-press/npr-hypes-the-job-loss-story-on-restricting-carbon-dioxide-emissions

    By comparison, our trade deficit means that an amount of demand equal to 3 percent of GDP is being spent abroad rather than in the United States. This directly translates into a loss of roughly 4.1 million jobs. If we could lower the value of the dollar relative to other currencies by enough to reduce the trade deficit by just 10 percent (0.3 percentage points of GDP), it would lead to 410,000 more jobs in the United States. This is more than five times as many jobs as we stand to lose in the coal industry over the next 15 years. In principle the reduction in the trade deficit can be accomplished in a relatively short period of time. Declines in the value of the dollar led to sharp reductions in the trade deficit (more than 2 percentage points of GDP) in the periods from 1987-1989 and 2005-2010.
    ---
    ~

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  35. edroso2:39 PM

    Oops -- had the wrong link on the line "that may take a while" before -- check here: http://www.businessinsider.com/us-gdp-map-2014-2

    ReplyDelete
  36. tigrismus2:40 PM

    Wait, you mean people ARE actually discussing these things, with evidence and stuff? UNPOSSIBLE.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Derelict2:41 PM

    Are you sure it's not to suck up that $15/hr wage while attaining your lifelong goal of working the men's fragrance counter at Macy's?

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  38. ADHDJ3:09 PM

    We just tell people from out of state that the weather sucks (or rather, don't correct them) to keep the assholes out. Yeah man, weather's terrible. That's why we drink that coffee and listen to grunge music!

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  39. math-hating nonsense

    This from the guy who apparently can't figure out that a $15 wage increases the cost of a Big Mac by 68 cents.


    Yes, yes, Mickey D's has economies of scale that the noble, small independent businessperson doesn't, and that's who Stevie is thinking of with such concern ... and which is why it's a franchise owner's trade group which is threatening to sue to overturn the city council's unanimous decision. Unanimous. Wow, you'd think all those small business owners who drive Seattle's economy would have turned out to vote and kept this from happening.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Of course he's miffed. These tossers rely on people not doing the things they say will be disastrous because it's the only way they can hope to maintain the illusion that they aren't completely full of shit.

    Remember when Obamacare was going to ruin the economy by putting every business out of business including health insurance companies? And before that, when Massachusetts' equal marriage law was going to crush civilization like a bug? See also ending DADT, Medicare, integrating schools and giving women and African-Americans the vote.

    And finally

    What they don’t discuss is just how stifling this progressive feel good,
    math-hating nonsense is to current and aspiring small business owners.

    I notice this asshat doesn't discuss it either. But hey, everyone knows the evil liberals tied up the business owners and didn't give them a say in the drafting of the legislation or allow them to vote.

    As an aside, am I the only one who wonders when they'll come up with an alternate epithet to Hippie? I was raised by hippies in an area where hippies lingered and a barely remember what the hell a hippie is. I can't imagine what the kids think.

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  41. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person3:15 PM

    There's also the fact that to idiots like this guy, all urban (working) poor are, well, "urban" really says it all, amirite?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Yeah man, weather's terrible.

    The Allen Institute for Brain Science (the last part should really be in all caps) puts it thus on their careers page:

    The temperatures are mild, and it rains much less than you might imagine.


    Someone probably needs to shut them up.

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  43. Another Kiwi3:23 PM

    How sad to be a conservative comedian and writer and find that not only is Roy is 20 times better, basically just by straight reporting but the comments kick your ass as well.

    ReplyDelete
  44. and didn't give them a say in the drafting of the legislation

    An excellent point that I didn't manage to shoehorn into my previous comment. From USA Today's article on the move:

    The ordinance was drafted by an advisory group of labor, business and non-profit professionals.


    Okay, maybe current small business owners might have been able to get a word in edgewise. But aspiring ones were left high and dry.

    ReplyDelete
  45. mgmonklewis3:28 PM

    Not to mention, having adequate sources of water for your metropolitan area isn't a bad thing either.

    ReplyDelete
  46. most franchise owners nowadays are not community members or "small business persons with a dream"; they are, in fact, hedge funds.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Derelict3:35 PM

    As always, my fondest wish is that people like Kruiser get all their policy dreams implemented with the full force of law--and that people like Kruiser then lose all their money and are forced to live under those policies.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Brian Schlosser3:35 PM

    Exactly. Who WAS it that crashed the economy forcing people to work formerly entry level jobs for life?

    ReplyDelete
  49. Derelict3:38 PM

    Although, in fairness, mom-n-pop are much more likely to give you time off to deal with your sick child/dying parent/broken car than a bigger concern. Usually the bigger business will give you permanent time off just for having one of those difficulties that all of us human encounter every now and again.

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  50. Midwest_Product4:02 PM

    >In the other part of that dichotomy is everyone else. Every extra dollar
    that goes into the pocket of someone who is not wealthy represents a
    loss, a weakening of America. Allowing the poor to become less poor is
    an affront.


    I think the other issue is that when a lot of conservatives think about redistribution of wealth, they view the transfer of wealth as permanent. Like, if we tax Mr. Rich $20k per year and give it to Mr. Poor, in twenty years Mr. Rich is broke and Mr. Poor is riding around in a Lamborghini. But the whole point of giving money to the poor isn't to make them rich, it's to ALLOW THEM TO PURCHASE BASIC NEEDS. When they spend the money, and poor people spend all of their money, it will go right back to Mr. Rich.



    I don't believe there is a single conservative commentator alive who realizes that giving a dollar to a poor person will rapidly result in someone other than that poor person holding the dollar.

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  51. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person4:03 PM

    I have no doubt a lot of folks were a bit startled to find out that their fucking $5 burger was *not* the result of the burger-flippers being paid too much.
    I also think the 15¢ extra McDowners has to charge to get that pay raise back will sneak right past most of 'em.

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  52. geraldfnord4:09 PM

    Well, we need to repeat that 'isn't supposed to be' line as often as possible in order to maximise the humiliation those working such jobs well into adulthood are supposed to feel. The humiliation is key, otherwise we'd automate the job out of existence (no fun trying to humiliate a robot...so far), and is part of the 'We won't let you completely starve as long as you act and feel sufficiently humiliated.' upon which much of our system is based.

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  53. KatWillow4:13 PM

    Wait until Seattle becomes an economic Boom Town, and see what this witty fellow has to say.

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  54. KatWillow4:15 PM

    I think an hour's wages should be able to buy 4 gallons of gasoline. Thats what it did when I got my first job @ $1.65 per hour (actually it could buy 5+ gallons).

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  55. satch4:17 PM

    "You don't think that if one of them thought they could relocate to Fritters, AL and stay competitive they'd do it?"


    Well, Rod Dreher telecommutes from Gatorbutt, LA, but then, he's pretty much in a one-man boutique niche...

    ReplyDelete
  56. It's a total crapshoot. If you're lucky you might end up working for a decent, compassionate employer. But there are plenty of small business owners who are megalomaniacal and tyrannical (it's a personality type that's frequently attracted to business ownership) who will absolutely fire you for petty reasons.

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  57. philadelphialawyer4:19 PM

    Meh, in my experience, small businesses will give you as much "time off" as you want for most things. They just won't pay you for any of it. Whereas big businesses actually do give paid sick days, paid such and such leaves, "personal days," vacations days and so on. Of course, big businesses, as I mentioned, have their faults too.
    One of which is, yeah, they are quicker, much quicker, to lay off or fire than most Moms and Pops. To a big business, an employee is a cog. To a small business, an employee actually is rather important. The time it takes to find a replacement and train her and so on matters. Also, sure, most Mom and Pops are less cold hearted too.

    ReplyDelete
  58. KatWillow4:21 PM

    I think their horror is based on the fact that if minimum wage is $15, then the "average" wage will have to be, what, $30 per hour? And "good wages" $50? OH THE HUMANITY!

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  59. montag24:34 PM

    See what happens when you make Dennis Miller your hero?

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  60. sharculese4:34 PM

    It was the most appealing of all the communities that have yet to politely indicate that maybe he should stop bothering them.

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  61. satch4:45 PM

    "I notice this asshat doesn't discuss it either."


    Discussion? This is PJMedia we're talking about, where all the members of the closed circle of readers/commenters have heard the same lines so many times before that it's like the old joke about telling jokes in a prison where all the inmates have read the same joke book, and all anyone has to do is shout out a number to get a laff. Discussion? Fuggettaboudit

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  62. montag24:45 PM

    How funny! A right-wing "comic" and "writer" defends low wages. Isn't that a bit like delivering the punch line before the joke?

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  63. OBUMMER FORECED PEOPLE TO MOVE TO SEATTLE BUT THERE ALL HIPPIE QUEERMONAUTS SO I DON'T CARE!!

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  64. Giant Monster Gamera4:47 PM

    I'm surprise they haven't been posting this:

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  65. tigrismus4:47 PM

    Apparently his Big Book of Supposed To Be doesn't say comedians are supposed to be funny.

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  66. Giant Monster Gamera4:48 PM

    Look for a return of the "Will the Last Person Leaving Seattle - Please Turn Out the Lights" billboards.

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  67. Derelict4:49 PM

    I'll put on my employer's hat for a moment:

    I ran a small non-profit radio station for a couple of years. It had two employees when I started--myself and the engineer. I added two more over the next two years (a sales person and a producer). None of us made much money, none of us had benefits.

    As the boss, I knew these jobs sucked from a pay perspective, and the station did not have the resources to give anyone a raise. So I made sure that I compensated for that by being very free with time off whenever someone needed it, sticking up for the employees in any disputes with the board of directors, and digging into my own pocket to help each of them with their personal crises.

    My point is that just because the enterprise isn't churning out huge profits does not mean you have to treat your employees like garbage. And not all compensation is monetary. Sometimes just being an understanding human being is what it takes to make a low-wage job worthwhile to your employees. These, apparently, are concepts lost on many employers.

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  68. satch4:49 PM

    Spokane is even now bracing for the tsunami of incoming Heroic Franchise Owners.

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  69. TGuerrant4:50 PM

    Wait. Were you the one who threw live turkeys out of the helicopter for Thanksgiving????? I've always wanted to meet you!

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  70. Derelict4:51 PM

    If you look at the guild agreement for right-wing comics, you'll find that they are barred from being funny or evolving beyond a single schtick. See Dennis Miller for one prime example. Or that other racist moron with the ventriloquist dummy.

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  71. Right you are.


    Riding w/ an Englishman one night, the radio weather-weasel said it was a "chilly" 57°F. We both laughed.

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  72. Derelict4:53 PM

    No. Though I did end up causing a stampede in our tiny downtown when a local store gave away $10,000 in jewelry.

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  73. satch4:53 PM

    Now I'm really curious about what kind of shape Stevie's tip jar is in at the end of a typical night at The Komedy Korner.

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  74. 99% of their schtick is unspecified bad thing happening to unspecified person. The unknown aspiring business owners who never got beyond the aspiring stage because a higher minimum wage squished his dreams. The unknown current business owner who had to make a penis cake because Gay Marriage squished his religion. The unknown man who didn't get admitted to Harvard because Affirmative Action crushed his chances of success. That unknown zygote that didn't get to be the first man on the moon because abortion ...

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  75. TGuerrant4:54 PM

    Ooooh. You're THAT one, eh? Lemme buy you a beer.

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  76. The wage increase only increases the cost of Big Macs if the franchise owner decides to be a dickweed about it.

    Really, a business owner who has to immediately pass along every change in costs to his customers should probably not be a business owner.

    So maybe this will be a sort of survival of a fittest. The strong businesses will survive, the weak eaten by their betters. Those guys like that sort nature red in tooth and claw, every man for himself shit, don't they?

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  77. Another Kiwi5:01 PM

    He'd like to tell you but it keeps getting stolen.

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  78. Hippies are squares with long hair/And they don't wear no underwear
    http://youtu.be/fOC0mDFkwUo

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  79. redoubtagain5:02 PM

    A city of 3.8 million has priced itself out of existence? I didn't notice. Is this guy one of those 'anti-humor' comedians?

    He got his MBA in Humor Management Comedy.

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  80. It's a destination, not a fly-over.

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  81. dstatton5:02 PM

    Excellent points about small businesses. I can't help but think of Maggie's Farm: "she fines you every time you slam the door".

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  82. RogerAiles5:15 PM

    I wonder how much Stepho paid Peejayem to publish that tripe?

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  83. TGuerrant5:16 PM

    OT - 100% of my sisters bloodied their fists in the post-Elliot Rodger manitude brawl at dKos. They kept e-mailing me horrible comments they found. But I got one "THIS!" comment from each of them - different comments, but same commenter. You. Keep it up and you may have to come to the farm for Thanksgiving.

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  84. montag25:17 PM

    Probably because the jar is more valuable than the tips in it.

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  85. montag25:20 PM

    More than it was worth, no doubt.

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  86. The tips are pre-emptively stolen by those coastal elite moochers.

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  87. The greatest fear of the righties is that they aren't needed at all. There's nothing they can threaten to withdraw that would hurt liberals. They can't even claim that the liberals would starve without red-staters, because California, Illinois, Minnesota, and New York are agricultural powerhouses.

    I could cover almost all of my nutritive needs by hitting farmers' markets run by groovy, crunchy people who live within one hundred miles of my urban hellhole, and cover the rest with products sourced in other blue states.

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  88. J Neo Marvin5:32 PM

    I read that as the Alien Institute For Brain Science. Now that's what I call a band name.

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  89. tigrismus5:34 PM

    Better a band name than an actual institute, as rectal probes are not the best tool for brain research. Well, OK, maybe if they mostly pick up right-wing "comedians."

    ReplyDelete
  90. whetstone5:43 PM

    As a Chicagoan, my android future self is counting on Lake Michigan being our ticket to riches.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Another Kiwi5:45 PM

    Possibly they don't even put one out because Stevie's been accusing the wait-staff of stealing his tips and no one has the heart to tell him what's really happening.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Adrian5:48 PM

    Hey Wingnuts,

    The minimum wage in Sierra Leone is 3 ¢ an hour.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Whatever happened to John Bobbitt's porn career?

    ReplyDelete
  94. Lurking Canadian5:59 PM

    Oh, they can go Galt all right. In fact, I kind of wish they would. We just wouldn't notice if they did.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Derelict5:59 PM

    It got cut short. Ba-dup! Chisssssssssssssssss!

    Thanks. I'll be here all week. Try the veal. And tip your waitress!

    ReplyDelete
  96. That is seriously why conservatoids scoff at attempts to mitigate poverty--they are incapable of understanding human relations outside of a vertical hierarchy that is exponential in its separation of classes. Ergo, in their world not only is it pointless to raise what is considered Trash People, but at some point you cannot raise the level of God People any higher, so MATHS stoopid libtards!!!

    ReplyDelete
  97. Derelict6:06 PM

    Besides, if he really subscribes to conservative economic theory, the confiscatory taxes imposed on those tips by evil liberals means he doesn't even want the tips. After all, if you're only allowed to keep $7 of every $10 you make, why would you even want to make $10?

    ReplyDelete
  98. Derelict6:09 PM

    Just one more libertarian paradise none of them want to visit, much less live in.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Miller is the unfunny, fee sure, but I do remember one great line for me, anyway. It was probably written by someone else, but Miller delivered it in a "spontaneous" exchange with some reporter:


    Guy with microphone: "They say Oasis is the next Beatles. What do you think?"


    Miller: "Yeah, I'm thinking the next Badfinger."


    Other than that mildly amusing bon mot, I can't think of any thing else to remember Miller by.

    ReplyDelete
  100. AngryWarthogBreath6:19 PM

    I was working under the assumption that I could live with some stupid triumphalist bullshit if shit also got done, but on reflection, since he's complaining about how the minimum wage already got raised, he's got nothing to do with point 2, and since he's a right-wing jackhole trying desperately to make a false point with scare stories of economic disaster that never happen, he'd probably try to achieve point 1 by killing all the poor people and then say that no one needs economic mobility any more.


    So you're right; fuck it, he gets to shut up.


    Still, since politics is the business of compromise, maybe we should allow him to choose the method of curing used on his bag of dicks? I know "bag of salted dicks" has the preferred Tbogg/Kristol cadence, but maybe there is yet room in this world for a "bag of pickled dicks" or even a "bag of air-cured dicks".

    ReplyDelete
  101. M. Krebs6:35 PM

    How's this: Minimum hourly wage should be 1/50th (2%) of the median monthly rent of one bedroom apartments within a particular county or city with a population of 100,000 or more. Other places can fall under a Federal minimum tied to core CPI.

    ReplyDelete
  102. JennOfArk6:38 PM

    "Tip" may not be the best word to use in this particular context.

    ReplyDelete
  103. JennOfArk6:38 PM

    Bag of dick jerky.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Derelict6:39 PM

    Considering what happened to Badfinger (two members dead by suicide after their finance guy managed to fuck up their record deals), that's kind of a dark crack on the part of Miller.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Derelict6:39 PM

    Ouch!

    ReplyDelete
  106. smut clyde6:43 PM

    I had been wondering for a while whether Helmut was a platypus or an echidna. Now I have seen the gravatar and I can finally sleep.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Jay B.6:46 PM

    A couple of things cross my mind about that anecdote.


    One: Why would anyone ask Dennis Miller about Oasis?
    Two: He was wrong. Oasis was massive for about a decade, sold just a million fewer records in the UK than did the Stones, and, even if I don't like them, they were closer to the Beatles in terms of popularity than Badfinger ever was.

    ReplyDelete
  108. …which is central to my point.

    ReplyDelete
  109. …which is central to my…

    ReplyDelete
  110. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume7:02 PM

    I was reading the comments under a local news article about this (yeah I know, bad idea), and one of them simply said "Well, time to boycott Seattle!". No attempt at an explanation, no argument. Just a lot of high-fives from other wingnuts.

    So yeah, a pretty concise summary of where wingnut "thought" is at.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Another Kiwi7:13 PM

    Can never get enough brain samples to make it statistically significant.

    ReplyDelete
  112. redoubtagain7:19 PM

    That's if the android Asian carp don't take completely over first.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Ellis_Weiner7:20 PM

    If you're validating "pickled," why not "a crock of pickled dicks"?

    ReplyDelete
  114. Gromet7:26 PM

    "I can't use allrecipes.com or Zillow anymore -- they're based in Seattle and we need to stop the spread of fascism." -- Idiots

    ReplyDelete
  115. mgmonklewis7:29 PM

    "Paid sick days" now often mean PTO, or Personal Time Off, which is all vacation, sick days, and sometimes other absences rolled into one. Where I work, after the last takeover/merger, they lumped sick days and vacation into one category of PTO and reduced the number of days. So, if you don't want to lose vacation days, don't take a sick day. Just come to work and spread your flu around. Efficiency, big business style!

    ReplyDelete
  116. mgmonklewis7:30 PM

    Bonus points for Gatorbutt, LA. Much nicer neighborhood than RatsAss, MO.

    ReplyDelete
  117. mgmonklewis7:32 PM

    I know, right? What gets into some species, anyway? This is why we can't have nice things.

    ReplyDelete
  118. glennisw7:38 PM

    Good, keep him out of Seattle. And LA.

    ReplyDelete
  119. mgmonklewis7:40 PM

    The Inland Empire is hunkering down. Coeur d'Alene, Lewiston, and Walla Walla are on high alert.

    ReplyDelete
  120. mgmonklewis7:42 PM

    Oh, I'd notice. It would be noticeably quieter sans the constant sour, pointless bitching.

    ReplyDelete
  121. glennisw7:43 PM

    Sshhhhh! The secret of Seattle we never want to tell anyone is that the weather's great there!

    ReplyDelete
  122. glennisw7:45 PM

    Who eats at McDonald's in Seattle, when you can eat at Dicks?

    ReplyDelete
  123. Giant Monster Gamera7:50 PM

    The article comments in Seattle's newspapers are usually filled with similar remarks whenever a local issue is discussed - especially gay issues. Unfortunately, I haven't noticed any drop in traffic into the city and I'll bet that if they were to come into town, 7-11 would still be fully stocked with enough Cheez Combos and Bud Light Lime to guarantee a good time.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Ellis_Weiner8:00 PM

    I want to be this comment's press agent so it can become known--to the people who *matter.*

    ReplyDelete
  125. Ellis_Weiner8:08 PM

    His "anyone" isn't even stage patter. It's a learned "clever"-ism he picked up from reading other hacks. Ten years ago it would have been "Did somebody say 'Los Angeles'?" or, worse, "Can you say 'Los Angeles'?" He's got a million of 'em.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Ellis_Weiner8:09 PM

    What makes you think he'd recognize that? It's Dunning-Kruger all the way down.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Chocolate Covered Cotton8:15 PM

    How about the 50 year old machinist who gets laid off and has to collect unemployment? The only thing these fuckers can say is, go flip burgers or something, moocher. They blame people for being reluctant to take a menial job for a fraction of their former wages. Now they blame people who have no choice but to do just that. Jesus, I hate conservatives.

    ReplyDelete
  128. They never got that "nobody goes there, it's too crowded" is a joke.

    ReplyDelete
  129. M. Krebs8:28 PM

    Was Yogi Berra joking? I'm not sure.

    ReplyDelete
  130. M. Krebs8:37 PM

    Really? Seven years? By then it will be time for another increase.

    ReplyDelete
  131. I notice that a lot of decent sized cities are left off that list, it's just the largest 23. I'll bet that you could divide up that big blue field with the next 23 largest cities (including Cleveland,Pittsburg, Tucson, Sacramento, Las Vegas, Orlando, Tampa, Spokane, Des Moines, Indianapolis, Santa Fe, New Orleans, Buffalo, etc.) and you'd find a similarly lopsided distribution. That is, I'm sure that the half of GDP generated outside those red zones is mostly in cities as well.

    ReplyDelete
  132. M. Krebs8:40 PM

    It's the perfect climate for MOSS! I want to live there, in a house covered with moss, and I would cover the entire yard with moss. Who doesn't love moss?

    ReplyDelete
  133. Derelict8:45 PM

    Oh, I think there's already plenty of dick jerky in Rightwing Land.

    ReplyDelete
  134. M. Krebs8:50 PM

    Aren't they the group behind Luminosity?

    ReplyDelete
  135. M. Krebs8:53 PM

    Color it with a continuous spectrum between red and blue, and you'll have the same map we all saw of the 2012 presidential election.

    ReplyDelete
  136. RHWombat8:54 PM

    So...platipodes have only one spike (3 if male)?

    ReplyDelete
  137. M. Krebs9:05 PM

    May I take this comment to lunch at a local taqueria?

    ReplyDelete
  138. M. Krebs9:07 PM

    Or some dickhead who lives in a gated community 100 miles away.

    ReplyDelete
  139. M. Krebs9:14 PM

    Wa-wait. Did two people just post the last two comments almost simultaneously?

    ReplyDelete
  140. M. Krebs9:16 PM

    Plus Badfinger was fucking great.

    ReplyDelete
  141. M. Krebs9:26 PM

    I wonder if they're ready to boycott Microsoft. That's Redmond, I know, but still.

    ReplyDelete
  142. I'd like to go foraging for wild asparagus with this comment.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Well, at least TWO of those jobs, in many cases.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Spaghetti Lee9:40 PM

    Perhaps they heard it and mistook it for serious policy advice.

    ReplyDelete
  145. You assume that Mssrs. Koch would not pay their broadband bills for them. Which is, IMO, a mistake.

    ReplyDelete
  146. M. Krebs9:43 PM

    Exactly. It's the same old bullshit about foregoing an opportunity to make a million bucks just because you have to pay 30% of it in taxes. No sane person would ever do it.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Spaghetti Lee9:44 PM

    I've actually wondered about that-if in 30 years or whatever the Midwest will be the dominant part of the country because of all our fresh water. Maybe I'm just biased because I wouldn't live in Arizona if you paid me: it's like living in a giant oven.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Spaghetti Lee9:45 PM

    Well, what else is new.

    ReplyDelete
  149. On Bill Gates: "This guy's just a Persian cat and a monocle away from being a Bond villain." --during the browser antitrust wars.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Spaghetti Lee9:48 PM

    What was that, like from the 70's? Yeah, Seattle's really withered away since then.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Spaghetti Lee9:49 PM

    Every big city newspaper comment section is filled with people who hate the city in question, and arguably the whole state. It's a law as immutable as gravity.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Spaghetti Lee9:50 PM

    I think I might have to live in the north my whole life because I don't know if I could take living in a place where they literally shut down every highway and every public school for 1 inch of snow.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Magatha10:06 PM

    Oh, Elisabeth.

    ReplyDelete
  154. May they all take turns sucking Satan's barbed and scaly cock in Hell.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Thats so sweet of you, Tguerrant. I'm really touched.

    ReplyDelete
  156. JennOfArk10:47 PM

    You clearly aren't old enough yet to appreciate the many joys of an unexpected day off. Snow days are one of the very best things about living in the south.

    ReplyDelete
  157. What's consistent in it s the cruelty, callousness and spite. Which they believe are the virtues of winners.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Psst, Aimai! Beware! That book TGuerrant's family has, To Serve Aimai? It's a guide to how best to wait on you at the dining table.

    ReplyDelete
  159. JennOfArk10:50 PM

    Maybe a bag of "whipped dicks" can stand in for the salted dicks upthread.

    ReplyDelete
  160. For some reason, I'm now thinking of Peter Piper in a whole different light.

    ReplyDelete
  161. You mean I was really touched by her tentacles? That explains a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  162. FMguru11:14 PM

    These are the same people, remember, that treat stories of people moving away from SF and NYC because they just can't afford the rent as proof that people are fleeing liberal fascism and economic ruin. In reality, of course, rents are so high in those cities because so many people - including many rich people - want to live there and they bid up the prices of the limited supply of housing. It's like citing people deciding to eat somewhere else because there's a two-hour wait for a table as proof that a restaurant is dying.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Interesting too that they found a cleaning lady who allegedly had
    a "401k, health insurance, paid holiday, and vacation" only to see it
    see it ruined by the high-minimum-wage commissars.


    "Ruined," past tense? If she's employed by a cleaning company with fewer than 500 employees, why are they jumping the gun on a minimum wage hike that will take five years to phase in? If she's employed by a cleaning company with more than 500 employees, and they offer that sort of benefit package, why the fuck are they paying so close to minimum wage in the first place? I'm sorry, I'm going to have to be a little more skeptical of Reason than usual; I don't think they sourced this with their usual care.

    ReplyDelete
  164. AGoodQuestion11:27 PM

    Your Herb Tarlek, as it were?

    ReplyDelete
  165. tigrismus11:31 PM

    Oh the comments at that Reason piece. One guy says how a "socialist" city councilman would be in prison if the country were run properly, and down a little ways it's the lefties who are all gung-ho on imprisoning their political adversaries.

    ReplyDelete
  166. AGoodQuestion11:34 PM

    "To know and not know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies," and so on and so forth. Doublethink never goes out of style.

    ReplyDelete
  167. AGoodQuestion11:45 PM

    Yeah, if year-round-summer is your thing, the list of cities with supposedly ruinous liberal economic policies gets pretty damn short after LA. Seattle has basically the same weather advantages of New York and Boston.

    ReplyDelete
  168. M. Krebs12:04 AM

    Ignorance, without the bliss.

    ReplyDelete
  169. AGoodQuestion12:04 AM

    I don't think they sourced this with their usual care.

    Oh, I don't know.

    ReplyDelete
  170. AGoodQuestion12:09 AM

    Looked up Kruiser on imdb. He seems to have racked up a bunch of guest appearances on Redeye and not mu

    ReplyDelete
  171. Yosemite Semite12:59 AM

    The conservatarian approach on raising the minimum wage is that it will reduce jobs. So lowering the minimum wage should increase jobs, right? And wouldn't reducing the minimum wage to zero create the maximum number of jobs? Oh, no, wait, we tried that once, and had a big dust-up about it around 1860 or so, if memory serves.

    ReplyDelete
  172. No discussion...


    That's right. If you leave out two decades or so's worth of radio call-in shows, countless editorials and op-eds, think tank papers, economists' studies, post-graduate dissertations, internet comment sections, there's never any discussion of minimum wage laws.

    ReplyDelete
  173. The problem with the economy is that the entry level jobs have short lifespans- rather than promoting the kid who's flipping burgers, they'll lay him off after six months, take a government subsidy for "training" the next kid, and so it goes.

    ReplyDelete
  174. To be fair, he was a little testy when he wrote that. What with the single, slow clap still ringing in his head.

    ReplyDelete
  175. ColBatGuano2:56 AM

    I am truly concerned I won't be able to purchase a Dick's burger as they all flee to Bellevue. I'll only have Red Mill to fall back on. Or Lil Woody's.

    ReplyDelete
  176. ColBatGuano3:00 AM

    I've already put my home on the market so I can move to the capitalist nirvana that is Redmond.

    ReplyDelete
  177. ColBatGuano3:14 AM

    Our 4.8% unemployment is going to skyrocket when this fully takes effect in 2020.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Ya gotta love the moronitude that assumes a $15/hour wage means $15 burgers. Apparently they think a fry cook makes exactly one burger per hour.

    ReplyDelete
  179. davdoodles6:32 AM

    "Because they want to drive as many people as they can into financial hell."

    Methinks this weirdo doth project too much.
    .

    ReplyDelete
  180. Yes, there are some employers who are probably saying to themselves: "One day we'll get robots who can replace those minimum wage workers entirely! That'll show 'em."


    That truly is a revenge fantasy. But revenge for what? Holding their heads upright and asking for a little dignity?

    ReplyDelete
  181. Like the joke about how the Rapture already happened. All the true, pure-hearted, all-loving followers of Christ were taken directly to heaven. But it was only about a dozen people worldwide so nobody noticed.

    ReplyDelete
  182. This guy apparently sees himself as the next Dennis Miller. Hm-m, Dennis Miller, has-been, hates hippies. On the other hand, George Carlin, legend, was a hippie. No brainer? Only if you have no brains.

    ReplyDelete
  183. Emily687:53 AM

    David Goldstein, aka Goldy, aka Seattle best blogger, was interviewed by Ben Shapiro about the vote at Seattle's City Hall and the $15 minimum wage in general. http://horsesass.org/radio-goldy-ben-shapiro-and-i-talk-minimum-wage/#comments

    ReplyDelete
  184. Derelict7:59 AM

    But the poor aren't poor! They get all those goodies from the government--housing assistance, food stamps, Medicaid, Obama phones, free cheese. And poor Black people have it even better with their secret additional benefits (which include free Cadillacs, T-bone steaks, flat-screen TVs, and as much cheap-ass malt liquor as one can consume).

    That's why we have to eliminate the minimum wage: If we don't, then everyone will want to be poor and Black.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Derelict8:09 AM

    Some of us remember when President McCain was campaigning and spoke to a room full of unemployed white men in his home state. The subject of migrant labor came up, and McCain made a remark about how nobody would want to pick lettuce for $50 an hour. The men in the room replied almost in unison that they most certainly would pick lettuce for that kind of pay. All McCain could say was "No, you wouldn't," and then change the subject.

    ReplyDelete
  186. smut clyde8:24 AM

    Let me tell you about echidna spikes.

    ReplyDelete
  187. tigrismus8:41 AM

    Dear, sweet Laffer Curve, is there no problem you can't solve?

    ReplyDelete
  188. They think the rich can skip the part where the poor person gets the dollar through the only forms of government assistance they find acceptable - Corporate bankruptcy, bailouts and taxing the 100 remaining members of the middle class.

    ReplyDelete
  189. Jeffrey_Kramer8:48 AM

    Clearly the Biblical formula for a Christian employer would be "a quart of wheat for a day's wages" (Revelation 6:6). Making him pay any more would be a violation of religious freedom.

    ReplyDelete
  190. So congrats on not being an asshole boss, but it certainly doesn't change the fact that tons of small business owners are power-hungry assholes who treat their employees like shit because they can rather than just for financial reasons.


    The capitalist-worker relationship doesn't become less exploitative just because there's less money involved or no golden arches above your door.

    ReplyDelete
  191. glennisw8:55 AM

    Indeed, since the law just kicked in now, that cleaning service was certainly mighty in tune with current events, wasn't it? Why, it's almost as if it were...made up for the story,

    ReplyDelete
  192. Jeffrey_Kramer8:57 AM

    You see? That just shows how badly they're trying to ram it down our throats!

    ReplyDelete
  193. Its always a revenge fantasy. Whether they are stamping their feet and threatening to go Galt, or whether they are insinuating that you will be sorry you dissed them with your feminism or your high wages or your voting while black because of a violent backlash against you its always about revenge. Sometimes its the hand of god punishing you, sometimes its god's substitute on earth the free market, sometimes its "the terrorists," or "the criminals" or AIDS or "atheists withouten (sic) any morals"but the impudence of liberals, women, minorities, or children demanding rights will always be punished and the righteous will get their chance to rejoice.

    ReplyDelete
  194. All McCain could say was "No, you wouldn't,"

    Technically, all he could say was "You can't do it, my friends," which I find funnier for some reason.

    ReplyDelete
  195. Or, as one of the Rules of Acquisition of the fictional Ferenghi puts it:

    "Treat people in your debt like family.....exploit them."

    ReplyDelete
  196. Yesssss...funnier....but not in the way the word is usually used.

    ReplyDelete
  197. And presumably ditto for the mentally handicapped. There are (possibly) some costs associated with employing non neurotypical or otherwise disabled persons but very often those costs are subsidized or handled by the state from the get go. And a disabled adult doesn't need or deserve lower pay than a regular adult. Disabled adults need rent money, food money, retirement money--they may have families to support.

    ReplyDelete
  198. Halloween_Jack9:37 AM

    Somewhat lessened by people stripping supermarkets of milk and bread in anticipation of the microblizzard.

    ReplyDelete