Friday, March 28, 2014

WE DO IT FOR THE KIDS.

Nick Gillespie, the fighting libertarian priest who can talk to kids, has a new angle from which to spray youth appeal on his Koch-funded causes:
Based on the first volume of a wildly popular young-adult trilogy, Divergent is set in America of the near-future, when all people are irrevocably slotted into one of five “factions” based on temperament and personality type. Those who refuse to go along with the program are marked as divergent—and marked for death! “What Makes You Different, Makes You Dangerous,” reads one of the story’s taglines. 
Which pretty much sums up Rand Paul...
Ha ha ha ha... wait, no, he's not kidding. Divergent is wow and Paul will be wow too, because 1.) "Paul is showing strongly in polls about the GOP presidential nomination in 2016," which is about as attractive a recommendation as "it's one of pedophiles' favorite child-lures," and 2.) The kids are waving the Gadsden Flag and don't know it yet:
Millennials are "unmoored from institutions," gasped Pew Research recently. There’s every reason to believe that large swaths of the country are ready to shake off the politics of exhaustion and move toward a future that is different from the past.
"A future that is different from the past" -- surely that must be the grim, Pay-or-Die dystopia Paul promises! And if that doesn't convince, hang on, Gillespie's talking in blockbuster tongues again:
“I don't want to be just one thing,” explains one of the protagonists in Divergent. “I can't be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind.” If anything explains Rand Paul’s rising profile, it’s precisely his ability to be more than just one thing—a social conservative, a civil libertarian, a budget cutter, a decentralizer, and more.
If only Veronica Roth had thought of using "virtuously selfish" instead of that socialistic "selfless"  -- well, who cares: any teen-angst drama will do for a libertarian mash-up in Gillespie's hands; last year he was trying this same shtick with The Hunger Games. Maybe he should collaborate with the guy from American Enterprise Institute who did "Greatest Conservative Rap Songs of All Time." Or maybe just pick some cool band -- how about Fucked Up? "he's the back without the bone/The king sits on a crooked throne..." That's gotta be Obama, right? Plus Damian Abraham was on Red Eye with Greg Gutfield. The future will be ours! 

UPDATE. "'I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind'... Wow. Even in a random string of adjectives describing normal people, Rand Paul goes 0 for 5," says mortimer2000 in comments. The tigrismus version: "In a world where people are sorted based on a personality test, one man fails it."

217 comments:

  1. GeniusLemur11:29 AM

    Corrected version:
    "” If anything explains Rand Paul’s rising profile, it’s precisely his
    ability to be more than just one thing— a [standard-issue right-wing jackass], a [standard-issue right-wing jackass], a [standard-issue right-wing jackass], a [standard-issue right-wing jackass], and [standard-issue right-wing jackass]."

    ReplyDelete
  2. glennisw11:37 AM

    Millennials are "unmoored from institutions," gasped Pew Research recently.
    Pew Research "gasped"? I guess if corporations are people, Research organizations can be drama queens.

    ReplyDelete
  3. glennisw11:40 AM

    Rand Paul's going to be the nominee because young teens like sci-fi? Talk about grasping at straws.
    And the "future is different from the past" - profound!

    ReplyDelete
  4. "it’s precisely his ability to be more than just one thing—a social conservative, a civil libertarian, a budget cutter, a decentralizer, and more."

    In today's party system three of these things are the same thing and one of these things is antithetical to one the others. I guess "divergent" means throwing a bone to the anti-abortion crowd to keep your "libertarian" ass from being primaried.

    ReplyDelete
  5. T. Bagger11:53 AM

    The Rand Revolution has already begun, libs. Who do you think is responsible for the pro-marijuana legalization messages blooming on conservative Facebook pages across our nation? Armed with wedge issues like these, the GOP, led by the rad Rand, will easily sweep up the votes of America's credulous and drug-addled youth! Quail before the power of Rand, smug, out-of-touch liberal fossils!

    ReplyDelete
  6. DocAmazing12:00 PM

    Reminds me of the line from The Blues Brothers : "We play both kinds of music--country and western."

    ReplyDelete
  7. tigrismus12:01 PM

    Actually, Rand Paul might be a fun addition to a Divergent-type story: "In a world where people are sorted based on a personality test, one man fails it."

    ReplyDelete
  8. susanoftexas12:08 PM

    The Wizard of Oz pretty much sums up Rand Paul. He's the man behind the curtain of wealthy men, pulling levers and blowing smoke.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Halloween_Jack12:10 PM

    Oh, FFS. Divergent is "wildly popular" because this time of year is the Dead Zone for movies--post-Oscars, pre-pre-summer movie season (the official beginning of the pre-summer movie season is exactly one week from now, when the new Captain America movie comes out, featuring, fuck me, Robert Redford)--and it will be a little while before the next Hunger Games movie comes out, since Jennifer Lawrence has weightier work to do, such as the next X-Men movie (also with the dystopian future). It did do very decent box office, but whether or not the franchise has real legs remains to be seen, and at any rate it's more than ludicrous for a 50-year-old blogger to compare a 51-year-old senator to teen rebels by any measure, even if both Gillespie and Paul are emotionally still in their tweens.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Possible, but I'm not sure "You'd have to be high off your ass to vote for me!" is such a great campaign slogan.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jay B.12:17 PM

    "I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind.” If anything explains Rand Paul’s rising profile, it’s precisely his ability to be more than just one thing


    Yes, just not any of those things.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Paul Comeau12:18 PM

    It's like he doesn't know the definition of dystopian...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sounds like a winner; between the weed and Gillespie's leather jacket, I don't see a downside. All they need to do is get a few million stoners off the couch, and utterly obscure Paul's actual record, and it's White House here we come!

    ReplyDelete
  14. mortimer200012:20 PM

    "I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind."

    Wow. Even in a random string of adjectives describing normal people, Rand Paul bats 0 for 5.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The more things change, the more things have to listen to rightwing boilerplate awkwardly garbed in RNC-approved youth appeal.

    ReplyDelete
  16. glennisw12:25 PM

    There are so many popular "dystopian future" books, films and TV shows, you can pretty much pick any one of them to make some tenuous link to whatever political boiler-plate assertion ("Rand Paul will give us Republicans our turn, you libs!") you want.

    ReplyDelete
  17. "Dude, have you ever looked at a ballot slip? I mean really looked at it?"


    "Just put it in the box, if you wouldn't mind. There are people waiting."

    ReplyDelete
  18. I would like to treat this comment like a Rocky Horror Theme night and throw stuff at it, in admiration and hommage.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Maybe he thinks the point of a Rand Paul's candidacy is to bring about a dystopia? If so I kind of agree.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Red_cted12:42 PM

    And if there's anything you can count on in YA literature and Libertarian talk it's stilted dialog.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps1:05 PM

    There’s every reason to believe that large swaths of the country are
    ready to shake off the politics of exhaustion and move toward a future
    that is different from the past.


    ... and they'll express this by lining up to join the pro-"weed (except for black people) and privacy (except for Muslims)" party which is essentially the rump wing of the party that's defiantly stuck in 1960?

    ReplyDelete
  22. People who throw around terms like RINO and drum the insufficiently fervent from the movement should not use the tag line "what makes you different makes you dangerous ".

    ReplyDelete
  23. bekabot1:10 PM

    Never mind about the gaspiness — this is an Ass Clown Statement overall. Millennials weren't born unmoored from institutions and they didn't "just turn out to be" unmoored from institutions (the way Topsy just grew); what happened (instead) is that they came of age at the exact historical moment at which great swathes of the American public were being palpably, bodily, visibly thrown out of the institutions they had grown up with. The signature Millennial experience is that of being evicted; that's what Millennials know about life; that's their conception of the way the world works.

    I can see where the likes of Rand Paul and Gillespie might want to take advantage of that — it's the equivalent of buying up a bunch of mortgages and throwing a bunch of poor sons-of-guns out into the street, then approaching them with a pity-party expression on your face and then ushering them into a dump where there's lots of discarded lumber and other crap and letting them know that you've made some kind of a provision for them after all. "Here's everything you need," GillesPaul will say, "and more important, understand that it is all you'll get. Build your houses out of these materials and erect them on this ground. That's the way to prove your ingenuity, that you've got some good American can-do spirit, that you're not whiners or complainers, and that the bloody-footed soldiers at Valley Forge didn't get their butts shot off in vain."

    (Then, of course, you charge your marks for the building materials and the use of the site. That's the punch line."

    ReplyDelete
  24. Rand Paul a decentralizer? Is there a body of Paul sponsored antitrust legislation that I've missed?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Jay B.1:13 PM

    It's usually the last place you left it.

    ReplyDelete
  26. That thing on the top of his head would be named dictator.

    ReplyDelete
  27. move toward a future that is different from the past.

    Unless you're living in the ending of an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel, this would seem to be a fairly likely outcome regardless.

    a social conservative, a civil libertarian

    One of these things was necessary for him to get elected senator from Kentucky, and is also the only way he'd have a chance in the GOP presidential primaries. And Rand knows it, which is why he doesn't meet with civil libertarian groups on his trips to Iowa, but licks authoritarian theocrat asses instead.

    a decentralizer


    Yeah, God damn the day the Establishment Clause was federalized. And don't get him started again about all that intrusive "federal civil rights legislation," or "full faith and credit for same-sex marriage" stuff. Wait, is that a federal Personhood for Zygotes bill he's sponsoring? ... Hey, look over there, it's Jennifer Lawrence!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Mr. Natural1:39 PM

    If you meet The Aqua Buddha on the road, grill him.


    "Senator Rand, when did you stop kidnapping college women?"

    ReplyDelete
  29. XeckyGilchrist1:43 PM

    Somehow I'm reminded of the blind men and the elephant.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Susan why is your avatar a cookie? Isn't there some great E. Lear drawing that would suit you better?

    ReplyDelete
  31. BigHank531:57 PM

    I laughed until I thought about how much Thorazine they'd have to pump into the poor guy who touched his 'hair'.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Matt Jones2:03 PM

    "“I don't want to be just one thing,” explains one of the protagonists in Divergent. “I can't be."


    Annnnnd cue the GOP misogyny / homophobia / transphobia / non-Christian-phobia / women-working-outside-the-home-phobia / brown-people-thinking-they-are-people-phobia Wurlitzer. Yep, they sure do love them some people who color outside the lines... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Poor Nick thinks that a series of YA books will make "the kids" fall in love with Rand Paul? He's setting himself up for a heartbreak- not even the wild popularity of Twilight" could get young people to vote for a sparkly Mormon vampire.

    ReplyDelete
  34. They just hate people who line outside the color.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Like cronyist hypocrites like eddie care about kids? He supports DiBlasio who is trying to destroy opportunities for minority children to attain better education. He'd rather suck up to big government. He does NOT have your best interests at heart. Stop falling for this sad, small, spiteful little con man.



    http://nypost.com/2013/09/24/parents-to-rally-against-de-blasios-charter-
    school-attacks/

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hey, keep posting completely irrelevant comments. You're totally going to win us over.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Dr. Hunky Jimpjorps2:09 PM

    First, charter schools aren't "better education". They game their numbers and ruthlessly trim their rosters to keep churning out high test scores.


    Second, who is eddie?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Sorry, numb nuts, charter co-location is a theft from the public school system to line the pockets of charter holders. You'll have to do better if you want to troll here.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Isn't "decentralize" the new market-tested euphemism for "privatize"?

    ReplyDelete
  40. I think he means the zombie on the Iron Maiden album covers.

    ReplyDelete
  41. hellslittlestangel2:12 PM

    "There’s every reason to believe that large swaths of the country are
    ready to shake off the politics of exhaustion and move toward a future
    that is different from the past."



    And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I didn't update my Newspeak dictionary.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I'm not even sure what "wildly popular" means in terms of YA dystopian novel series anymore. There's such a glut of the damn things that many agents and publishers are turning them away on principle alone. Sounds more like a case of Hollywood dualing rather than any sort of grand statement from the youngs.


    Yes, I realize that I'm missing the point. Given that Gillespie's point is "recent movie means that we're totally going to own the future," I thought maybe we should introduce a better point.

    ReplyDelete
  44. edroso2:15 PM

    Hello again, Rob! Dropped the traditional reference to jokes as "non-sequiturs," I see. Did someone explain the gags to you?

    ReplyDelete
  45. tigrismus2:18 PM

    I don't care if it is the smart one in the partnership, a pot-scrubber can't be made dictator!

    ReplyDelete
  46. tigrismus2:20 PM

    Oh, he's totally for decentralizing medical certification boards!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Jay B.2:20 PM

    Minority kids like his kids? And when did you give a fuck about minority kids? And charging rent to a charter school seems fair. And you are still an idiot.


    Also, it's not a con if someone actually states his preferences and explains why he feels that way.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Ellis_Weiner2:20 PM

    Well, there's every reason to believe so, anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Howlin Wolfe2:22 PM

    More like "the blind men and the standard issue righ-wing jackass" - they all agree!

    ReplyDelete
  50. GeniusLemur2:22 PM

    No, it means, "leave it to the states, because we're not in control at the federal level."

    ReplyDelete
  51. GeniusLemur2:22 PM

    not their teens, their terrible twos.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Spaghetti Lee2:27 PM

    "(Work of fiction) is a chilling allegory for (political situation), because (hero) is (good qualities) just like (GOP politician), while (villain) is (bad qualities), like (Obama). And don't think young voters aren't paying attention."


    Done. Gimme Gillespie's job, Reason.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Spaghetti Lee2:30 PM

    You don't have to be, but it helps.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Spaghetti Lee2:33 PM

    "Most people don't know this, but we have a sixth sector, named Duplicitous. I think you'll fit right in."

    ReplyDelete
  55. And, in the end, they don't even get the high test scores. Charter schools do no better than public schools, overall. And many of them simply pack up shop and close when they are called to account.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Also? DiBlasio? Not a small man. Just FYI.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Maybe if there had been some actual sparkle.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Jimcima2:55 PM

    Prior to joining Reason, Gillespie worked at a number of small trade
    magazines and other journalistic outlets. He worked for several years at
    Teen Machine magazine, where he interviewed celebrities and ghost-wrote an advice column for actress Alyssa Milano.



    This is all fun and games and everything but what if at long last Mr. Gillespie decides to Go Galt? Who then who will speak for Alyssa Milano?


    These are the deep imponderables you statists just refuse to address.

    ReplyDelete
  59. smut clyde2:56 PM

    Reminds me more of Groucho. "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."

    ReplyDelete
  60. And charging rent to a charter school seems fair.


    Positively market-based and anti-moocher, in fact. Let them compete without additional government susbsidies, if they want to demonstrate their superiority to the big government version.

    ReplyDelete
  61. whetstone3:00 PM

    If anything explains Rand Paul’s rising profile, it’s precisely his
    ability to be more than just one thing—a social conservative, a civil
    libertarian




    He's a floor wax, and a dessert topping caustic acid that destroys your floor.

    ReplyDelete
  62. The vampirism was real enough.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Oh, hello to you, too, Mr. roso. May I call you "ed"?

    (That's the only thing I can think of to explain "eddie" that is even remotely complimentary to Rob's literacy skills.)

    ReplyDelete
  64. smut clyde3:12 PM

    If anything explains Rand Paul’s rising profile, it’s precisely his
    ability to be more than just one thing—a social conservative, a civil
    libertarian, a budget cutter, a decentralizer, and more.

    The level of dishonesty involved in presenting yourself as an entirely different person depending on your audience, with diametrically opposite ideals and policies, is so new to politics. It's bound to be a winner, at least among the Otherkin / multiple-personality demographic.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Ah, isn't it nice when a windbag dressed up as a "pundit" lets their fatal attraction for a pol reach such, er, sploogy proportions? I mean, this little
    mash note gives even Starburst Lowry and his Palin Pullin’ a stroke for the
    money.

    (By the way, Mr. Gulpsie, the official movie sponsor for the 2016 GOP Primary is Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.)

    ReplyDelete
  66. I like that it was the fucking pull quote, fercrissakes. Not only fine writin', but stellar desigin' 'en editin', too!

    ReplyDelete
  67. Who then who will speak for Alyssa Milano?

    The Major League Baseball Players Association, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Shakezula3:37 PM

    a future that is different from the past.


    The choices are endless! There's the free market dystopia where caveat emptor is branded on our forearms at birth. There's post-nuclear hellscape, there the soylent green option, the Parable of the Sower futre (where potable water is to die for) or some other sort of blighted environment future. Or maybe we could have Road Warrior where you have to maintain your own road!


    Who wouldn't want that?

    ReplyDelete
  69. Bethany Spencer3:38 PM

    What about a patch of pubic hair?

    ReplyDelete
  70. PersonaAuGratin3:39 PM

    There's the free market dystopia where caveat emptor is branded on our forearms at birth.

    I hear tattoos are all the rage with kids these days.

    ReplyDelete
  71. PersonaAuGratin3:54 PM

    I would bet that there is at least one HR department in the Koch empire that is using Myers-Briggs or some such device to "sort" people.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Making a patch of pubic hair into a dictator sounds downright un-Amerkin to me.

    ReplyDelete
  73. "There's thousands of different kinds of hells. You got your fire hell, your ice hell, your...ice hell, uh...upside down hell..."

    ReplyDelete
  74. satch4:18 PM

    Given our experiences here in MA with Romney, who got himself elected governor as a "Fiscal Conservative/Social Moderate" and then jettisoned the "Social Moderate" thing five minutes after taking the oath of office, there is no current "Libertarian" that I would trust as far as I could throw him, including tiny little Rand who could star in a dwarf bowling league. And I do apologize for the overuse of scare quotes, but it's becoming impossible to describe conservative "ideas" or "principles" without them.

    ReplyDelete
  75. smut clyde4:18 PM

    I thought "Mer-kin" was the PC way of referring to our amphibious batrachian colleagues from Innsmouth.

    ReplyDelete
  76. LittlePig4:24 PM

    you charge your marks

    That, detective, is the right question.

    ReplyDelete
  77. susanoftexas4:25 PM

    Heh, a friend uses the cookie so using it reminds me of her.

    But I have been thinking of changing it---.

    ReplyDelete
  78. satch4:26 PM

    Speaking of meatballs, after watching some of the Chris Christie's performance in today's press conference and considering that his hand picked investigative team cleared him of wrongdoing, I'd have to say that, unless David Wildstein or Bridget Kelly come up with something sensational, the Christie Train is back on the tracks.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Bethany Spencer4:28 PM

    Make a patch of pubic hair into a pot scrubber and you can call it "upcycling" and sell it upper-middle-class white assholes like me for a mint.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Bethany Spencer4:29 PM

    All references to Futurama get automatic up votes.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Bethany Spencer4:30 PM

    I know. It's really funny, It's like going "I listen to all kinds of stuff--you should see my record collection. I've got country, I've got western and country-western."

    ReplyDelete
  82. Bethany Spencer4:34 PM

    I think the thing that bugs me most about this is that there is just NOT ONE SHRED OF MEAT here. It's just a bunch of inanities strung together. It's bunch of words that aren't actually functioning together to really communicate what the author wants to say, which is, really "Young people are gettable; we can sell them on conservative causes."


    "Unmoored from institutions" doesn't really mean ANYTHING. And a "future that's different from the past?" Well, I have to take the Nick Gillespie route here because...I have no words... *shakes head*

    ReplyDelete
  83. Charter schools are grifts. And a plot to bust unions.

    Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

    ReplyDelete
  84. glennisw4:42 PM

    It ain't the investigation that matters. There's a fed investigation and the legislature's. Don't tear up your ticket yet.
    The fact that Christie just threw Kelly under the bus and slut-shamed her is going to make a change in her motivation.

    ReplyDelete
  85. coozledad4:44 PM

    There is a moment where the future and the past meet. And that moment is the present. If we want a better future we have got to have a good present, and the best hope for a good present is a good past. Only few men have the hair that sets them apart, unmoors them from the bad institutions past. A past filled with moors. This is good hair, if different hair. it is the hair the youngs will have once they stop having it on their face. The end.


    -Nick Gillespie.

    ReplyDelete
  86. glennisw4:45 PM

    Cronyist? That's some mighty fine wordsmithing there.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Helmut Monotreme4:47 PM

    "large swaths of the country" are inhabited by tumbleweeds, windmills and fracking rigs. He can get back to us, when he can say "a majority of the electorate".

    ReplyDelete
  88. Hattie4:47 PM

    Wow. Another "wildly popular" wingnut book I have never heard of.

    ReplyDelete
  89. KatWillow4:55 PM

    Why give them a nice healthy dump, full of old cars & refrigerators (just waiting to me mined one day) and bubbling with nice, useful methane.... allow the dispossessed to live in toxic waste sites, like the coal-ash mountains the Kocks own.

    ReplyDelete
  90. KatWillow4:57 PM

    I have to say, I don't know any teens who'd make that comment either. Mostly its "I wanna new iPad".

    ReplyDelete
  91. KatWillow4:59 PM

    I don't know how I'd manage without "scare quotes" and elipsis... and then there's italics and bolding. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  92. KatWillow5:08 PM

    When I was a kid in the 60s the SciFi dystopian books all had "muties": mutants born different because of radiation, and usually possessing interesting powers, teleportation, mind reading, giant heads with giant brains that ruled the world... when really young (late 50s early 60s) I loved Princess books. The more things change the more they change.

    ReplyDelete
  93. DocAmazing5:17 PM

    If you don't give them a dump, they might well take a dump.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Howlin Wolfe5:19 PM

    Eddie Munster, maybe? Nah, he's too busy trying to starve yer gramma.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Daniel Björkman5:24 PM

    It's not actually a wingnut book in any serious way, just a teenage-angst book. Wingnuts do behave like angsty teenagers a lot of the time, but if there was an actual political message in Divergent beyond a general "yeah, fight the power, man!" I missed it completely.

    ReplyDelete
  96. FMguru5:26 PM

    "Oh, we got both kinds of music here - country AND western!"



    God bless The Blues Brothers

    ReplyDelete
  97. Daniel Björkman5:27 PM

    Yeah, that as my first thought too. "Don't all those things usually come together?"

    ReplyDelete
  98. M. Krebs5:35 PM

    I failed a Rorschach test once. No joke. Came up blank on every picture.

    ReplyDelete
  99. I disagree. I think the best part of the whole Bridgegate scandal is that it's shone a very bright light on Christie's methods and machinations, and they ain't pretty under any light.

    I hope he does throw his hat in the ring, however. The more meatballs the better, and 2016 needs lots of meatballs to surpass the glorious free entertainment that was the 2012 GOP primary.

    ReplyDelete
  100. TGuerrant6:34 PM

    Today In Dog Whistling: The UnMoors vs. The Moors

    http://s27.postimg.org/mkf97rkkz/moors_19674_lg.gif

    ReplyDelete
  101. TGuerrant6:37 PM

    His rising profile is explained by his lengthening nose.

    ReplyDelete
  102. TGuerrant6:41 PM

    Ms. Milano's Wikipedia page claims she wrote it herself.


    If Darrell Issa wasn't busy being the Foursquare mayor of Benghazi, he could investigate stuff like this and prove Gillespie doesn't lie all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  103. TGuerrant6:45 PM

    Like a dust devil in the sand trap of a country club golf course. And the gophers tremble!

    ReplyDelete
  104. TGuerrant6:50 PM

    Unless a state legalizes gay marriage. Then it's time for an amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

    ReplyDelete
  105. FMgur6:52 PM

    My friend, we are all interested in the future, for that is
    where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.

    ReplyDelete
  106. TGuerrant7:00 PM

    Possible, but I'm not sure "You'd have to be high off your ass to vote for me!" is such a great campaign slogan.


    Speak for yourself. I am entranced.

    ReplyDelete
  107. smut clyde7:02 PM

    I like the dude at the bottom of the pile: "Hey, guys, can you take it somewhere else? I'm looking for my contact lens here!"

    ReplyDelete
  108. TGuerrant7:04 PM

    Another GOP outreach project begins!

    ReplyDelete
  109. sharculese7:07 PM

    And don't get him started again about all that intrusive "federal civil rights legislation,"


    Seriously, please don't. He still has hurt feelings about the time Rachel Maddow did.

    ReplyDelete
  110. smut clyde7:09 PM

    "Unmoored from institutions" doesn't really mean ANYTHING.

    The Pew Research people are responsible for that gaseous emanation, though, you can't blame Gillespie except for repeating it.

    The Pew Research people also announced that young people are less inclined than older generations to trust anyone over 30. Truly an unprecedented new social development.

    ReplyDelete
  111. cleter7:20 PM

    I don't think Rand Paul has particularly good hair. He looks like he's wearing William Shatner's Wrath of Khan toupee.

    ReplyDelete
  112. The Pew Research people are responsible for that gaseous emanation, though, you can't blame Gillespie except for repeating it.


    To be fair to Pew, they had to come up with at least one question that hadn't been asked in the previous 12,781 "brave new world of the Millenials" polls. What are they supposed to do, quit polling people based on vaguely-defined media stereotypes? If they do that, what are this nation's hack columnists supposed to write about? The issues?

    ReplyDelete
  113. M. Krebs7:33 PM

    Looks like he's climbing out of a man-hole while another guy is trying to get in.

    ReplyDelete
  114. M. Krebs7:35 PM

    Is "cronyist" even a word?

    ReplyDelete
  115. IYKWIMAITYD.

    ReplyDelete
  116. M. Krebs7:37 PM

    I like the future; I'm in it. It's smaller, but cleaner.

    ReplyDelete
  117. J Neo Marvin7:50 PM

    Sing, Bridget, sing!

    ReplyDelete
  118. J Neo Marvin7:51 PM

    The future is fun! The future is fair! They already have won! They already be there!

    ReplyDelete
  119. If you go to the Google, it gets used by right-schmibertarians to criticize government doing ... well, basically anything, even if it's not clear who the actual cronies are (besides them, the perpetually-subsidized spoiled little shits). So it's apparently not a real word in the OED sense, but Hayeksters have convinced themselves that it exists anyway. Kinda like every other thing they believe.

    ReplyDelete
  120. MBouffant7:55 PM

    Here is a nickel for writing the GillespieApp for us.
    Thanks soooo much, gotta go,
    Reason

    ReplyDelete
  121. ADHDJ8:37 PM

    Yeah, Freddoso, why do you hate the kids so much?

    ReplyDelete
  122. Bethany Spencer9:05 PM

    Who has two thumbs and needs to work on her reading comprehension? This gal!

    ReplyDelete
  123. montag29:45 PM

    Umm, now zero for three in just the last few days.


    Geez, I hope, for your sake, that's not your A-game.

    ReplyDelete
  124. M. Krebs10:02 PM

    Fresh hell, hell on wheels, hell bent for leather, ...

    ReplyDelete
  125. Smurch10:06 PM

    ..hell and spam; hell, eggs and spam; hell, spam, sausage, eggs and spam; hell, bacon, hell, sausage and spam; hell, hell, spam and hell....

    ReplyDelete
  126. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person10:11 PM

    Mascot...

    ReplyDelete
  127. montag210:22 PM

    Is Reason going down the tubes, despite all that free money the Kochs and all the usual suspects have been giving them? I mean, shit, Gillespie is way, way over the top here, practically begging Paul to drop trou and let him kiss his ass. This is unadulterated fan-boy stuff--is he angling for a job on Paul's as-yet unformed campaign? Is he trying to wedge himself in the door first?

    If he is, why? You'd think that someone working for a mag called Reason would not be in such a hurry to hitch his wagon to a leaky submarine like Paul. Sure, there's intermittent buzz when Paul says something vaguely imitative of sanity, but, as Charlie Pierce reminds us regularly, the three-minute rule is still in effect. Over the course of the primary season, Paul will have many, many opportunities to prove that he is his father's son, and will wind up, at best, seventh in a field of ten, behind Santorum, Gingrich and whatever looney replaces Bachmann in the lineup.

    Now, I suppose I could understand if Gillespie were honest about his intentions, and said, in effect, "I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part," but that's not what he's doing. Hype is like myth-making--it's got to have some tiny kernel of truth at its heart for it to be believable, and this liturgical regurgitation is absent any such element. Millennials are not going to think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. They are going to think, "Paul? He's kind of a spaz."

    ReplyDelete
  128. "I don't care if he's in toy-poodles-on-parade hell."

    ReplyDelete
  129. Jeffrey_Kramer10:37 PM

    Gillespie has obviously been to one of those salesmen's seminars where they make you practice improvising some bridge between what the customer has just said about himself and what you're selling.

    "Tell me something about yourself, Mr. Mark."
    "Well, I'm a volunteer at the local hospital..."
    "Ah, I can see you're a man who, who relishes, ummm making people's lives easier! Well, don't you think it would make your wife's life easier if she had a state-of-the-art cheese grater..."

    ReplyDelete
  130. Jeffrey_Kramer10:46 PM

    And anything disliked by too many social conservatives isn't really a liberty, anyway; it's just "license," which is the enemy of true liberty. This is a twist so easy to perform that even Louie Gohmert can stick the landing every time.

    ReplyDelete
  131. cleter10:52 PM

    Having the libertarian street cred to get one hundred percent of the Ron Paul voters gets you enough votes to win zero GOP primaries. Having to share those kook balls with Ted Cruz? That puts you in T-Paw territory.

    ReplyDelete
  132. Jeffrey_Kramer10:54 PM

    Let me try: 1-Casablanca 2-America today 3-Rick 4-a guy who didn't want to get involved in politics, but things got so bad he had to take a stand

    ReplyDelete
  133. Jeffrey_Kramer11:03 PM

    If there is one thing of which we may be certain, it is that the future will be different from the past. Because past futures have always been different from past pasts.

    Wait a minute...

    ReplyDelete
  134. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:06 PM

    And thinking "so now one of the horses is gonna drop a load on me and make my fucking day complete"...

    ReplyDelete
  135. Jeffrey_Kramer11:10 PM

    Watch out, Roy; Rob will be picketing every Edroso 2016 campaign event, pleading with the voters to see through your con.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:11 PM

    The past is prologue. The present is preface. The future is introduction. The...I'll come in again.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:16 PM

    There's also the Lippidleggin' future, which has the Libertarian stamp of approval, having been invented by one. (F Paul Wilson, of the repairman jack series, a guilty pleasure of mine)

    ReplyDelete
  138. M. Krebs11:33 PM

    Looks like he often twitches on the Twitchy.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Jeffrey_Kramer11:41 PM

    Harry Potter and the Awesome American Transfer Student (fan fiction); Mary Sue, the awesome American transfer student; absolutely wonderful and perfect and Harry [America] falls in love with her right away; Rand Paul; Ginny Weasley; the conniving bitch who tries to take Harry away from Mary by offering him an Obamaphone.

    ReplyDelete
  140. William Miller11:43 PM

    I want to carry this comment, gently, to the triage center to bandage its poor and bloody feet and give it a good hot meal and a shot of good whiskey (or two), unlike the beans and god-knows-what it had been subsisting on during that terrible winter at Valley Forge. I'm sure General Washington would approve.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:43 PM

    It's no stretch to say that between his supposed Libertarianism and Christianity, he's lying through his teeth about at least one of 'em, and neither group seems smart enough to get it..

    ReplyDelete
  142. William Miller11:48 PM

    "Looks like a fucking inkblot. So what's your point?"

    ReplyDelete
  143. William Miller11:53 PM

    Seriously, what does "and more" really mean? He secretly plays third base for the Kansas City Royals?

    ReplyDelete
  144. J Edgar11:53 PM

    Hey, his name is "Paul", just like one of the Beatles. Get with it, man.

    ReplyDelete
  145. William Miller12:08 AM

    "I'm so fucked up I think I'll vote for Rand Paul!" Could happen, you know.

    ReplyDelete
  146. MBouffant12:14 AM

    "Kids" just fuckin' love the irony & liberty of a toupee.


    Oh, hairpiece. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  147. William Miller12:26 AM

    Wow, "I hope I die before I get old." Damn, too late.

    ReplyDelete
  148. William Miller12:34 AM

    "Right now I don't give a shit which side I'm on, just keep those fucking horses off of me!"

    ReplyDelete
  149. William Miller12:38 AM

    "Scrabble dictionary says no."

    ReplyDelete
  150. MikeJ1:54 AM

    The pluperfect is index.

    ReplyDelete
  151. smut clyde2:01 AM

    The aorist is ... come to think of it, I have no idea. Possibly a heart condition.

    ReplyDelete
  152. BadExampleMan2:04 AM

    You know, of all the objects we encounter on a daily basis, airplanes might be the ones for which this statement is least true.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Things went all to hell after they gave the swaths the right to vote.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Tehanu2:40 AM

    A fair for all and no fair to anybody! We are all Bozos on this bus....

    ReplyDelete
  155. Geo X3:35 AM

    Well, it IS where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Geo X3:54 AM

    Whoa, shoulda read the whole thread before making that exact same joke.

    ReplyDelete
  157. gainsayer5:06 AM

    To be fair, you were focused on the future, and no one had made any clever comments there yet.

    ReplyDelete
  158. The city of gold and lead.

    ReplyDelete
  159. "I want to give you my hairpiece."



    --The Corsican Brothers

    ReplyDelete
  160. But wasn't tomorrow wonderful?

    ReplyDelete
  161. Yeah, I can see that...

    ReplyDelete
  162. I think you've hit on something about politics in general and reactionary politics in particular. Its like they are listening very, very, hard to what the "customer/voter" is saying and then repurposing it using a find/replace algorithm.


    So: you say you want [freedom], we can offer you [freedom lite] you say you want [religious liberty?] we can offer you [corporate religious liberty] you way you want [bodily autonomy for women?] we can offer you [bodily autonomy for zygotes and embryos]. You say you want [tolerance] we can demand you [tolerate our intolerance.]

    ReplyDelete
  163. hellslittlestangel9:17 AM

    Think of it as reusing a stock joke. Ed Wood would have approved.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Is that from Big Trouble in Little China, moominpappa? There's a dirty little pleasure of a movie.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Isn't this more like the moment before closing time when the smart PUA makes his move, lowers his standards, and starts hittin' on the C and D level women to make sure he gets taken home tonight. Its a short term strategy but no other woman is at the bar right now and tomorrow will be a new day. I think Gillespie is hoping Rand will bang him (hire him) for the period at least running upto the primaries and then if/when he loses Gillespie will jump ship as a "seasoned" campaigner and get hired by whoever wins. You notice he's careful not to diss anyone else who will be in the primary. He's marketing Paul as the guy who can get the kiddie vote but he's really marketing himself to the money guys as the person who can explain the kiddie vote.

    ReplyDelete
  166. XeckyGilchrist10:39 AM

    Well, at least there's still an opportunity to age gracelessly. I'm working that angle.

    ReplyDelete
  167. XeckyGilchrist10:44 AM

    Well, he doesn't *have* to, going by the quality of past trolls. But it'd be appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  168. XeckyGilchrist10:46 AM

    I think they're co-opting "choice" for that, at least with the schools. Since the word "voucher" crashed and burned.

    ReplyDelete
  169. M. Krebs10:46 AM

    Especially the swarthy swaths.

    ReplyDelete
  170. M. Krebs10:55 AM

    That settles it then. It's not even a bullshit Scrabble word.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Mickey_Zellberg11:49 AM

    I don't remember reading about Nicholas Gillespie in Look.

    ReplyDelete
  172. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person11:58 AM

    At closing time, it already *is* tomorrow...

    ReplyDelete
  173. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:02 PM

    Call Pup Tentacle, he's been there...

    ReplyDelete
  174. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person12:03 PM

    A trip to the fair, but nobody was there...

    ReplyDelete
  175. redoubtagain1:09 PM

    Randville

    ReplyDelete
  176. redoubtagain2:18 PM

    "I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind.”

    Add thrifty, clean, reverent, and respectful and you have a Boy Scout. Or a Girl Scout.

    Oh wait--those are institutions.

    ReplyDelete
  177. RogerAiles2:35 PM

    I want to be sedated.

    ReplyDelete
  178. LittlePig3:20 PM

    You mean the inkblots of the naked wom...,er, ah, forget I said anything.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Jaime Oria3:25 PM

    As it's told, one of astronaut Pete Conrad's patented 'gotcha!' moments came during the endless psych tests when he was handed a blank sheet in the middle of a Rorschach sequence: "But this is upside down."

    ReplyDelete
  180. LittlePig3:28 PM

    No wonder Alyssa's anal advice was so straightforward.

    ReplyDelete
  181. Find the sizzle to go with the steak the customer allegedly desires.

    ReplyDelete
  182. JennOfArk3:30 PM

    " - a social conservative, a civil libertarian..."



    None of these things is just like the other.

    ReplyDelete
  183. One of the first SF stories I remember reading was from one of the anthologies that Anthony Boucher or Groff Conklin put together and it was about a post-nuclear future where the mutant was condemned by the religion and the people of the time.

    ReplyDelete
  184. "You're the onewho keeps showing me the dirty pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  185. MikeJ3:39 PM

    I can't see Gillespie working on a campaign. At the end of a campaign you're graded on your work. The voters will decide if you did your job well, and barring Supreme Court intervention, success or failure is up to you.


    Do you think he'd leave a cushy Koch financed job where he doesn't have to produce anything and will never be judged on the quality of his work? Campaigns are real work. Think tanks are not.

    ReplyDelete
  186. JennOfArk3:42 PM

    It would be easy to dismiss all the popular dystopian fiction as just so much bandwagon-jumping, but like other trends in fiction, I suspect that the reason it's had so much popularity over the past 5 years is that it reflects the fears of the people who consume it. Just as Japanese monsters reflected a society trying to come to grips with nuclear horror, just as movies like Invasion of the Body Snatchers and other unfriendly alien movies reflected American xenophobia in the 50's. If dystopian fiction has currency with American youth, it's because of their fear - sadly all too well-founded - of their prospects these days.

    ReplyDelete
  187. Eh, you're fine as long as you don't fail a Turing test.

    ReplyDelete
  188. Angel, actually. But close enough(?).

    ReplyDelete
  189. At the end of a campaign you're graded on your work.


    SAMUEL JOHNSON: I refute it thus [Kicks Mark Penn in the head].

    ReplyDelete
  190. JennOfArk3:59 PM

    It doesn't really matter how any of the investigations turn out, IMO. Politicians' handmaidens don't do things that they know their boss would not approve, whether they tell the boss what they're doing before they do it or not. Bridgegate happened because in Camp Christie, fucking up someone's day because they didn't do exactly what you wanted is SOP. As fucked up as the country is, I think the majority still wouldn't favor a mafia enforcer as their leader.

    ReplyDelete
  191. coozledad4:14 PM

    The wrath of con.

    ReplyDelete
  192. billcinsd4:16 PM

    The future perfect will not happen. the past perfect has been shown to be wrong

    ReplyDelete
  193. MikeJ4:33 PM

    What makes you think I am fine as long as me don't fail a Turing test?

    ReplyDelete
  194. realinterrobang4:46 PM

    The subjunctive is fan fiction.

    ReplyDelete
  195. M. Krebs7:24 PM

    I shouted out, "Free the Expo '67"
    Till they stepped on my hair, and they told me I was fat
    Now I'm very big, I'm a big important man
    And the only thing that's different is underneath my hat



    Purple toupee is here to stay
    after the hair has gone away

    ReplyDelete
  196. M. Krebs7:29 PM

    It's already yesterday.


    http://youtu.be/OSKO_u-MsgQ

    ReplyDelete
  197. M. Krebs7:38 PM

    "... young people are less inclined than older generations to trust anyone over 30."


    Yeah, well, the feeling is mutual.

    ReplyDelete
  198. Meanie-meanie, tickle a person8:11 PM

    With its appendix removed...

    ReplyDelete
  199. It's not how you answer internet questions with questions that matters; it's what you do when they shove Chinese writing under the door.

    ReplyDelete