But you're a good girl, the way you grab me, must wanna get nasty...
I dragged my ass through CPAC again today, and Raw Story posted it here, here, here, here, and here. I must say that I liked all the people with whom I spoke, notwithstanding that they're trying to destroy the country; we all have our faults. I particularly liked the Duggars, maybe because, after my long acquaintance with show folk, their cheerful cooperation with a humble member of the press charmed me. Trust me, I've been treated worse.
Tomorrow we do it again. [retch]
CPAC: the only convention on earth where the celebrity guests are more approachable than the regular joes.
ReplyDeleteAlso, since Roy's out of commission for at least another day, I'm going to loot/mooch his blog and ask if any of you swell people would be interested in reading the first twenty pages of my manuscript? It's a coming-of-age/monster-hunting action-fantasy set in rust belt Pennsylvania.
ReplyDeleteWe love you, Roy, and we appreciate what you're doing. The gods know nobody else has the patience for it.
ReplyDeleteHow did you know about my childhood? Yes, I'd totally be into reading that. My email is at the contact link in the website on my profile.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow we do it again.
ReplyDeleteIs that a direct quote from the Duggars?
In the bad news of the weekend, BartCop passed away yesterday.
ReplyDeleteDamnit! Why do we keep losing the good and the great (Gilliard, BartCop, Doghouse, etc.) while all the towering mediocrities of the right continue to foul the public discourse?
I see Ralph Reed and I just see "child molester." My god, he's creepy-looking. As I was going to say in the last thread, it's amazing how many wingnuts LOOK exactly as you'd expect them to. It's like they're always trollin'
ReplyDeleteThe Cheney Principle. Money and good health care make a difference. That's why these bozos are so adamant about ruining the ACA.
ReplyDeletePerhaps sensing my skepticism, Carson told me a story: “I knew a woman who “has two kids, she was beaten by her husband. He totally zeroed out her accounts. She was able to take out a payday loan and take her kids to a shelter. And she told me payday loans saved her life.”
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing the loan allowed her to take her kids to a shelter by paying for a cab. Close thing, the price of a cab ride making the difference between life and death. I'm sure it could happen.
Maybe there ought to be a system in place for those who don't have access to payday loans, something which could save their lives when they couldn't raise a hundred dollars on the spot. Some sort of branch of Emergency Services, maybe, which provides free transportation to shelters when needed, paid for by the government like Fire Departments and Emergency Medical Services are, because -- like those public services -- they are their for the general welfare, preserving the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
There are thousands of women who have no chance of getting a payday loan because they have been forbidden to have a paying job, first by their fathers and then by their husbands, because a woman who works outside the house is in defiance of God's law. And of those thousands, some are subject to constant, life-threatening abuse. I have little doubt that some of them are at the CPAC convention.
What do you suppose Mr. Carson would say to this proposition for free, government-supported emergency transportation for such women? Wouldn't that save lives? And that's where we see the difference between the true compassion of Libertarians and the "flagrant displays of compassion" by liberals, isn't it? In fact, let's take a poll of everybody at CPAC. What do you say, you good Christian folk?
I'm no psychic, but the reading I'm getting is.... "Moochers and parasites don't count."
I get the feeling that the ex-cop from Michigan is whistling past the graveyard on the weed issue. Law `n order is a bread and butter votes matter for conservatives and always has been, despite the marginal inroads that libertarian whining has made into the conservative mindset. There are just too many conservatives out there that still equate grass with hippies and hippies with disorder. Whole lot of people out there who still think "Reefer Madness" was a documentary.
ReplyDeleteAnd, no doubt, there are some at CPAC who think that mentioning drugs will get them votes from minorities, so they're willing to make fingers-crossed pacts with the dope-leaning glibertarians. Rick Perry--who doesn't even mention drugs, and rather, talks about the Tenth Amendment--is probably an example of that. When speaking to the common white Christian folk, he's agin' it (and lard knows there have been enough stories lately coming out of Texas of rude roadside genital and rectal searches to realize that if Perry has in any way changed his mind on the subject of drugs, word of it definitely has not trickled down to the rank-and-file). At CPAC, however, asked about legalization, he starts talking about the Tenth Amendment, which, in his addled state, he thinks will be adequate dog-whistling for the Randians.
But, then, ask Rick Perry if he's on the stump and he will reply, "wha did you call me?"
Another thing the Postal Service is ideally equipped and situated to provide. Elizabeth Warren's proposal to make them public access banks is just too good and humane an idea for Republicans to go along with.
ReplyDeletePlus, it would make gobs of money, and Republicans don't know fuck all about that.
Ted Cruz is the smarmiest looking person I've ever seen. I swear he was decanted out of the axolotl tanks as the perfection of the used car salesman genome. I saw him with the sound off, and the smarm and spite still just radiated from him. I see the Joe McCarthy face, too, as noted so eloquently by Mr. Pierce, Tailgunner Joe II.
ReplyDeleteOh, I just now saw it. I've wondered who Cheney's apprentice was. Two there are. No more. No less. Arise, Darth Cruz.
Shock Doctrine II: Nobody Expects The Hispanic Inquisition!
ReplyDeleteThe thing about Reed that kills me is that here's a straight-out, no-question, plain and simple grifter -- the guy who got paid by Jack Abramoff specifically to pour out his Christian crocodile tears over the unGodly practice of gambling, in order to get the legislature to stop one Indian tribe putting up a casino, so that Jack would have no competition when "his" Indian tribe put up their casino -- and this is all public record, and he is still playing the role of Christian moralist to an applauding house.
ReplyDeleteThere is great consternation on the Right that the Post Office refuses to die. They thought they'd driven a stake through its heart back when they demanded that USPS fully fund health and retirement for not only present employees but also for all projected future employees out to 75 years from now. Although that demand put USPS tens of billions of dollars in the hole every year, the service has managed to scramble and get its house enough in order to stave off the financial catastrophe the GOP engineered for it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if the GOP wins control of both houses of Congress, they can get back to dismantling the Post Office after they get done impeaching Obama. (Also, too, Rick "the dick" Santorum has been lobbying hard to do away with the National Weather Service so that his contributors from the privatized weather companies can take over the business and start charging us all to look out the window. Yet another move to socialize the costs (we all paid and continue to pay for the network of weather stations and active weather research) and privatize the profits.
You have to admit, though, that photo is fucking perfect. Rarely has so much sleaze and flimflammery been captured in one picture.
ReplyDeleteHe's beyond the used-car salesman genome. He's approaching huckster evangelist-preacherdom.
ReplyDeletethey demanded that USPS fully fund health and retirement for not only
ReplyDeletepresent employees but also for all projected future employees out to 75
years from now
AT THE SAME TIME they allow private companies to underfund so badly the government is having to make up the shortfall.
That suit! That hair!
ReplyDeleteGodwin help me if it isn't Von Ribbentrop pimping the Kapp Putsch to the Berlin rotary club.
I, too, have noticed this. What is it about conservatives that they go in for the slicked hair types?
ReplyDeleteThe tea party creeps I've met always have it whipped up with some kind of hair product. You half expect to see melted streams of it oozing down their neck and onto their polo shirt.
ReplyDeleteNothing kills like conscience.
ReplyDeleteIt is all part of a larger pattern with the Right. Whatever the costs might be (labor, raw materials, environmental destruction, societal degradation), those costs have to be borne by society at large. Thus our wages fall while our benefits dry up; we go to war to keep oil cheap for Exxon and our children die; mining companies destroy our mountaintops and poison our water--and the companies pay nary a penny. They do, however, pocket every dime of profit and fight like tigers to make sure they don't have to do anything more than pay lip service to the communities they destroy.
ReplyDeleteAnd smut clyde was worried yesterday there wouldn't be enough lube for the yeti porn. You could probably run every McDonald's fryer in the nation for a week with the lubricants on display at CPAC.
ReplyDeleteIn the Hopperesque post-midnight diner of the mind I see Edroso and Pierce (Charlie, Leonard or both) slumped over coffee cups laconically trading CPAC anecdotes and chain smoking Chesterfields. Even though I KNOW THIS IS WRONG.
ReplyDeleteWhy did an image of slugs on slime cords pop into my brain? IT IS A MYSTERY.
ReplyDeleteI would like to deposit a spermatophore for this comment's egg-laying.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see you writing; you're obviously talented. Hob down this thread will help you out - I'm a croaking frog with bronchitis right now and not objective. I'm barely upright...
ReplyDeleteThe whole idea of CPAC was depressing the hell out of me until I saw that rodential image of Reed and thought to myself: "Somebody sold him that suit. Somebody convinced him that looking like the parlor wallpaper in a bordello was a good idea."
ReplyDeleteSo there's a ray of hope for humanity.
Hell, to the people at CPAC, that makes him a hero. For a certain class of people in this country, the concept of shame does not exist.
ReplyDeleteThere must be a gene that been suppressed in conservatives--the one that causes normal people to have functioning bullshit detectors.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing more nauseating than the way these creeps lie, is the way the lie poorly.
ReplyDelete"She was beaten by her husband who took all of her money. And needed to go to a shelter. But there was no one to take her and no way for her to get there. So she somehow got to the payday loan place and got a loan and then went back home. Where she had ... locked the kids in a closet so they would be safe. And then she went to a shelter. And they had room for her and her kids. And the unicorns."
cgetzan@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteKudos and thanks for "axolotl tanks." The world will little note nor long remember--so I'll remind it here--that I'm on record as saying that Cruz's eyebrows are the key tell, horror, and indicator of his terribleness.
ReplyDeleteI see "aged child star still clinging to the old look."
ReplyDeleteWhen ISN'T there?
ReplyDeleteYou have won the Internet with this. To what address shall we deliver it?
ReplyDeleteLet's hope that the guy that sold Reed that suit doesn't get into Reed's business, because he'd be as good at it as Reed.
ReplyDeleteGee, wonder where he gets that...
ReplyDeleteDown here in Arkansas, Duggar humor is an entire genre. The more extreme forms are, well, extreme...
ReplyDeleteDarth Cruz! It works for me.
ReplyDeleteTed Cruz's true form: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EpuH9LJyCAE/T-4HUmrVEZI/AAAAAAAAD1I/VvFAlBgF4Cc/s1600/smug-dog.jpg
ReplyDeleteWait, so they're against transvaginal ultrasounds, now?
ReplyDelete"The Aristocrats!"
ReplyDeleteA sexy mystery!
ReplyDeleteI forget who wrote this following beautifully accurate description of Cruz, but it was someone from this fine establishment:
ReplyDelete"a wet-look haircut above a massive thug's forehead, the doe eyes and sad-you're-forcing-him-to-torture you expression of a Central American generalissimo, and the prissy little mouth of a connoisseur of sadism, all made audible by an Elmer Fudd-meets-Dr. Strangelove nasal tenor that could provide a lifelong career as a villain in cheap South Korean animation. "
Isn't 'payment guaranteed for the next 75 years' the exact same reason they say that social security needs to die--oops, I mean 'undergo significant restructuring? Because it's just too unrealistic to expect the money for those payments to be there?
ReplyDeleteThey're such vile little fucks, and they never stop. They won't be happy until they've killed this country dead. They're like orcs.
A friend of mine from high school ended up being Ted Cruz's freshman roommate. 25 years ago I was already hearing stories about how creepy and physically greasy Ted Cruz was.
ReplyDeleteDuggar/yeti slash porn.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but the apprenticeship with Cheney had already been taken by Satan.
ReplyDeleteAnd before anyone asks, the dildos have already been covered (see photo at top of page).
ReplyDeleteI think the worst thing about that story is that it uses women and children as a shield for legalized mafia loan sharking. Its no different from saying "every town should have a Tony Soprano because aside from facilitating the killing of young girls, the selling of dope, and the torching of restaurants occasionally he will allow a desperate woman to become completely indebted to his leg breakers when her abusive husband has stolen her money."
ReplyDeleteIt assumes that it makes sense to tackle the problem of domestic violence and female dependency by encouraging women to become entangled with an indifferent and rapacious lender of last resort rather than, say, making sure that the government furnishes battered women's shelters with a fund of money so they can pay for the taxis of women who arrive with no money, or so they can hire lawyers to fight for their rights in court.
Anyway--its total crap because if she went to a domestic violence shelter she had to go through an agency which placed her there since these places are usually kept secret in order to prevent the abusers from showing up. There's no "last minute cash flow problem" in this scenario.
Oops. I should have read down one more comment before posting my own! Congratulations apocaplipstick, you pipped me at the post.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit but thats good.http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2013/08/ted_cruz_in_iowa_social_conservatives_want_him_to_run_for_president_now.html
ReplyDeleteI swear he was decanted out of the axolotl tanks
ReplyDeleteI would happily lend this comment my spare pair of metal Tleilaxu eyeballs.
"Dat Loesch dame, lemme tell youse, Charlie: nuttin' but trouble. Ya think I'd know better by know then ta get mixed up wid a dame like dat."
ReplyDeleteElizabeth Warren's proposal to make them public access banks
ReplyDeleteIn NZ, the "Kiwibank" -- set up to operate out of post offices and reach the people neglected by existing banks -- turned out to be a commercial as well as a social success. I mention this knowing that empirical evidence is no substitute for ideological rigour.
It's very difficult to find a picture of Ted Cruz which doesn't make think 'boy, I'd like punch that smug twat in the face'.
ReplyDeleteAdd me to the list - dmjohnston AT outlook.com.
ReplyDeleteI've got my own manuscript kicking around here...no one has sex with a cryptid, but there is a woman flogging a dude with a yardstick, if you're into that. Seriously though, it's about a disintegrating expatriate community and it's deeply personal.
We need to run an intervention before Roy crosses over.
ReplyDeleteTwat? How to do you get to twat with Ted Cruz?
ReplyDeleteAhem.
ReplyDeleteOf course I'd be happy to give it a read. jesus h cristos at att dot net.
ReplyDeleteBefore there was Rule 34, there was R. Crumb.
ReplyDeleteAack! So was I! So make that three grossly overrated UGA products. Actually Ralphie graduated in '85, but it's not clear when he first enrolled. I graduated in '81, and I believe Herschel split in '82. So there might have been one year of overlap for all three of us.
ReplyDeleteYou are a brave, brave soul, wading through all this crap for us, your readers.
ReplyDeleteBreaking a path for us through the freshly fallen bullshit, as it were.
ReplyDeleteThe grease in the hair of a Speedway operator is all a tremulous heart requires.
ReplyDeleteFree pizza for all!
ReplyDeleteThe guy who called religious people "crazies" is back to stealing their cash (and votes). Guess he was right.
ReplyDelete+10^6
ReplyDeleteSlouching Towards Bethlehem?
ReplyDeleteThe Post Office?
ReplyDeletePostal Service ought to be in charge of the Census, too. They know where just about everyone is.
ReplyDeleteEkkkkkksssellent
ReplyDeleteI don't think UPS or FedEx want the US Postal Service gone, they use it a LOT.
ReplyDeleteThe eyebrows have bothered me, too. He goes around with an expression you'd expect to find on a ham wildly overacting the part of Jesus in some fundie passion play.
ReplyDeleteWhat about multiple shots of Scotch whiskey?
ReplyDeleteYou need to be more, uh, explicit about what you mean by "yeti porn". Do you mean porn made by yetis, or porn meant for yeti consumers?
ReplyDeleteAlso, would Yukon Cornelius/Abominable Snow Monster slashfic count? AFAF
Heh, The Yeti Banged Betty... Naughty Nepal NIghts...
He wooks too big to gawwop,,,
ReplyDeleteAnd that facial expression -- it's Dana Carvey's Church Lady come to life. If you asked an artist to depict the term "whited sepulchre," you'd get this guy's portrait. What is the expression, by the time you're 40 you have the face you deserve?
ReplyDeleteBetter than the Liev Schreiber of cats!
ReplyDeletehttp://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7706/1921/320/inyoface.0.jpg
And by ham, you mean the pork product...
ReplyDeleteMi-Go Horny...
ReplyDeleteThe next year a guy ran on the platform of abolishing student government. He also won.
ReplyDelete...And his name was Grover Norquist. And now you know the rest of the story!
Ok, I take responsibility for bringing yeti porn to the attention of the alicuratti. But I have to confess, I haven't been able to shake the idea that someone has been making tens of thousands of dollars per month selling yeti porn ebooks. I've become a bit obsessed with the notion. Because I'm thinking, how hard could it be? You could basically cut and paste all the dirty sexytime bits from all the internet erotica lying around all over the place, which just leaves you with not much else to do other than some kind of thin plot, which come to think of it, could probably be culled from Dear Penthouse letters. So I've been mulling it over but hadn't thought of anything that particularly inspired me, until a few days ago when Sarah Palin was literally drooling over the he-man authoritarianism of Vladimir Putin, and I thought, THAT might make for some fun satirical porn writing. Cons: contains no yetis. Pros: "She lay naked on the bearskin rug before the fireplace - a bear he had killed himself on one of many shirtless hunting expeditions - and a delicious shiver ran through her body, only partially caused by the frigid Siberian winter outside. He locked eyes with her as he slowly, deliberately unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his magnificent breasts. Sarah's breath caught, and she moaned out in a guttural whisper, "impale me, Vlad. Impale me NOW...."
ReplyDeleteSo, I've got THAT going for me....
"I saw your cock from my house."
ReplyDeleteYou should consider starting a blog and posting the manuscript so you can get a bunch of feedback from the peanut gallery.
ReplyDeleteRe: monster porn it feels like there's a touch of hipsterism to the whole thing, like that Robocop statue in Detroit that got funded on Kickstarter. People don't like it (fap to it, in this case), on its own, they just...like the idea of someone less sophisticated than them liking it. Fapping to it. I think.
ReplyDeleteBut I would not discount-not for one minute-the possibility that the majority of the customers are legitimately hot for this stuff. I have a DeviantArt account. I've seen some shit.
Either way, this guy/gal is the smartest one in the room, obviously. Making a living off of what's basically an inside joke. America, what a country!
That line alone would make it a bestseller, because what guy hasn't dreamed of someone saying that to him?
ReplyDeletePerhaps I will when there's more of it and it's in better shape. I'm a Young, so I should know, but: is that something aspiring writers do these days? Just straight up post shit one chapter at a time and then (hopefully) get people to pay for the whole thing when it's done? If they've read the whole thing already, why would they? But I know stuff like John Dies at the End got done that way (Both the posting of a little bit at a time and constant author-audience in-progress workshopping) so I guess it works for somebody. If I had one-fourth that level of success I'd be ecstatic.
ReplyDeleteIn a country where multiple Furry conventions are held each year, anything is possible.
ReplyDeleteYou mean most guys haven't?
ReplyDeleteWell played, sir. Well played.
ReplyDeleteMy neighbor complained that I was blocking her sun.
ReplyDelete"That was no ICBM coming into the airspace of the United States."
ReplyDelete"Mr. President! Everyone in California is pregnant! Even the men!"
ReplyDeletePeter Boyle was typecast as Ted Cruz before anyone ever heard of him. It hounded the man to death.
ReplyDeleteSentient fungoids / stinkhorn mash-up DO NOT WANT.
ReplyDeleteI don't know to what extent it's been a successful strategy, but it is a free and easy way to get your material out there (the ability to "store" the stuff on the "cloud" is an added benefit). You might want to ask Spengler Dampniche about the authorial process- his second novel was published last year.
ReplyDeleteYou'd be surprised how many of the folks in management at the Postal Service were surprised where people lived.
ReplyDeleteI drove a supervisor around a route I subbed on during a mail count, and he couldn't believe some of the hovels I pointed out were habitations. Maybe it was the plastic sheeting blowing out from the open windows, maybe it was the incentive to cut the pay for the route.
I'll never know. He was a dumbass.
But you're right. The carriers know where everybody is, when they're home, if they need to be looked in on, etc.
And they know everyone's politics, and everyone's kinks.
I would have stabbed myself with a fork by now. Hope you make it back.
ReplyDeleteOne of the subtexts of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is that Abominable fucks the reindeer before he eats them. That's what drew me to the program as a child. I knew it must be set set in our sister state of South Carolina.
ReplyDeleteAs a former USPS employee, I used to carry lots of packages with UPS and Fed Ex tags all over them. Many of them had been returned several times for want of a proper address, some of them were obviously flushed into the mail because why fucking not? They already had their money.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere we must have contracted with them for a pittance to actually find their customers.
Before he more or less abandoned his official blog and moved completely to Twitter, William Gibson was posting brief excerpts (not necessarily in narrative order) of Spook Country as he was writing it.
ReplyDeleteYou must have been there when REM still lived in a band house. I heard it was a constant orgy of drugs and sex.
ReplyDeleteI met a woman at a store in Chapel Hill who'd done her undergraduate at UGA and asked her about it. She said the rumors were probably true, given what she'd experienced everywhere else on and off campus.
She did say that everyone, EVERYONE, was in a god damned band.
You're suggesting Rule 34 has gone ironic?
ReplyDeleteI need to sit.
woman flogging a dude with a yardstick
ReplyDeleteYou've just described my Catlick school. 12 YEARS!!!
Squatching Towards Bethlehem.
ReplyDeleteJeez.
Naked Came the Sasquatch
ReplyDeleteBeing probably the only Squatchloon on this board, the Albert Ostman story is v. cool, and that's a kickass illus.
ReplyDeletePersonal experience with FedEx has been poor, with UPS generally good, and with USPS generally excellent, as well as less expensive. They could raise their prices by a third and they'd still be the best and least expensive option.
ReplyDeleteThe animus towards the Postal Service is the tell that their much-trumpeted fidelity to the "original intent" of the Constitution is bullshit. They're always claiming that the Departments of Energy or Education or whatever should be abolished because they're not in the Constitution, but they're also forever screaming for the abolition of the Postal Service, even when it's one of the few government functions explicitly delineated in it.
ReplyDeleteOne of the weird things about the internet is how it's
ReplyDeleteerased all the lines between cute and perverse. Like the stereotype is that there's nothing innocent that can't be made horrific, but I've seen the reverse a lot of times too: something intended to be perverted and/or horrific gets reverse-engineered into something cuddly.
Like this (SFW) picture for instance. I found it about a week ago and it still kinda blows my mind when I look at it: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Reservoir-Dogs-282369826
I am married to one but I found the Ostman story ... implausible.
ReplyDeleteDoes he smell like he's been lightly shpritzed with bacon grease? I grew up around funnymentalist Christers, and the greasier contingent seemed to have an aversion to washing their hair, and a persistent and lingering smell of bacon grease about them.
ReplyDeleteThe real conservative butthurt about the Post Office is that it is the only monopolistic product or service where their cronies can't fleece the public. (Sadly, we can no longer count public schools as another.) Monopolistic opportunities for products or services universally needed and used are not that numerous (though they are working hard to monopolize everything possible). There's no way to privatize basic postal delivery in a way that allows every citizen in the country to pay the same rate for sending to any other address in the country without creating monopolies - state, regional, or national. The US has about the lowest postal rates in the world. Where postal services have been privatized, they are MUCH more expensive. The Netherlands' private postal service charges twice as much (or more) as we pay to service a country that's 100 miles from one border to the other. We could raise the prices of postage to cover the ridiculous burdens the Republicans put on the Post Office, and still be paying a lot less than citizens in countries with privatized systems. This while paying living wages to the workers and giving them decent benefits.
ReplyDeleteThat's the problem conservatives have with the Post Office. Not only are they not being allowed to skim profit off the top of a universal service; the money that is coming in is going to the wrong people. And also, lots of black people work for the Post Office and are being paid enough to buy houses and shit.
Sure.
ReplyDeleteDrugs probably, sex I kinda doubt. But I was too busy trying to make A's, so I don't know. But I did live around the corner from Stipe for a while, and Pete Buck worked in Wuxtry, the record store where I spent most of my spare change.
ReplyDeleteOddly, Grover was right about student government. Too bad he didn't quit while he was ahead.
ReplyDeleteI 'spect you and my wife share a number of phrases and mannerisms.
ReplyDeleteie. "Again?" "These people are nuts." and (shakes head, turns on kindle)
Stinkhorn? You could always use some Gold Bond "down there".
ReplyDeleteDavid or John?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. I don't take the story at all seriously as a story. The story about the young mother who defends herself with the assault rifle her husband in the army insisted she have while he was serving overseas is a perennial favorite example of why second amendment rights must be preserved. If you suggest that one well publicized woman's fight against a home invasion doesn't necessarily outweigh the 30,000 accidental deaths and suicides caused by lax gun control laws you are apparently "objectively pro home invasions" and anti mom and apple pie. I saw tons of this on a women's web site I used to hang out with after the very well publicized case in Oklahoma (IIRC).
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the guy who wrote The Martian? He's everyfuckingwhere these days. Nice little hard scifi book he posted a chapter at a time. Of course he wasn't really looking for a publisher, so he wasn't a pro writer until after it was already done and he'd given it away.
ReplyDeleteIf I were serious about selling, I wouldn't post the whole thing. But since I've never completed a book and certainly never sold one, my advice doesn't really mean a lot.
You can get them to pay for it if you withhold the last chapter.
ReplyDeleteThe Ice Man Cometh.
ReplyDeleteCrypt Keeper was what came to mind. The picture in his attic, though, probably hasn't changed a day.
ReplyDeleteI should have been clearer - In addition to reading his books, we've been out with the BFRO and I've spoken to a number of people who've had, or claim to have had encounters. Plenty of those people are plausible. Some, I think misinterpreted something they saw or heard. And some just really, really, really wanted to think they'd had an encounter.
ReplyDeleteBut I do not think Ostman is plausible.
FUN!!! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd your analysis is spot-on.
Really? My reaction on seeing pictures of wingnuts is always, "but they look so normal! :o"
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am always surprised that so many of them are fat. Aren't they supposed to be perfect, sleek, not-an-extra-ounce-on-them, angular Randian superpeople? And if they are not, should that not be a hint to them that they are in fact not especially smart, not especially disciplined, not especially anything, and just generally not suited to have all that freedom and choice they are always patting themselves on the back for wanting? I mean, whenever I start to think I'm anything special, I just have to look down on my beerbelly to remember that I'm not...
But I guess wingnuts carry their lard with pride. The bastards. :P
I always figured they were waiting for Jesus to wash their feet, and maybe hope He'd get around to the rest of them.
ReplyDeleteAnd to paraphrase what Mr. Everett said to Mr. Lincoln, you have captured with 24 words what I struggled to capture in hundreds.
ReplyDeletePerfectly describes it. He'd could work the passion play with deaf Evangelicals.
The Duggars are so nice. The oldest one came here to Indy to lead the fight against same sex marriage. Imagine a group of people who literally see a woman as a breeding animal lecturing us on what marriage is
ReplyDelete" It's a coming-of-age/monster-hunting action-fantasy set in rust belt Pennsylvania."
ReplyDeleteSo it's about Sandusky?
The odds are that two of the Dugger kids are gay- hopefully any LGBT Dugger will become an advocate for equal rights.
ReplyDeleteI've seen some shit.
ReplyDeleteWinston Zeddemore level shit?
Like that eldritch thing wasn't creepy enough to begin with. It's difficult for me to adequately convey my joy and appreciation for this new insight. Thanks ever so.
ReplyDeleteIsle of Mis-Fit Toys. The horror...the horror...
Looking forward to the new Jack Links ad.
ReplyDelete"Don't mess with Sasquatch: Orthodox Edition"
Holy fucking shit. They're now openly siding with the Temple money changers. And not just some money changers, payday loan makers, the most venal, blood-sucking parasites on the planet. This shit really sends my Hate-o-meter into the red.
ReplyDeleteSome party you got there, Republicans.
It's 50, and that's generally attributed to Orwell (too lazy to find out if that's right.) But some people take delivery early, such is the purity of their essence.
ReplyDeleteI bet, I'm very sorry to say, that you're right about the hipsterism part.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to the backlash that must - MUST! - be coming to all the irony and meta and allusion that's currently all the rage.
Well... didn't this give it away?
ReplyDeleteAccording to Ostman the female Sasquatch washed and stacked leaves.[17]
I actually lived with people who used leaves as plates. You definitely don't wash them and stack them.
Adding insult to injury one of the big jokes told at CPAC was that Obama should get out of the drone business and make sure that the USPS delivers on Saturdays and in rural areas. Yup--the very thing the right wing has been trying to destroy they now blame on Obama not being a good boy.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget Jon Swift.
ReplyDeleteThe real question, Roy, is whether or not you met face-to-face with Jonah.
ReplyDeleteDoughbob: It's you!!!
Roy: How are you Jonahman?
" Do you mean porn made by yetis, or porn meant for yeti consumers?"
ReplyDeleteOr, perhaps, kinky things done with expensive ice coolers.