And a merry Christmas to you, Roy! Thanks for all your work throughout the year!
And a special happy holidays to all the commentariat here at Roy's place. A wittier, funnier, more intelligent gathering you'll not find anywhere on the web. Love ya, guys and gals!
I've enjoyed the year with everyone here -- you're all a bunch of crazy geniuses. Especially Roy -- Merry Christmas to you, Roy. You've really earned it.
Wait--Jesus Christ was born TODAY? Fuck, I didn't get Him anything.
Merry Xmas, all. Ten thousand thousand thanks to our genial host, for all the punishment, mental and emotional, he endures for our sake in the halls of wingnut derpitude. And thanks to the alicurati, one and all, for making this the one site I can't live without.
TO ROY AND TO YOUSE GUYS AND TO NORMAL PEOPLE EVERYWHERE: Merry Christmas!
TO THE WAR-ON-CHRISTMAS FROTHERS: "Happy holidays".
TO MY JEWISH FRIENDS: Patience, comrades. He might have been born today, but in 33 years you can get the Italians to nail His ass to a cross again. If you can beat me to it, because my own proposal, assuming the stars are rightly aligned, is...
CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH 2046: JESUS vs. CTHULHU
And now, to add to the holiday cheer, pray let me favor you with this festive caroling:
Thanks, Roy; and Merry Christmas to all from Bangkok, where "Jingle Bells" still rules the airwaves, the department stores, and the massage parlors. Or so I've been told, about the massage parlors.
I want to thank everyone here, as well. And also Kia and Roy because they are both such incredible people. I have enjoyed Roy's posts and Kia's insights for many years now, and they are as much a part of my day as any actual people. Wait. That came out wrong. But, alas, its true!
Roy and Kia, you've brought the magic to the season. Thank you for exposing yourself to nigh-lethal doses of wingnut radiation day after day on our behalf. Alicurati, thank you for providing sparkle and wit to our absurd world.
That vid's been bookmarked since YouTube recommended it for me. (Until I was sure I had 19:45 during which I could concentrate.) Yikes, a v. young Mike Snider w/ "Be your Dog" at (2:22)!!
Is Momus like Levy's Rye Bread? Or do you have to be Jewish to like him? Although that "Jews from Space" does cut a little close to the boner, if you get my drift.
Of course, "Jingle Bells" is not a Christmas song, it's basically about 19th Century drag racing. It was rock-n-roll before rock-n-roll, and we need to reclaim it for wild people.
Don't sweat it, there are plenty of myrrh sales out there, and you don't have to get his present to him until Three Kings Day because, like all guys named Jesus, he's Latino.
It was Christmas Eve, babe, at the New Rep, A gauche man said to me, "That's central to my point." And then he sang a song, a turgid tune by Rush. I turned my face away and dreamed about you. Got on the gravy train, no need to use my brain. I have a feeling, that I will start to spew. So happy Christmas, you godless heathens. I can see better times, when I can jail you!
They've got fake wars on things, they have purity rings, They've got teabagger rallies where Lloyd Marcus sings. When I first lost my mind and became a wingnut, I became obsessed by gay sex in the butt. You were mad, you were nutty, we called MIss Fluke slutty, When Ted Nugent was playing, the crowd howled for blood. Obama was winning, the gays were all sinning. We wrote for the Corner, and shilled for the right.
The checks that we lined our pockets with were coming from the Kochs, And the comment threads were full of racist jokes!
At the time i was working for Old Murdoch And he was the cheapest bastard whose ass I ever kissed and you always had to do it while he boffed Rebekah Brooks and she reached in and gave his swollen prostate a twist.
The next time I see you we'll be at Chik-Fil-A, We’ll be banning abortion and birth-control pay, But gays gittin’ married will make us all bawl; What, this? Ain’t no butt-plug, it’s just a duck-call.
And a merry Christmas to you, Roy! Thanks for all your work throughout the year!
ReplyDeleteAnd a special happy holidays to all the commentariat here at Roy's place. A wittier, funnier, more intelligent gathering you'll not find anywhere on the web. Love ya, guys and gals!
Right Back Atcha!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZatlbnzDLgg
~
I second every last single point...
ReplyDeleteThank the FSM for Roy and for the rest of you, xoxox.
Merry Fucking Xmas, Hilarious Bastards, one and all!
...
I've enjoyed the year with everyone here -- you're all a bunch of crazy geniuses. Especially Roy -- Merry Christmas to you, Roy. You've really earned it.
ReplyDeleteNow let's all put the X in Xmas!
Let me add to the cheer:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYdpte1W0vk
Wait--Jesus Christ was born TODAY? Fuck, I didn't get Him anything.
ReplyDeleteMerry Xmas, all. Ten thousand thousand thanks to our genial host, for all the punishment, mental and emotional, he endures for our sake in the halls of wingnut derpitude. And thanks to the alicurati, one and all, for making this the one site I can't live without.
Have a bad Christmas!
ReplyDeleteWho needs Christmas cheer when you can have Christmas cheese?!
ReplyDeleteMerry Happy to All!
TO ROY AND TO YOUSE GUYS AND TO NORMAL PEOPLE EVERYWHERE: Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteTO THE WAR-ON-CHRISTMAS FROTHERS: "Happy holidays".
TO MY JEWISH FRIENDS: Patience, comrades. He might have been born today, but in 33 years you can get the Italians to nail His ass to a cross again. If you can beat me to it, because my own proposal, assuming the stars are rightly aligned, is...
CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH 2046: JESUS vs. CTHULHU
And now, to add to the holiday cheer, pray let me favor you with this festive caroling:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLzgf-4hEu4
Thanks for shoving "Merry Christmas" down my throat, Roy!!!!1!
ReplyDeleteHave a swell holiday and Merry Christmas, everybody.
Peace.
Merry Chrustchove, Randolf old pal buddy.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Roy; and Merry Christmas to all from Bangkok, where "Jingle Bells" still rules the airwaves, the department stores, and the massage parlors. Or so I've been told, about the massage parlors.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsA1-pS5UGs
ReplyDeleteOh well. Next year we will be victorious for sure.
ReplyDeleteBest. Christmas song. EVER.
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/j9jbdgZidu8
Was that video supposed to be as creepily disturbing as it was?
ReplyDelete+10
ReplyDeleteI want to thank everyone here, as well. And also Kia and Roy because they are both such incredible people. I have enjoyed Roy's posts and Kia's insights for many years now, and they are as much a part of my day as any actual people. Wait. That came out wrong. But, alas, its true!
ReplyDeleteHear hear.
ReplyDeleteRoy and Kia, you've brought the magic to the season. Thank you for exposing yourself to nigh-lethal doses of wingnut radiation day after day on our behalf. Alicurati, thank you for providing sparkle and wit to our absurd world.
ReplyDeleteNow let's gird our loins for 2014.
You say "creepily disturbing", I say "delightfully affecting", let's call the whole thing art.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we should chip in for a Hazmat suit...
ReplyDeleteI third that...
ReplyDeletei used to think Momus was about the shock of the new. Now he's like an ancient moralist (Sung dynasty?). The austerity of his work is unsettling.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6cxdRGAdm0
For all with children...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iiw_4mSZ8Sk
That'll clear the palate, and the room as well.
ReplyDeleteThat vid's been bookmarked since YouTube recommended it for me. (Until I was sure I had 19:45 during which I could concentrate.)
ReplyDeleteYikes, a v. young Mike Snider w/ "Be your Dog" at (2:22)!!
Maybe we can try again ... http://youtu.be/prq75nBe-cQ
ReplyDeleteWishing all of you kittens & cats a New Yr.!
Love and joy come to you and to you your wassail too.
ReplyDeleteI could have been someone
ReplyDeleteWell so could anyone ...
The Reason for Yule is The Jesus of Cool!
ReplyDeleteHappy Christmas, you scalawags!
Is Momus like Levy's Rye Bread? Or do you have to be Jewish to like him?
ReplyDeleteAlthough that "Jews from Space" does cut a little close to the boner, if you get my drift.
This documentary about the song was a lot of fun.
ReplyDeleteRIP Kirsty MacColl, RIP Phil Chevron. Funny to think that Shane would outlive both of them.
And I thought I knew from creepily disturbing. At no point is contraception or safe sex even mentioned!
ReplyDeleteOf course, "Jingle Bells" is not a Christmas song, it's basically about 19th Century drag racing. It was rock-n-roll before rock-n-roll, and we need to reclaim it for wild people.
ReplyDeleteDon't sweat it, there are plenty of myrrh sales out there, and you don't have to get his present to him until Three Kings Day because, like all guys named Jesus, he's Latino.
ReplyDeleteCheeky Girls, I love you!
ReplyDeleteI frequently come here for a dose of sanity after seeing people talk about certain topics elsewhere on the Internet.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to you, Roy! And also any non-Roy individuals reading this!
It's like George Jones outliving Tammy, or William Burroughs moping around forever before he died. Some people just thrive on unhealth.
ReplyDeleteokay since we're doing this...
ReplyDeletemerry xmas and happy holidays gang.
It was Christmas Eve, babe, at the New Rep,
ReplyDeleteA gauche man said to me, "That's central to my point."
And then he sang a song, a turgid tune by Rush.
I turned my face away and dreamed about you.
Got on the gravy train, no need to use my brain.
I have a feeling, that I will start to spew.
So happy Christmas, you godless heathens.
I can see better times, when I can jail you!
They've got fake wars on things, they have purity rings,
They've got teabagger rallies where Lloyd Marcus sings.
When I first lost my mind and became a wingnut,
I became obsessed by gay sex in the butt.
You were mad, you were nutty, we called MIss Fluke slutty,
When Ted Nugent was playing, the crowd howled for blood.
Obama was winning, the gays were all sinning.
We wrote for the Corner, and shilled for the right.
The checks that we lined our pockets with were coming from the Kochs,
And the comment threads were full of racist jokes!
At the time i was working for Old Murdoch
ReplyDeleteAnd he was the cheapest bastard whose ass I ever kissed
and you always had to do it while he boffed Rebekah Brooks
and she reached in and gave his swollen prostate a twist.
If you give me ten pounds, I'll write you a post.
ReplyDeleteAnd Lowry call me early in the morning.
"I could have been someone"
ReplyDeleteI just wish I could be myself.
The next time I see you we'll be at Chik-Fil-A,
ReplyDeleteWe’ll be banning abortion and birth-control pay,
But gays gittin’ married will make us all bawl;
What, this? Ain’t no butt-plug, it’s just a duck-call.
You just want a chance to be yourself?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWUPixNTXLA