Here's an outtake I'll share with you late-night Real People -- from the Washington Times, "A side of Cuccinelli voters don’t get to see; reluctant politician fan of ‘Rapper’s Delight’":
After record millions spent on TV advertising in Virginia’s governor race, Republican Kenneth T. Cuccinelli II finds himself in the unenviable position of knowing there’s a side to him voters haven’t experienced.
Portrayed by his opponents as a rigid social ideologue, he nevertheless can rap his own rendition of the Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” and is an unapologetic Monty Python fan.Funny, I'd thought his whole approach to women's issues was kind of a "is your wife a goer" hommage.
UPDATE. In comments: To the news that Cuccinelli loves "Rapper's Delight" and Monty Python, Haystack reasonably adds, "Him and 100,000 other annoying fratboys." Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard thinks Cuccinelli's favorite joint is actually "Raper's Delight." And smut clyde reacts to Walter Russell Mead's prediction, noted in my column, that "the real middle class will be driven out of the city bit by bit" under de Blasio: "Leaving behind the *spurious* middle class, who can recognised by the tell-tale trait of not agreeing with Mead. But the departure of the real middle class will make room for all those True Scotsmen."
I said at conception my life begun
ReplyDeleteAt the age of ten I knew it was sin
At the age of one - three it was you and me
Rockin' to the sounds of old JC
Everybody go "Sunday school megachurch"
"That's exactly why we want to be part of this campaign. To show the world
ReplyDeletethe true Cooch, the Cooch we love, the Cooch we know, the Cooch with a rap song in his heart."
Nudge as good as a wink to blind bat, know what I mean, know what I mean, burn in hell for all eternity ye harlot
ReplyDelete...nah, just not seeing it
SHE'S A WITCH! May we burn her?
ReplyDelete~
Yeah. Sure. As long as he can sorta recite some rap, and maybe parrot some Monty Python, I guess we can just overlook all the crazy horrible shit he wants to do once he has the power of t he governor's office in his hands.
ReplyDeleteEv'rybody say blue laws, new laws, vag-i-nal wand
ReplyDeleteIf your voters toss you out, they must have been conned.
Sadly the Heath Ledger Joker and the Tom Hardy Bane never got to team up onscreen. At least Daniel Greenfield has united them in his fanfic prognostications for New York.
ReplyDelete..his puppet-mistress, Alinskyite neo-Marxist Hillary Clinton...
ReplyDeleteMan, that's almost poetry. Vogon poetry, but just try reading it out loud: you'll be shouting by the end of the phrase. Keep a tissue handy to wipe up the spittle.
...about the recent election and how bummed it made the brethren. It's extra-long!
ReplyDeleteAnd extra delicious!
Ah, the old "I'm no racist -- look at my CD collection!" There's no way a guy who knows who the Sugarhill Gang is could ever have a racist motive for, say, proposing that Virginia no longer abide by the Voting Rights Act! Which is a thing Cucinelli proposed.
ReplyDeleteNo but seriously? I look forward to a day when GOP candidates do a better job of telling the voters how much they love rap. Maybe it can be part of their 2016 two-prong "War On Urban Poverty" -- the other prong being a series of announcements about how much they love basketball. Hear that, poors? The GOP is enthusiastically in favor of you bootstrapping yourselves out of the hood via rap stardom* or an NBA career!
*Unless your lyrics reflect a poor, urban, African-American life experience, in which case you will be accused of a truly evil effort to exploit anger in order to destroy America, just like the fascist you and your "President" Obama are.
Sounds more like Raper's Delight.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me while I rummage around for my puke bucket.
McAuliffe: 'Look, if you want to be a receptacle for male semen and not pay a price, I'm your guy.'"
ReplyDeleteCuccinelli fave, Master Gee: "You need a man man who's got finesse, And his whole name across his chest, He may be able to fly all through the night, But can he rock a party 'til the early light? He can't satisfy you with his little worm, But I can bust you out with my super sperm!"
I wonder where did Sarvis stood on the jizz issue?
A gip, a GOP, a gippie for the Gipper to a gip gip Gop and you don't stop.
ReplyDeleteAnd an ultrasound wand up your vagina.
ReplyDelete"Dear Penthouse..."
ReplyDeleteAw why do you people care about being able to vote when you can dance so good?
ReplyDeletePortrayed by his opponents as a rigid social ideologue, he nevertheless
ReplyDeletecan rap his own rendition of the Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” and
is an unapologetic Monty Python fan.
Him and 100,000 other annoying fratboys.
Got any non-male semen handy (so to speak)?
ReplyDeleteL'esprit de l'escalier: I could have called it the issue issue. D' oh!
ReplyDeleteDoes it make me a bad person that I am loving the vision of the post-apocalyptic, Stalinist nightmare the wingnuts are expecting de Blasio to inaugurate in New York? I kind of hoping he really does.
ReplyDeleteSounds more like Raper's Delight.
ReplyDeleteStop rapping people! Stop rapping people!
and maybe parrot some Monty Python
ReplyDeleteHe's bleeding demised.
Wingnut tears taste like candy.
ReplyDelete"The real middle class will be driven out of the city bit by bit," prognosticated Walter Russell Mead, "perhaps replaced in part by new waves of immigrants, but they too will head out as soon as they can."
ReplyDeleteAh, those wingnuts. Always with the finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist.
I left NYC reluctantly three years ago and came to the realization that I probably could never afford to go back with the way the city changed under Bloomberg. I'm hoping DeBlasio might be able to make it a more favorable place to live for the middle class again.
You know who ELSE was a great rapper?
ReplyDeletehttp://bit.ly/1gCqkdm
And don't forget how he thus won over the librul media!
the finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist
ReplyDeleteIf your geist has a pulse ur doin it rong.
The real middle class will be driven out of the city bit by bit
Leaving behind the *spurious* middle class, who can recognised by the tell-tale trait of not agreeing with Mead. But the departure of the real middle class will make room for all those True Scotsmen.
I'm already polishing my "Humongous" mask. I'm a reasonable man.
ReplyDeleteWell, female naval personnel used to be referred to as WAVES, but the term was dropped, and they are now just referred to as sailors.
ReplyDeleteHeh, "polishing the Humongous mask"...
ReplyDeletenew waves of immigrants, but they too will head out as soon as they can.
ReplyDeleteMead paints a terrifying picture of a future New York where people can afford to live, and have jobs, and can set some of their earnings aside as savings.
But no-one will want to live there long-term (presumably because of all those waves of immigrants), and when they have enough savings or qualifications, they will move to somewhere else with more expensive housing and fewer jobs. This scenario does not seem either coherent or particularly undesirable.
if you want to be a receptacle for male semen and not pay a price
ReplyDeleteThese rape-wand enthusiasts seem to have real issues with the possibility that sex could be consensual.
Awww! Misogynist god-bothering panty sniffers -- they're just like us!
ReplyDeleteWait, that can't be right. Joker and Bane are white dudes.
ReplyDeleteIf it's legitimate rap, the people have a way to shut that whole thing down.
ReplyDeleteThere's no way a guy who knows who the Sugarhill Gang is could ever have a racist motive for, say, proposing that Virginia no longer abide by the Voting Rights Act!
ReplyDeleteHe's also a big fan of Melle Mel's "White Lines."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBsE4ICwivA
ReplyDeleteI was really happy that Terry McCauliffe won the women's vote until I saw the breakdown of the exit polling. Cuccinelli won 54% of the white women's vote... 54 FUCKING PERCENT... in spite of being the guy who's holding the vaginal ultrasound wand, denying them contraception, and closing down women's health centers. Do white women in VA really identify with their abusers THAT much? I have no words...
ReplyDeleteFinally,,, WE get to play the "Anything To Piss Off A Wingnut" card. Take THAT, Ann Coulter!
ReplyDeleteJust an "e's" worth of difference.
ReplyDeleteAnd free! Those horrible women--not wanting to pay a price for sex, like Limbaugh has to.
ReplyDeleteJust to clarify, are you talking about alimony, or his infamous trip to the Dominican Republic?
ReplyDeleteI think, though I'm pretty much anumerical, is that the key issue is that single women, despite wanting so hard to be sperm recepticals for free, didn't turn out and vote. IIRC something like 17 percent of women aged 18-29 turned out to vote at all. Its the married white women who turn out to vote in midterms--possibly because they are retired or non working and have flexibility to go to the polls during the day, or because they are property owners and don't move frequently so they are used to going to the polls even on off year elections.
ReplyDeleteIt made me think about my own voting history as a single woman (I didn't settle down in one location at all until I was married and we bought a house, and even then we moved within a year and now have been living in one place for 16 years). I spent years where I moved twice in one year--ten times in ten years. I doubt very much if I even registered to vote if I were facing an off year or governor's election.
True, but still... I personally can't remember a time, except possibly during Viet Nam, when the issues were as starkly defined as they are today.
ReplyDeleteI wondered about that, too - I didn't vote until I was about 22. However, after the first time I voted, I voted every single time. Perhaps because I was in a labor union, and our local democratic party had a very active outreach effort. It was very important to me who was elected to city council, and other local offices.
ReplyDeleteCould anything be more hideously tone deaf than an appeal to youth culture the latest avatars of which, like my humble self, are in their fifties? And we were trailing edge of something that was already beyond old in the UK.
ReplyDeleteHe left off the Empire State Building! I was trying to remember which wingnut pundit it was who wrote, shortly after 9/11, that he, too, deserved some praise for his bravery in the line of fire, because his office was close to such a target for terrorism as the Empire State Building.
ReplyDeleteIt's so crowded nobody ever goes there anymore.
ReplyDeleteSure, but when I was clerking/inspecting the vote here a few times you always had very young people, or people who had recently moved, who literally ran in and demanded to be able to vote because the issues seemed so big to them (for example the actual 2008 election) and who were sincerely confused that you couldn't just vote without having registered.
ReplyDeleteA highly mobile population, a population that lives in rental property, a population that just left college, a population that has moved from a state where its easy to same day register to one that isn't, often finds out what the "defining issues" are rather late in the election cycle and then doesn't know how to register and then vote.
I'm not excusing these women, especially--I'm shocked, actually, but I am pretty sure that the reason unmarried younger women and married older women have different voting patterns is because they are tied to the community and to their voter registration differently. If you are already registered and have been for years that is one hurdle you don't have to overcome when you decide to vote because you are enraged and have suddenly realized how important the issues are to you.
...As the last burning pieces of what used to be you fall into the water, your last thought is...
ReplyDeleteYou gotta admit, that's a nice touch.
One of the many reliable traits of conservatism is its uncanny ability to remain a minimum of 10 years behind the culture. But I guess this is what happens when you skip an entire decade (the '60s).
ReplyDeleteNext up: Presidential front-runner Ted Cruz will explain to us just what, exactly, the fox says.
Its the married white women who turn out to vote in midterms--possibly because they are retired or non working and have flexibility to go to the polls during the day, or because they are property owners and don't move frequently so they are used to going to the polls even on off year elections.
ReplyDeleteOr, in other words, a voting bloc that tends to skew teabaggerish, and, as we know, teabaggers will vote for people who want to dismantle at least part of the social safety net if they think that it's the part that they don't need. Similarly, and present company is obviously excepted here, I think that there's a correlation to some degree between being of reproductive age and being interested in a woman's right to choose, if the age of protesters outside any random abortion provider is any indication.
For most of these guys, it's a tissue issue issue
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget the general demographics that produce higher turnout in older voters. I would imagine that women in their mid-to-late 60s and older in Virginia are much more likely to be staunch conservatives who would vote for anyone with an "R" after their name, regardless of how hideous the candidate's policies might be.
ReplyDeleteI only now just realized how much the version of Bane we see in The Dark Knight Rises is based on Humongous.
ReplyDelete"Unapologetic Monty Python fan"? How brave of him. I know whenever I meet someone who admits the same, I immediately think "you're an asshole" and contemplate stabbing them.
ReplyDeleteAre we sure it's spittle?
ReplyDeleteExactly. Which is why I always apologize before yelling, "Run away! Run away!" and screeching "baked beans are off."
ReplyDeletehis puppet-mistress,
ReplyDeleteChange that to "handpuppet-mistress," and we've got another texbook case of wingnut projection.
"Unapologetic Monty Python fan"? How brave of him.
ReplyDeleteHey, give him some credit. There's vulgarity, occasional nudity, mockery of organized religion ... I'm actually slightly surprised that he hasn't had to apologize to his fellow theocratic shitbags for being a Monty Python fan. Heck, when he tries a political comeback, I think he should be asked repeatedly just how much he enjoys Life of Brian.
Why are there apparently so many GOP politicians out there who apparently have never actually listened to the media they love?
ReplyDeletereluctant politician fan of ‘Rapper’s Delight’
ReplyDelete"Reluctant"? What, because as far as we know he never literally trampled anyone in his rush to file his paperwork? This bigoted asswipe has held political office since 2002. So good news for his peace of mind: He can officially fuck off back to the festering cesspool he oh-so-reluctantly bubbled up from. Or his alma mater George Mason. But I repeat myself.
Part of the tea party mythos is that politicans can't actually like or pursue politics. Usually, this takes the form of campaigning on their careers in upper management, but you're fine as long as once in a while you narrow your eyes, say "I'm only doing this for the good of the country" and feel the cleansing spirit of the Founding Fathers wash over you.
ReplyDeletethey're just like us!
ReplyDelete"Misogynist": Well, I'm more "misanthropic," but that includes women, so I suppose that's close enough.
"god-bothering": I admit it, I frequently ask the Lord in prayer, "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" Not to mention that time I rang His doorbell and ran away.
"panty sniffers": ... Wait, what have you heard?
Many middle and upper-class white Republican women seem to have have convinced themselves that they are going to retain easy access to abortion and contraception no matter what the law says. They don't perceive a genuine threat to their class-based privileges and prerogatives so they have nothing to lose by voting for a schmuck like Cooch.
ReplyDeleteRepublicans love rap music that's 25 years older or more.
ReplyDeleteI've heard he can't wait to get his hands on Michelle Obama's unreleased cassette-only demo.
ReplyDelete"I know whenever I meet someone who admits the same, I immediately think "you're an asshole" and contemplate stabbing them."
ReplyDeleteAh, so that's what your list is about. I'll start listing later, after a couple more smokes.
"I think, though I'm pretty much anumerical,"
ReplyDelete"Anumerical"? No you're No.1! Your the top, you're Mahatma Ghandi, you're the top, you're Amos and Andy.!
You simply cannot be sure, so it's best to be cautious. Sex is never safe!
ReplyDeleteThe Cooch! The Cooch! The Cooch is on fire!
ReplyDeleteRepublicans in general have this hilarious trait of demonstrating how hip and with-it they are by publicly embracing bands whose star faded more than a decade ago. See also: Paul Ryan's love of Rage Against The Machine, whose last album came out thirteen years ago.
ReplyDeleteTime to invest in bondage gear and hair-dye futures, I guess.
ReplyDeleteAh crap. I'm not big enough to be Humongous, or Blaster, and I'm not smart enough to be Master. I guess the answer to the question "Who runs barter town?" is never going to a rousing cry of "Helmut Monotreme!"
ReplyDeleteWhite lies...
ReplyDeleteI'd bet my last dollar that the members of Monty Python aren't too fond of the Cooch.
ReplyDeleteAh, thank you, Roy! Brave Sir Hugh.
ReplyDeleteThe Cooch was a great rapper! Fifteen presents he could wrap in an afternoon!
ReplyDeletePortrayed by his opponents as a rigid social ideologue, he nevertheless
ReplyDeletecan rap his own rendition of the Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight”
It's like that Thomas Frank book, The Conquest of Things That Were Cool Thirty Years Ago.
Yes, they also attract younger voters by recruiting hip new Hollywood stars like Clint Eastwood
ReplyDeleteI actually don't think that correlation is a good one--between age of protester and age of menopause. The people (male and female) who get out to protest at abortion clinics are people who are unemployed or underemployed enough to have the time--so they are often never-working women and older or retired women. They are also very much organized by Church affiliation so they skew older because, among other things, Catholic church membership skews older.
ReplyDeleteOlder women like myself, heading towards menopause or my mother, long past childbearing, are among the most passionately pro-choice because we remember, or were taught to remember, what life was like before contraception and legal abortion. I don't think the women who protest clinics protest because they don't remember or don't care about reproductive choice because they are past reproducing--they come from a class or a religious background that always saw sexuality and choice as dangerous.
rock on fire
ReplyDeleteUsually, this takes the form of campaigning on their careers in upper management...
ReplyDeleteFun Fact: Ronald Reagan never "ran a business."
Katz's Deli to replace pastrami sandwich with haggis.
ReplyDeleteConsider the dental care available post-apocalypse and start hoping you die early. Alternatively, study up on field dentistry and improvised anesthesia.
ReplyDeleteJust a union.
ReplyDeleteOr blancmange.
ReplyDeleteIs this a lost yiddishe version of Cole Porter?
ReplyDeleteUmm, Mr. Cooch, sir? I'm pretty sure you have the Sugarhill Gang confused with Sugarland...
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteChief Editor Korir is being stingy with it.
ReplyDeleteHear that, poors? The GOP is enthusiastically in favor of you
ReplyDeletebootstrapping yourselves out of the hood via rap stardom* or an NBA
career!
Virginia native Allen Iverson: "You might think that. I couldn't possibly comment."
"unapologetic Monty Python fan"
ReplyDeleteWhy would anyone want to apologize for being a Pythonian?
I wonder if his feelings for MP stem from the "Very Silly Party" sketch, wherein he recognized his beloved GOP...
Every politician has a hidden side you'd never guess at. Conservative-as-a-closet rapper is probably one of the less startling ones. Mostly, I suppose, because it's legal.
ReplyDeleteWhat I didn't get was how Batman could hit that metal mask so many times without breaking his hand...
ReplyDeleteIsn't it always?
ReplyDeletehe nevertheless can rap his own rendition of the Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight”
ReplyDeleteThis allows us to describe any of his staff and supporters who desert him at this point as 'shits leaving a sinking rap'.
He actually ran on a platform outlawing "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me."
ReplyDeleteI know she was never really pres secretary, but I'd prefer to watch CJ do The Jackal.
ReplyDeleteNot only that. I've had the impression that they've been playing out an especially poor version of their especially poor perception of normal people's reaction to W. To them we probably seemed to be all SKREE all the time back then, so they just figure (subconsciously, I'm generously guessing) that it's as good a plan as any.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't they understand that no means no?
ReplyDeleteObviously, Cuccinelli bought that Sugar Hill album way back then because he was secretly planning all along to run for Governor in 2013. Wheels within wheels, sheeple!
ReplyDeleteSpirit of the escalator? What?
ReplyDeleteNo doubt Cruz's fox will explain (foxplain?) to us that it's just dandy with seeing forest's stripmined and that the Endangered Species Act is outdated.
ReplyDeleteSomebody voted that down. Who knew there was a fratboy amongst us.
ReplyDeleteExcept for John Derbyshire. Being associated with Urban People and well past prime childbearing years it's got two strikes against it for him.
ReplyDeleteI want to upvote this, but I was hoping I'd never see that again. Ever.
ReplyDeleteDo white women in VA really identify with their abusers THAT much?
ReplyDeleteSadly, many consider themselves fortunate just to have found a bubba with a shiny F-150 to impregnate them. And I do mean sadly.
You eschewed the issue issue?
ReplyDeleteBecause they intend to win at Wimbledon.
ReplyDeleteSorry. I'm pretentious sometimes.
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27esprit_de_l%27escalier
There's always Mitt Romney's version of "Who Let the Dogs Out". Watching the kids' expressions waver between ingrained politeness and crawling horror is pretty good. Don't make the mistake of looking at Mittens, though, because at some point the fact that he's missing the target--badly--dawns on him, and you can see his upright Mormon resignation battle with the urge to order the ungrateful urchins hurled into a woodchipper. The Mormon resignation wins...but there's a struggle.
ReplyDeleteY'all can track it down yourself; I've had enough existential horror for one day.
That's GRANDMASTER Korir to you!
ReplyDeleteJust a quiet commendation to Weasel Zippers for tossing the win to ACORN.
ReplyDeleteWas he concerned about a terrorist attack against Fay Wray?
ReplyDeleteMany wimmens have become pregnatz *in* an F-150, but I dare say precious few have ever been embigulated *by* one. Though I've seen some kids...
ReplyDeleteAre the Weasel Zippers from *South* Carolina?
ReplyDeleteFor those of you scratching your heads...
"unapologetic Monty Python fan"
ReplyDeleteEspecially Rules 1, 3, 5 and 7, NO POOFTAHS.
Maybe he didn't get it.
ReplyDeleteThrowing it out there as dispositive is still just weird. Like "I'm a fun guy! I wear a lampshade on my head while carrying out my murderous schemes!" I think putting the rapper/monty python thing out there is really another form of projection on their part. They really think that "kids these days" don't like the Republican party because its the party of "serious dads" who aren't "down with those buggin' young kids and their slang and their hats." So the cure is not to change obviously crazy policies like being anti oral sex or anti abortion, but to insist that you are too fun.
ReplyDeleteThe reason why I suggest that its a form of projection is that they believe, as a matter of faith, that Democrats, liberals, and hippies don't have an alternate vision for society, or policy, or principle at all but just wanna have fun all the time. Clearly when people elected Terry Mac they were choosing a guy they wanted to have a monty python skit throwdown with, maybe rap a few bars of something something something. Yeah! Terry is the "youth choice"--like Palin was an obvious choice for the women's libbers because: vagina.
"They're probably right. They'll always have access to abortion and
ReplyDeletecontraception. But why should THEY pay for poors and minorities to sleep
around?"
I don't think that they will; I do think that's what they think. When they need an abortion, or a change in contraception (or their daughters.........), then they find out that the people banning this stuff are sincere. At that point, it's probably too late.
Tom Morello's response is great, especially as he makes the point that "Charles Manson loved the Beatles but didn't understand them. Governor Chris Christie loves Bruce Springsteen but doesn't understand him."
ReplyDeleteThe whole "reluctant" thing is a sour-grapes retcon. It's an after-the-fact attempt to pretend that he didn't want to ride the Tea Party bandwagon all the way to the White House.
ReplyDeleteHe's the goddamn Batman!
ReplyDeleteI have never been able to un-see it.
ReplyDeleteAlthough no longer the majority, a big chunk of Virginia voters are still typical confederate state god, guns and white supremacy voters. For the female half of that group, Cuccinelli's abortion stand is a plus. Run those cross tabs for just the blue counties in NoVA, Hampton Roads and Richmond and they'll look different.
ReplyDelete