...in which I advise the brethren to stop pushing the AP, IRS, and Benghazi "scandals" and start working on the stories that'll really get impeachment fever spreading!
UPDATE. I have to say, I'm enjoying the new preemptive rightblogger explanation for when they fail to find a signed note from Obama that says "Audit my enemies": that the President manipulated his staff into crime by "referent power," aka mind control. Maybe they should demand X-rays to see if he's human.
Shorter Roger L. Simon: Listen to me about Benghazi. I write movies, dammit!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Roy, on becoming the Voice's senior writer.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised no right-wingtard has made the connection with Rihanna - sang a song about an umbrella - got beaten up by her boyfriend, Obama - something something umbrella - ergo Obama is a wifebeater. Surely they can impeach him for beating up his wife?
ReplyDelete"The old ways -- that made us love him -- don't work anymore," she sighed.
ReplyDeleteThat made "us" love him? Who the fuck does Ann Althouse think she's talking to, anyway?
First they have to ask if he's stopped yet, natch.
ReplyDelete"Obama's protests don't square with millions of Americans," ass-pulled Bob Beauprez of Townhall.
ReplyDeleteSince those are the same "millions who would be mortally offended if Obama chose Coke over Pepsi (or even worse, Pepsi over Coke), I'm sure hes not losing much sleep about what squares with them.
These guys are missing the point of fantasizing about "going Bulworth". It's all about quitting your job and getting frictional with Halle Berry.
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"The left understand that talk of impeachment now would be a disaster,
ReplyDeletenot to the president, but to those building the case against him," he
whispered.
In 1973, there was a Doonesbury strip depicting two congressmen complaining about Nixon's dodging during the Watergate hearings. "if only he'd knock over a bank or something," one said.
Art imitates life. Real stupid life.
Now, Althouse's colleagues in the Psychiatry department get their turn at pointing and laughing/plausible deniability.
ReplyDelete(Does she know that [most] umbrellas end with a nipple-like point? Would knowing this break her brain?)
I love that there's a Bachmann for Congress ad on this very page calling for an Obamavestigation.
ReplyDeleteBut to the point, what's so phallic about an umbrella? Aren't they basically diaphragms against cloud-cum? Isn't that what Mary Poppins was all about?
It should have been Hagrid with a pink umbrella. Then they could have complained about Obama admitting to witchcraft. Or Mary Poppins, so they could complain about Obama needing protection from a furrin nanny. Or ... well, you get the idea.
ReplyDeleteBTW the regulation about Marines not carrying umbrellas is so they aren't seen holding umbrellas over _themselves_. I guess it's not manly enough.
I shall work to incorporate "diaphragms against cloud-cum" into my next haiku.
ReplyDeleteBTW the regulation about Marines not carrying umbrellas is so they aren't seen holding umbrellas over _themselves_.
ReplyDeleteIf the Marine Corps code of conduct disqualify them from providing a functional Honour Guard for their commander and a visiting head of state, I'm sure they can be replaced with some other branch of the armed forces.
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They want him to finally act black and start rapping.
ReplyDeleteSurely a marine guard needs to expect to get wet?
ReplyDeleteConservative and alt-conservative outlets groused about "the most transparent administration in history";
ReplyDeletelibertarian = alt-conservative
Thanks for that!
"It worked: The Romney campaign was cowed and accountability for the Benghazi massacre would have to wait many months."
ReplyDeleteDidn't cow FOX News. Didn't cow McCarthy's National Review. Maybe they should think about that.
By the way, you'd think people who imagine everything is explained by The Business Model would realize that the only way Mitt Romney was ever going to become President was via hostile takeover.
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WorldNetDaily said the investigations had "KNOCKED TEA PARTY OFF ITS MISSION" during the late election season
ReplyDeleteYes, they still had to pay taxes for a while longer.
Back when the Internet was young and Althouse first began stalking it, I was almost convinced that she was a psychological experiment to determine what degree of blog-crazy would cease to draw readers, i.e., the point of diminishing return on nuts. The result: there is no such point. Crazy can be infinite.
ReplyDeleteNo surprise this, but the Obama ooga-booga is rampant at Roy's wingnut links. It took the commenters at Moonbattery mere seconds to get to "monkey."
"President Obama and many others (including the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary) seem to confuse socialism with communism -- common ownership of the economy."
ReplyDelete:-o
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ReplyDelete~
Hostile takeover, eh? God knows it wasn't for lack of trying, but wingnuts just haven't been able to buy assault weapons fast enough to feel comfortable staging their coup... as in " You guys go ahead, I just need one more gun, and then I'm right behind you."
ReplyDeleteI wonder how much the "no umbrellas" stems from arcane prohibitions in the older branches of the military that employed pack horses and mules, and an umbrella would cause a mounted officer's horse to dump him and run the fuck away.
ReplyDeleteMy brother used to grouse about that rule when he was in the army.
Bet he's eating this shit with a spoon, though.
I see that someone else has already beat me to mentioning Bible Spice's flabbergastingly hypocritical FB post (another dismal milestone in her well-deserved slide into obscurity), and it's pretty obvious by now that as far as her regulars are concerned, Althouse's pseudo-Freudian rants aren't a bug, they're a feature, so I'll go all OT up in this shiznizzle and submit for your pontificational needs Conor Friedersdorf's bit in the Atlantic about extreme kink, in which he somewhat reluctantly comes out in favor of consensual sex of any variety, as opposed to, you know, rape, although he'll have you know that he draws the line at consensual bro-sis incest or--ack--mid-coital amputation. (FFS, literally.) Friedersdorf seems to be so assiduously staking out turf as a young conservative-posing-as-reasonable-centrist that he should probably change his name to David Brooks, Jr.; he tips his hand, not in disagreeing with Rod Dreher (whose opinion on the matter is exactly what you'd expect), but in the fact that he thinks that Crunchy is worth paying attention to in the first place.
ReplyDeleteErika Johnsen of Hot Air malkinned
ReplyDeleteis this a new formulation? and either way, bravo.
Some rightbloggers have tumbled to this; in fast, Da Tech Guy actually suggested that liberals have been trying to trick rightbloggers into talking about impeachment now in order to mess up the real impeachment that can have if they only show a little patience.
ReplyDeleteAh, so it's a dolchstosslegende, only with a "kick-me" sign instead of a knife.
Yeah but Michelle Obama is a man because something something arms and also she eats broccoli.
ReplyDeleteI know the answer is that she's just a liar, but I really want someone to force Althouse to deal with the discrepancy between her 'concerned moderate' act and the mouthbreathers who comment on her blog.
ReplyDeleteIf they didn't already lose their shit over the onion rings they're either mercifully unaware of her or better men than i.
ReplyDeleteSo... iirc, those pics of people dragging Chris Stevens body are of non-assholes dragging him to the fucking hospital. Thanks wingnuts, for reminding us that you're dumb racists first and foremost.
ReplyDeleteAlmost word-for-word what you'd expect: Yet America's secular individualism offers "no firm ground on which to stand to condemn this barbarism," Dreher continues, and "no basis to call it barbarism."
ReplyDeleteNot that feminism by definition would call it barbarism, but Rod, if you're looking for a place to start in secular individualist America....
I would like to smack this comment around in a display of love and caring.
ReplyDeleteAlthouse: "The gentle, slow-talking, stalling with 'uhs' for Woody Allen-like timing..."
ReplyDeleteTranslation: Hey, *I* can do this Peggy Noonan pundit-with-a-feminine-touch wheeze, too! She's got to retire sooner or later, right?
(OK, McCarthy was being sloppy - it was the campaign's media lackeys who did the pummeling, by harping on that story about how Romney pulled off a classmate's hijab once back in high school.)
ReplyDeleteNo, it was sheltering empty space I guess
ReplyDeleteSo she was under the umbrella.
Not to mention the fact that the alleged "cover-up" on Benghazi lasted a grand total of some 2 weeks, and the facts regarding what happened were on the record a month or more prior to the election.
ReplyDeleteIf Republicans weren't able to spin gold out of that straw with a month to go in the election, it's because there wasn't any gold in it.
Thank goodness Obama didn't seek to shelter from the rain under Jessica Valenti's breasts, or Althouse would currently be experiencing a China-syndrome meltdown.
ReplyDeleteWhy does that sound like: Everyone else got fired?
ReplyDeleteMaybe marine guards are covered in anti-fouling paint.
ReplyDeleteHootergate?
ReplyDeleteIs he staking out his turf as David Brooks fils, or is he trying to impress his readers with his worldly attitude towards teh sexxy?
ReplyDelete"I know about extreme kink, therefore, I'm, like, totally balling a ton of hotties."
David Dayen at Salon:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.salon.com/2013/05/16/the_real_irs_scandal_targeting_by_class/
=>There is one alternative explanation. Johnston explained that the IRS budget has shrunk 17 percent since 2002. And yet Congress has loaded on the agency more responsibilities, between the Affordable Care Act, orders to deal with offshore accounts, and other matters. This has only grown worse with the indiscriminate 5 percent sequestration cuts. “There’s no way they can do all these things they’ve been asked to do,” Johnston said. “Imagine if the head of Nordstrom announced in November that they would eliminate half the store clerks right before Christmas shopping season. Everyone would say that’s bad. But that’s what Congress did to the IRS.” And this is true of the nonprofit division in particular.<=
~
The really bizarre thing is, not only did she not cease to draw readers, but she managed to draw one of them into her pants.
ReplyDeleteI'd apologize, folks, but I'm heavily invested in Brain Bleach futures.
Well, after the repeal of DADT, that's a distinct possibility- after all, the president is not an unattractive man.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to Ted Cruz issuing a subpoena to Halle Berry and attempting to get her to confess to....to..
ReplyDeleteUnforgivable afroliciousness?
scoffed Scott Johnson of Power Line. There was real terrorism in those days!
ReplyDeleteYou said it. In those days, jihadists weren't constrained by political correctness run amok. If they wanted to kill 3000 people, they by god went ahead and did it!
WSJ's James Taranto even suggested that Obama had only won in 2012 because some people in revolutionary war costumes thought they might have to pay taxes and therefore withdrew from what was sure to be a successful battle to save America from the Kenyan Pretender.
ReplyDeleteHello, these are the knuckleheads who caused the GOP to fail picking up a seat in Delaware in 2010. Fuckers would've backed Santorum, and the general election would have been more of a rout.
No REAL man would willingly eat broccoli!
ReplyDeleteAnd another thing....
ReplyDelete...I'm having a hard time understanding why the IRS thing is even considered a "scandal." So some groups were singled out by the IRS for extra scrutiny? The IRS singles out individuals/companies/groups for extra scrutiny every day. Usually this singling out results in a lot of extra work on the part of those singled out, and quite often, a significant amount of money goes towards either defending the audit or/and paying additional taxes and/or fines.
My understanding is that the extra scrutiny in this case was applied to determining whether or not some groups who claimed to be non-partisan charitable organizations were, in fact, non-partisan charitable organizations for the purpose of designating a preferential tax status. And since this was in regard to establishing tax status rather than an audit, there were no financial records to review, no books to go through, etc etc - they were simply asked to supply additional information supporting their legitimacy as non-partisan charitable organizations. Because of the requests for additional information, some of these groups waited longer for their tax-exempt status to be approved.
Just a few notes: first, isn't the start-up the best time to sort out whether a group really is a non-political charitable organization? Second, the IRS doesn't exactly move with great speed on any charitable tax status applications. And third, can these groups demonstrate actual damages as a result of being more closely scrutinized? Because an argument of "all this slow-walking of our application resulted in us not being able to collect as much money to support our candidate in the election!" is not exactly conducive to a claim of being a non-partisan charitable organization. Finally, if such damages cannot be shown, there's no "there" there - just another conservative freak-out tantrum.
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ReplyDeleteOh, but because he's a poseur and a pretender to the throne, he can't actually be commander-in-chief. That's the dominant thinking here. And, of course, like Clinton, he was never in the military (and he's nominally a Democrat), so, he by definition has no respect for the military.
ReplyDeleteThis nonsense began during the 1946 House campaign, and the right wing has never let up since. There are infinite variations on it, but it still comes down to the Repugs working the refs for all they're worth to keep Democrats down and militarism up. And it's probably never going to go away, because, unfortunately, at some subliminal level, it works.
It appears that the whining right-wing brigade wants those who were using non-profit status to raise money for Republican campaigns to be excused from defrauding the nation because the IRS noticed that that was the trend, which it was.
ReplyDeleteThe options seem to be
ReplyDelete(1) Obama and Turkish PM bring and carry their own umbrellas. INSULT TO HONOURED FOREIGN DIGNITARY.
(2) Obama brings umbrella, holds it over Turkish PM. OBAMA TRUCKLES TO MUSLIN.
(3) Honour Guard do their feckin' job and handle the keeping-water-off-dignitary responsibility.
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Oh, haven't you heard the latest right wing urban legend? Chris Stevens was tortured before he died... TORTURED, I tells ya!!! Never mind that that particular fantasy was debunked by Snopes, and that no reputable news outlet has credited that story. Also too in wingnut land... since Stevens was gay, Obama is doubly culpable for deliberately sending a gay ambassador to a Muslim country where he would be in even more danger. While it's nice to see such concern among the brethren for the gay members of our diplomatic corps, somehow, in this case, their sincerity is, shall we say, suspect.
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And it turns out that NO winger groups actually lost their tax exemption, while Emerge America, a progressive group dedicated to grooming and training women for elected office, DID lose its exemption. Hmm... you'd think that that's the sort of thing a liberal media might complain loudly about... or at least... you know... report.
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After reading that comments section, I can't get the word "jackanapes" out of my head.
ReplyDeletesaid liberals pictured here.
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They have to hold an umbrella over her, because if she looks up at the falling rain, she'll get hyp-motized and drown.
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ReplyDeleteJust like with the wingnuts, Thomas, the fact that something happened that you don't like doesn't make it "scandalous." FWIW, I'm not thrilled about the idea of the government snooping though phone records; I also wasn't thrilled about it when they did it to us several years ago, when the telecoms meekly just handed the records over because they were asked to do so. The difference is, when they were snooping through our records, they were doing it without a warrant and the press didn't get all that worried about it, because it was the GOP daddies doing the snooping and our press loves their GOP daddies. In this case, DOJ had a court order - it had already passed muster with a judge before they looked at anything. It's kind of hard for something that's not illegal and has gone through the proper oversight to be a "scandal" in the true sense of the word. But since it's the press' ox being gored, and because it's not being gored by their protector GOP daddies, now the completely legal becomes "scandalous," whereas before, the completely illegal was "no big deal" because they apporved of the guys doing it and it wasn't targeted at them.
ReplyDeleteThen again, perhaps I'd be more worried about protecting the freedom of the press if they were doing anything useful with it. Personally, I find it a bit hard to get worked up over the idea that a bunch of tools who'd rather report on Kim Kardashian's pregnancy weight gain than anything of any value might have had their phone records scrutinized after they were legally obtained.
No umbrellas - Obama insults foreign head of state by making
ReplyDeletehim stand out in the rain.
ReplyDeleteIt's worse, some say he was raped before he was killed.
ReplyDeleteA warrant based on probable cause for Rosen and a valid subpoena to a grand jury for the others. The press has the same right as you or I, no more no less
ReplyDeleteAt maximum the AP case, it's a matter of abuse of discretion. They do a have a legal right (see above) to sift through months of
phone records, [Where do you get months, I heard it was 20 phone calls.
Except Bush did it extra-judicially by bypassing the FISA court or any court altogether.
ReplyDelete"Some say..."
ReplyDeleteWell, there ya go. No further confirmation is necessary.
I tend to agree the AP scandal should be an actual scandal and the Obama Administration has generally behaved barbarically toward leakers, but there's no need for calling people very nasty names there in your last sentence.
ReplyDeleteIt is the opposite of "reality conservative" which like the dodo, is just a big stupid bird.
ReplyDeleteTheir Gadton flag will have to say "Don't tread on us, we are a community."
ReplyDeleteSSSHHHH, you're fucking up the media's meme.
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assault weapons don't easily bolt onto hoverounds apparently. the wingnut revolution would be thwarted by stairs.
ReplyDeleteUnFuckingBrellas? Really? This is supposed to resemble something, something, Waterloo?
ReplyDeleteWe have passed the point where the clown car is driving the steam engine and forgot to replenish water at the last opportunity, while continuing to stoke the fire.
This can only end one way. When this metaphorical engine explodes, it will not fuck over only the clown car, but every passenger on the fucking train.
Little orphan WineBoxAnnie teaches law at a big ten school, yet demonstrates time and time again like her SEC counterpart a complete unfitness for the job.
Self awareness joins Irony, Shame, Empathy, any shred of Decency in a Dumpster within a couple hundred feet of K street.
...
As long as you're suffocating between them, two would do the trick.
ReplyDeleteMerely being subjected to scrutiny is enough of a scandal for them. It's like conservatives' reaction to the TSA; they were all for it when it was targeting young brown guys, but the minute a gloved hand tousles their own balls, it's a constitutional scandal.
ReplyDeleteEvery time a rightblogger talks about the Marines, you can tell they're just ACHING to go on a dick-sucking rampage in the nearest barracks.
ReplyDeleteWhat they really want is a military junta / theocracy, where somehow (despite real demographics) all the soldiers look like extras from "Triumph of the Will"...