Thursday, April 18, 2013


Yeah, I wouldn't sign it either.

UPDATE. They finally put Kevin Williamson's name on it -- guess he drew the short straw.


  1. Wait a minute -- I thought Seth MacFarlane was the one who's worse than Hitler.

  2. tigrismus2:47 PM

    The requirements for a moral license are obviously tougher than those for a gun license, but even so I'm pretty sure Giffords passes the background check.

  3. aimai2:47 PM

    Well, I'd be struck speechless but that isn't like me. Its pretty much something, though. Yes, I think we can put that down as...something.

  4. Bizarro Mike2:50 PM

    By opposing gun control legislation, we give everyone the opportunity to have the sort of moral growth that Ms. Giffords experienced after being shot in the head. And especially, by not preventing lunatics from owning guns, we extend the benefits of these moral lessons to all Americans within range.

  5. Tudor Jennings2:53 PM

    Those comments are hilarious.
    Mind you, I'm nowhere near you guys.

  6. Jay B.3:13 PM

    A Note about the National Review:

    Knobgobbling lead-filled ejaculate on behalf of the NRA and other various cretins who would literally shoot "skeet" live babies if there was money in it, certainly pisses me off endlessly, but since you guys are individually and collectively assholes and moral monsters on every fucking sentient human level — including the rhetorical and factual, as you so aptly prove in your "Note about Gabby Giffords" — I say that everyone, including ex-Congresswomen and hobos and priests and most incarcerated rapists, has the moral license to call you assholes.

  7. Are they trying to make moral abomination into a sport? Why? They've already won the gold medal.

  8. No he's just an unfunny hack. Which, while a serious crime... eh, boredom calls.

  9. BigHank533:27 PM

    Odd, isn't it, how everyone at National Review who wet their trousers on September 11 felt qualified to issue dictums concerning 20% of the worlds' population and several sovereign nations.

  10. montag23:29 PM

    "... childish display...." ???

    Y'know, that's not just stroking the gun nuts, that's sucking `em off in broad daylight.

  11. tinheart3:32 PM

    As the joke goes, "We've already established that. Now we're just haggling over the price."

  12. I think you just made a perfect headshot.

  13. aimai3:41 PM

    "Childish display?" Why don't they call her retarded? They already have. The woman was a congresswoman, for fuck's sake. If a former legislator is not definitionally entitled to weigh in on public policy that has personally affected her who the fuck should? Its not like she's a former exterminator suddenly catapulted to political prominence, or a football player.

  14. Jay B.3:44 PM

    And these poor, high-minded idealists at the National Review, being offended by the use of the word "childish", how can Giffords sleep at night, knowing her moral license is being questioned by the people who employ Jonah Goldberg?

  15. Cargo3:48 PM

    The only way we will get sensible gun restrictions passed is if Muslims everywhere start buying guns.

  16. calling all toasters3:54 PM

    Apparently the only kind of accident that gives one "special grace to pronounce upon public-policy [sic] questions" is what they have in their pants every time they pass a dark-skinned male.

  17. She has ladyparts! It's icky and confusing!

  18. JennOfArk4:05 PM

    And blahs. Don't forgt the blahs. Preferably blah Muslims.
    Several months ago I posted a lengthy rant at my shitty little blog regarding the whole gun issue, making the primary point that gun policy in this country is entirely controlled by the paranoid...a group of fringe nuts who believe that they need guns because any minute the evil gubmint might pass an intolerable new food labeling requirement, or helmet or seat-bealt law and they will be forced, forced I tell you!!!, to take up arms to defend their FREEDUMB!! And that the fact that they believe they're going to fight off the awesome power of the US military, with its targeted missiles, drones, fighter jets, etc etc etc with their little Bushmaster pea shooters merely indicates the serious depths of their delusion and marks them out as the very people you most don't want to have access to lethal weapons. And that while I wasn't sure exactly what number of children needed to be slaughtered in the cause of soothing the paranoid delusions of the fringe, that the number was obviously > 20.
    Dead kids don't give them any pause, so perhaps Muslims with guns are the answer.

  19. Oh, fuck, I just realized... That was a seriously bad way of putting it. Or perversely appropriate.

  20. Its not like she's a former exterminator suddenly catapulted to political prominence, or a football player....

    Or a plumber....

  21. Oy, the comments. I just...I mean...I can't...oh fuck it.

  22. Halloween_Jack4:24 PM

    And what are, say, Jonah Goldberg's qualifications to pontificate on anything at all? His mom forgetting to put the sponge in?

  23. Halloween_Jack4:27 PM

    Totes worth it for href="

    Kevin Williamson rokkitman • 19 minutes ago

    I suppose you'll accede to everything Ronald Reagan ever wanted--he got shot, too. And while we're at it, Pope John Paul II got shot--you're going to be a good Catholic now, right?0


    Share ›

    willi0000000 Kevin Williamson • 2 minutes ago

    i will not accede to everything Ronald Reagan ever wanted. i might be willing to give additional weight to his views on gun control because he was shot. victims usually have a unique view of the circumstances.

    As governor of California, Ronald Reagan
    signed the Mulford Act, which prohibited the carrying of firearms on
    your person, in your vehicle, and in any public place or on the street,
    and he also signed off on a 15-day waiting period for firearm purchases.
    After leaving the presidency, he supported the passage of the Brady
    bill that established by federal law a nationwide, uniform standard of a
    7-day waiting period for the purchase of handguns to enable background
    checks on prospective buyers. He urged then President Bush to drop his opposition to the bill.
    that, from the Baltimore Sun, last year.

  24. Thanks for this, it gave me a glimmer of hope. [sets down syringe full of horse tranquilizer, contacts post office and has them restart mail delivery]

  25. Davis4:42 PM

    Don't forget, Governor Ronald Reagan was in favor of more gun control because of the Black Panthers (the NRA, too).

  26. smut clyde4:44 PM

    Take that, James "Handgun Violence Prevention Act" Brady!

  27. Davis4:45 PM

    "While Ms. Giffords has my sympathy..." Fuck you; I don't believe it.

  28. "Return of the Turd", this year on the CW!

  29. smut clyde4:53 PM

    I applied for a poetic license but failed the background checks.

  30. Jay B.5:02 PM

    Finally, a little brainteaser:

    Try to bemoan the use of the word "cowardly" as unworthy of public debate while calling the person "childish" without being one of the biggest dickheaded hypocrites in the history of two consecutive fucking sentences.

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  32. satch5:03 PM

    Although I usually respect Ed Schultz, I listened to him for over two hours today blatting on about how Obama should have "respected" red state Dems and rural "gun culture" folks by asking them what they could support and "working with them" more to craft a bill that would have gotten more Senate votes. The more I pay attention to the issue, the more convinced I am that there was nothing Obama could have done to make the bill more palatable to these people. Thanks to the basic design of the Senate, where states having populations less than Pittsburgh have representation equal to California and New York, nothing will change unless the filibuster rules are changed, we get a Dem House, and a Newtown-type tragedy happens in Bismarck, Pierre, or Missoula. Good on Obama, at least, for calling out the NRA for the liars they are.

  33. tigrismus5:06 PM

    Yeah, someone in the comments there mentioned ad hominem. By Giffords.

  34. tigrismus5:09 PM

    I blame correption.

  35. Jay B.5:11 PM

    I'd like to hear from the inanimate carbon rod before making a judgment on Goldberg's qualifications.

  36. Jay B.5:14 PM

    Actually, it makes me angrier than ever, especially since that withered old fucking douchebag didn't support the Brady Bill when he WAS President. I had forgotten about that one. God, he was awful.

  37. Jay B.5:15 PM

    I have a License to Ill, if you want to borrow it.

  38. satch5:16 PM

    These maroons never tire of nattering on about protecting themselves from the eeevil gubmint, but don't seem able to comprehend at all the "Well regulated militia" part of the sacred Second Amendment, or the spelling out of the duties of the militia in Article 1, Section 8; which are, for those who slept through high school civics: To execute the laws of the Union, suppress insurrections, and to repel invasions.

  39. smut clyde5:21 PM

    I remember a Malkinjihad from back in the days. Not the first, and of course not the last. IIRC, a group of widows of NY firemen in the wake of 9/11 took issue with the idea that the best way to commemorate the heroism of the firemen was to curtail civil liberties and bomb people in the Middle East, and objected to their loved ones being coopted as backgrounds for recruitment posters.

    The Flying Monkeys were invoked and "New York Widows" became a term of abuse in Malkin circles, because again these women were abusing their moral high ground. Moral bullies, SKREEEE.

    The central argument was the same... it is not fair for these people to advocate policies with which we disagree, when they have the moral authority to make them unassailable; thus their moral authority is forfeit and it is OK for us to assail them with invective and shit-flinging.

  40. BigHank535:23 PM

    To execute the laws of the Union, suppress insurrections, and to repel invasions.

    Where's the fun in wanking over that?

  41. Please don't make me think of Goldberg and spongeworthiness at the same time. That way madness lies. And by madness I mean explicit "fan"-fic of Jonahs conception. Don't tempt me.

  42. montag25:48 PM

    Almost makes one nostalgic for the days when they were getting bug-eyed over blowjobs, doesn't it?

  43. Derelict5:59 PM

    And that, in a nutshell, is the entire rightwing armamentarium of argument. Whether it's saying that a former congresswoman who was shot in the head has no moral stature to speak about gun violence, or that the widows of victims of mass violence have no moral standing to speak against mass violence, or that the victim of a horrible disease like Parkinson's has no moral authority to speak about stem-cell research, the rightwing reply is always thus.

  44. Derelict6:03 PM

    Well, I guess that because Ronnie lived through it, and so did Brady, Reagan saw no need to actually follow through. Then again, who knows if he wasn't already waaaayyy into dementia at that point.

  45. Derelict6:06 PM

    It works this way: Because Giffords was shot, the issue is "too personal" for her and thus disqualifies her opinion. Conversely, anybody who advocates for stricter gun control measure who hasn't been shot has no idea what they're talking about because they've never been shot.

    Kinda makes political argument impossible, but that's a feature, not a bug, as far as Conservatives are concerned.

  46. AGoodQuestion6:08 PM

    Kevin Williamson? If I were a really big Dawson's Creek fan I'd be heartbroken!

  47. AGoodQuestion6:10 PM

    They're probably using the "I didn't vote for her" dismissal, whether or not they live in her district.

  48. AGoodQuestion6:12 PM

    Yeah, could I? There's a big fight for my right to party coming up.

  49. smut clyde6:13 PM

    sets down syringe full of horse tranquilizer

    Umm, you gonna finish that?

  50. smut clyde6:16 PM

    This is exactly why abortion policies should be determined by men, who have no personal stake and can be trusted to reason objectively.

  51. whetstone6:21 PM

    If "being shot in the head" doesn't give you "special grace to pronounce upon public-policy questions," maybe being a fucking politician for a decade--you know, until she was shot in the head--does.

  52. smut clyde6:26 PM

    The review panel are all a buncha synecdouches anyway.

  53. whetstone6:31 PM

    Funny you should mention it. There's a reason Reagan supported gun control when he was governor, and it has to do with the Blah Panthers.

    There is nothing you can say about what Ronald Reagan did that cannot be made worse by something else he did.

  54. smut clyde6:35 PM

    already waaaayyy into dementia at that point

    The early signs were there, yes.

  55. harry cheddar6:51 PM

    Just because you've been shot in the head doesn't mean its okay to bleed all over the furniture. Some folks have no manners.

  56. Cato the Censor7:46 PM

    I also think that Kevin Williamson should be stripped, scourged, nailed to a cross, and shot a couple of times in the gut.

  57. M. Krebs7:55 PM

    Tea bagging the gun nuts.

  58. M. Krebs8:00 PM

    He has no qualifications. That's what makes him qualified. Otherwise he couldn't be objective.

  59. Mr. Wonderful8:14 PM

    Meaning, asserting opinions regarding something of which they had no personal experience.

  60. redoubt8:54 PM

    it should be noted that being shot in the head by a lunatic does not
    give one any special grace to pronounce upon public-policy questions

    . . .nor does putting crosshairs "surveyor's marks" on the aforementioned person's district give you "special grace" to pronounce on anything.

  61. Derelict8:59 PM

    I'd would like to discuss various objectives with this comment while we have dinner at a restaurant with unqualified reservations.

  62. KatWillow9:00 PM

    Trying to go platinum?

  63. KatWillow9:04 PM

    My wingnut Brother: "You were beaten nearly to death with a tire-iron, and I don't hear you calling for tire-iron control!"

    Me: (trying not to laugh): I would though, if there were an epidemic of tire-iron murders... how many, 10 per day in the USA, plus the occasional massacre? You bet I'd be screaming to outlaw tire-irons. (Brother scowls).

    ME: And so would you. You only oppose gun control because you think firearms are a type of "magical talisman" protecting your "freedom" from a Totalitarian government. Wrong!" (we part and go our separate ways).

  64. KatWillow9:07 PM

    Nope, they'll just get bigger and worse firearms. Because guns are MAGIC, especially white folks guns. Ask any cowboy in a TV show- their guns had an endless supply of bullets, AND they could kill a person from 20 yards with a revolver. That's good shootin'.

  65. KatWillow9:15 PM

    Why don't you buy a book of "famous quotes" and insert comments from it? And we'd all be better off. (I recommend Churchill, Lincoln, and Jane Austen)

  66. Mr. Williamson had his moral license revoked for writing under the influence of a subatomic-sized penis.

  67. KatWillow9:23 PM

    Yes, strange how their placing gunsights over GIffords' district was a harmless joke. But how DARE she speak out against easy access to deadly weapons after being shot with one?

  68. satch9:53 PM

    Maybe you should suggest that your brother go bear hunting with a tire iron. That'll level the playing field...

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  71. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume12:22 AM

    Yes, but he's wrong with such detail and care.

  72. Hattie12:38 AM

    Think about the kids you went to high school. That's the mentality of the people who run the world.

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  74. Tehanu2:13 AM

    "And that the fact that they believe they're going to fight off the
    awesome power of the US military, with its targeted missiles, drones,
    fighter jets, etc etc etc with their little Bushmaster pea shooters
    merely indicates the serious depths of their delusion..."

    Yeah, the embattled farmers defeated the British Empire with muskets -- which the British Empire soldiers also had -- therefore, today's embattled crazies will be able to defeat the modern U.S. Army with (gasp!) a few AK-47s. The part about being outgunned to the max doesn't seem to register with them. And their "Wolverines!" fantasies are equally stupid, because guerrillas need a sympathetic populace to hide among ... whereas, if it really came to that, the populace would be pretty much united in determination to fuck these assholes up bigtime, because their opponents would be their own people, not some imaginary eeeeevil furriners.

  75. What, they saw Glenn Reynolds getting justifiably condemned and they decided they just had to get in on that action? I liked the National Review crew better when they were only racist, plutocratic assholes.

  76. Aimai6:57 AM

    Does the phrase "object lesson" mean nothing to these people? If the murder victim and their families can't wave the bloody shirt who can?

  77. Not much of an influence, then. Or maybe its like negative and/or imaginary numbers--having an effect which ordinary people can't grasp.

  78. Teresa10:32 AM

    Snotty petulant arrogance is not an emotional response to a person that wishes one would just shut the f*ck up because only conservatives are "real men". They are the center of the universe and anyone who disagrees with them are just icky and childish.

  79. Halloween_Jack11:13 AM

    OT: Getting a malware warning on account of

  80. edroso11:25 AM

    Removed link. Don't know what happened with them.

  81. tinheart3:25 PM

    Clearly, Ms. Giffords should have apologized for getting in the gunman's way, like that nice Harry Whittington did with Dick Cheney.

  82. Interrobang3:52 PM

    This is why Smut should never be left to his own devices.

    Literary devices, that is. (SHUT UP, SMUT!) ;)

  83. mommadillo4:12 PM

    there was nothing Obama could have done to make the bill more palatable to these people

    Oh, I dunno - he could have offered to resign if it passed.

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  85. Derelict5:07 PM

    And don't forget that Hannity was on Fox proclaiming that MLK would be all for gun rights today if he hadn't been, you know, shot dead.

  86. Waffle_Man7:11 PM

    I'm conflicted here.

    On the one hand, I agree that being shot in the head by a lunatic doesn't give you "special grace to pronounce upon public policy questions" or "moral license to call people 'cowards'".

    On the other hand, that's because you don't need "special grace" or "moral license" to do those things; we live in a democracy. All of us are allowed to have opinions on public policy (and in some cases actually make it by voting on referendums), and we're all allowed to make moral judgments.

    It kind of bothers me that Giffords' Op-Ed doesn't actually make a case for her gun control policy. If you disagree with her on policy, that means you have an opening that allows you to rebut her on policy in a setting where you are the one introducing the facts and arguments.

    Or you could just ghoulishly complain about the fact that Giffords has opinions. Either way, I guess.

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  88. i feel the same way about john mccain.

  89. XeckyGilchrist8:59 PM

    The effect is not the only thing they can't grasp.

  90. glennisw9:47 PM

    And what does give one special grace to pronounce upon public policy, then? A byline at a wingnut welfare rag?

  91. An op ed isn't a policy paper--and don't make the mistake of thinking that the decision of her opponents was made on "policy" grounds. What Giffords and the President were pointing out is that the policy issues were thoroughly debated prior to the actual vote and that promises were made of support which various Republicans and the NRA reneged on. That's the cowardice--Senators presumably gave their word on certain amendments or the vote would never, ever, have come up. This battle won't be won logically, it won't be won with measured white papers--its going to be won slowly through the same kind of hyperbole, intolerance, mockery, and hard slogging work that Mother's Against Drunk Driving and the anti smoking lobby used. There's no point arguing logic with these ideologues. We are going to have to destroy them.

  92. Jimcima11:43 PM

    There are 30 gun murders per day in the US (11k annually) and about 87 daily gun deaths (murders+accidents+suicides).

  93. montag211:19 AM

    NRO's shifty bunch would say, "yes!" Which is, sort of, to paraphrase McLuhan, "the podium is the policy."

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  95. The next Republican candidate will be Chauncy Gardiner.

  96. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard5:03 PM

    Or, in this case, "the odium is the policy."

  97. It's not like the British had men to send to the colonies to fight angry tea smugglers. Their real army was needed elsewhere. That's why they hired Hessians.

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