Thursday, January 24, 2013


When you spend your days thinking up ways to entertain the Global Warming is a Hoax crowd, as Henry Payne of National Review's Planet Gore does, you sometimes have to go with thin gruel:
At Monday’s inaugural, President Obama declared global-warming mitigation a second-term priority. On Tuesday, a deadly arctic blast here in the Midwest was a reminder of how frivolous that pursuit is.
Haw haw cold snap Al Gore is fat! But wait, it gets better:
Saving polar bears may be fashionable among rich elites, but Detroit’s jammed shelters this week are evidence that cold weather threatens the poor among us. City shelters reported they were at capacity as the frostbitten homeless took refuge from the bitter cold... 
While Detroit’s needy freeze, millions of federal dollars are going to the politically connected well-to-do. Inside the Detroit Auto Show this week, billionaire Elon Musk — one of America’s richest men — is displaying his latest Tesla electric SUV for the well-to-do, financed by a half-billion dollars in federal loans... 
Washington pols may get good press for protecting polar bears — but the real climate victims are freezing in city shelters.
It's a measure of their devotion to AGW denial that they're actually willing to pretend concern for poor people in public shelters to advance it. Payne's not very convincing, though. Maybe NR should put Kathryn J. Lopez on the job, and tell her to imagine those freezing paupers are aborted fetuses.


  1. tigrismus9:37 AM

    Oh no, not loans!!! When did repayment stop being a defining characteristic of the loan, and why wasn't my bank notified?

  2. Robert M.9:43 AM

    When you spend your days thinking up ways to entertain the Global Warming is a Hoax crowd...

    I would have guessed you could entertain them for hours with a mirror, or a piece of twine with a feather tied to the end.

  3. Bizarro Mike9:43 AM

    Many tears are shed for these loans, but eyes go as dry as the Sahara when it comes to cost-plus defense contracts. Also, you gotta love the implicit idea that climate change means that temperatures should rise uniformly, as if we lived on a giant copper orb in vacuum instead of a rock one covered in fluid.

  4. Laser light pointers, Robert.

    It's a new millennium!

  5. It snowed in D.C. last night.

    I will check FOX News (via MMfA) to see what this means...

  6. DocAmazing9:56 AM

    as if we lived on a giant copper orb in vacuum instead of a rock one covered in fluid

    That's one outcome of Republican policies. Just wait a little longer.

  7. but the real climate victims are freezing in city shelters.

    No, the real weather victims are freezing in city shelters, you willfully ignorant pig's asshole. And they're in city shelters largely thanks to the economic system you repeatedly espouse, you greedy psychopath. Hey, isn't it time to cut heating assistance to the poor so the Koch Brothers can afford to eat another white tiger?

    In the meantime, why don't you ram a curling iron up your ass? If you leave it turned off for part of each day, it apparently can't burn you. Haw haw algore haw!

  8. Would you believe CNN's Erick Erickson?

  9. I mean, Sweet Jeebus returning to judge the living and the dead, it was literally only a few days ago when temperatures in parts of New England were unseasonably warm (Emphasis added for right-wing mendacious fuckwits). And next week it looks like unusually warm weather will return. Haw haw warm snap Manhattan Institute is a bunch of corporate shills! Oh, wait, that's not funny, because we're all going to drown in their shit.

  10. Derelict10:09 AM

    I'll guess that we'll have to go two or three decades with no winters at all, and summers with average temps above 100 for the northern tier of states, before any of these nitwits decides that maybe, just maybe, global warming is real and manmade. (And then there will be a cold snap when temps drop close to freezing in Minneapolis and we'll be right back to "Al Gore is still fat, like Michael Moore!!!11!!")

    Of course, as world agricultural output drops due to the wild weather fluctuations that come with global warming, Payne's concern for the freezing poor will no doubt extend to the starving masses as well.

  11. glennisw10:25 AM

    WTF? The car show is killing poor freezing people in Detroit?

    I suppose if the car show were featuring giant gas guzzling SUVs it would be different?

    Well, at least the idiot is acknowledging that severe weather is an ominous development of climate change.

  12. witlesschum11:03 AM

    If Payne is ever going to make it above the grade of useless hack, he might have investigated what Michigan's weather has been like this winter. It has, in fact, been warmer than average with very little snow. Until this past weekend there was only a dusting of snow on the ground and it was in the 40s for a day last week. And it's predicted to warm up again next week. If it lasts for more than a couple days, we'll probably have flooding which will give Payne the chance to say fuck caribou.

  13. Robert M.11:31 AM

    He also could have investigated Michigan's summer, which was the longest, hottest, and driest in decades. Or he could have looked at the mean surface temperature for Lake Michigan, which is rising slowly but significantly--and which, not incidentally, means increased evaporation in winter and therefore heavier lake-effect snowfall.

    But this is a representative of a group that ignores mountains of confirming evidence in favor of one datum that, when deliberately misinterpreted, allows us to continue using up fossil fuels at unsustainable rates. So I think "investigate" and "think" are both way beyond his capacity.

  14. chuckling11:32 AM

    Although your hypothetical examples regarding what could happen in the northern states is much more extreme and convincing than the "It's cold today" ridiculousness, it's pretty much the same mindset. I suspect, much like geological time or the vastness of space or quantum physics, it's just really difficult for humans to get their mind around the concept of "global" warming and its associated climate change. No personal offense intended, I think that way much of the time myself, but it does kind of illustrate what we're up against. That, and the ultimate belief by most that there will inevitably be a deus ex machina to the rescue, whether it be an actual deus or a bunch of folk in white lab coats. Or that whatever happens, it's simply God's will, especially when it happens to somebody else, or alternately it's the work of the devil. Then of course there's always Jim Dandy, I mean John Galt, who may come to the rescue. Too bad John Galt finds it more profitable to exploit the crisis for personal gain rather than do anything to alleviate it. Given our natures as creatures of this earth, I think it's safe to say that horrible disaster from man-made climate change is inevitable. The only question that remains is how we, as individuals, deal with its coming. Do we work to alleviate it? Live in willful ignorance or otherwise live out our lives as best we can, saying to hell with future generations? Or make as much money as we can and set up our children so that they can live comfortably in a walled community while the world goes to hell around them? The answer, of course, is all of the above and as to the proportions of people who fall into one camp or another, those are easily predictable. Anyhoo, it's cold outside, the wind is howling, and later this evening I think I'll take this conversation up with my old friend Jim Beam. Now there's a guy who knows something about how to warm up on a cold day.

  15. "...the real climate victims are freezing in city shelters." Well, here's Rick Snyder's big chance to step in and demonstrate to one and all how the state of Michigan can help freezing shelter victims with no help from the eeeevil fedril gummint. Not gonna happen? Well, how's about a donation from the Koch brothers to help feed those victims, which would demonstrate conclusively that private charity, not intrusive federal involvement, is the answer to society's problems? No? Well, maybe Henry "Max" Payne has some suggestions. Henry? *crickets*

  16. Mr. Wonderful11:52 AM

    "While Detroit’s needy freeze, millions of federal dollars are going to the politically connected well-to-do."

    ...whereas those millions of federal dollars ought to go to Detroit's needy. No, wait! I meant, whereas those millions of federal dollars should by rights be directed toward enhancing global warming, so that those freezing needy will never again...No, hang on, I'll get it...(SFX PHONE RING) Hello?...Oh, right. Thanks, Rich.

    Whereas Detroit's needy should freeze *on the street,* amortizing the sunken costs of the asphalt, concrete, etc. already paid for. Millions of federal dollars, meanwhile, should be spent on the military, who will protect us from the ravening terrorist hordes starving from the effects of global warming, which doesn't exist and the mitigation of which is so frivolous.

    Man! It's hard out here for a pimp!

  17. I suppose if the car show were featuring giant gas guzzling SUVs it would be different?

    Yes, because then the government subsidies would be going to the right people.

  18. XeckyGilchrist12:38 PM

    I have to admit I'm surprised. I haven't heard any "Snowed in Buffalo! So much for global warming HAW HAW" this year from the usual local suspects, so I thought that even these draggers had figured out it made them look stupid. Thin gruel indeed.

  19. wileywitch12:50 PM

    And it snowed in the Mid-East a few weeks ago. If six inches of snow in Jordan doesn't prove global warming is a hoax, then what will? "Climate Change" you say? Oh, poo.

  20. yeah, but the purpose of al gore is fat or whatever they call that idiot
    page is not to act as a hub of peer-reviewed climate research that may
    disprove or even critique what a majority of earth and life scientists
    know is occurring (to "teach the controversy," as it were, even though
    it's widely acknowledged that there is no
    but only a few outliers who dispute some of the
    conclusions that most climate scientists make, and even fewer outright
    deniers), but to just troll. it's what jonah does,
    it's what nro does, it's what the movement does - it trolls.

    payne and ask him - what is it about the model the ipcc uses that he
    finds fault with? what about the model is flawed? there has to be an
    alternative formula that's better at evaluating climate changes, right?
    so which one is it? he won't have an answer, because he's a troll, just
    like jonah isn't a real historian or even a real thinker. he's a troll.
    if you want a vision of conservatism, imagine your dickhead uncle
    forwarding all-caps emails into your inbox, forever.

    there's a black person, or a queer person, or a woman, or gun violence
    involved, the "toughness" and "realism" that this political philosphy
    likes to celebrate is completely absent.

  21. PersonaAuGratin1:16 PM

    Hopefully we'll all have automatic weapons to confront the inevitable copper thieves who come along to steal the planet.

  22. Halloween_Jack1:40 PM

    This is the kind of brilliant thinking man that declares, upon seeing a penny laying on the sidewalk, that the poor must be lazy because there's money covering the streets.

  23. M. Krebs2:13 PM

    I began to wonder if it actually has snowed in Buffalo this year. Answer: Not a lot.

  24. redoubt2:21 PM

    Just let them "steal" several tons of copper sulfate; they won't be back.

  25. I was going to write something similar, that this article just had to be trolling, but you said it better.

  26. Leeds man3:26 PM

    "In the meantime, why don't you ram a curling iron up your ass?"

    You Warmist Thug, you. You forgot "sideways".

  27. Spaghetti Lee4:48 PM

    Saving polar bears may be fashionable among rich elites

    Oh yeah, can't read the paper these days without running into a story about Charles Koch or Sheldon Adelson or Pete Peterson road tripping to Greenland and rescuing stranded bears. It's right next to the stories about National Review writers working in Detroit soup kitchens.

  28. uh, you seem to have forgotten that the real problem is that these 'homeless' should be picking themselves up by their frozen bootstraps like the rest of merika...

  29. commie atheist5:00 PM

    K-Lo has a sad: "All too often we demonize people. How can we reach them? Could we work together?"

    Perhaps we could start with you not calling women choosing to terminate their unwanted pregnancies baby killers.

  30. whetstone5:44 PM

    "On Tuesday, a deadly arctic blast here in the Midwest was a reminder of how frivolous that pursuit is."


    Fun facts about Chicago: most consecutive days above zero degrees in 59 years (711, almost two years); latest sub-freezing high on record, ever; consecutive days without a subfreezing high, ever (310 days); most consecutive days without an inch of snow (over 330, still going); warmest winter on record.

    Perhaps global warming will keep lots of people from freezing to death, and I'd certainly welcome fewer people freezing to death, but in Chicago (as in lots of other cities), the problem hasn't been so much that as people dying in heat waves. The U.S. government's most recent climate report specifically singled out Chicago for the heat waves it can expect in the future. The gist: you know that 1995 heat wave... get used to it.

  31. AGoodQuestion5:54 PM

    If Payne is ever going to make it above the grade of useless hack... Something tells me that's not in his career plan.

  32. I'm not so confident about the "trolling" theory. Believe it or not, that subsite has been there for six years, and by the looks of it it's updated daily, sometimes more. That's an awful lot of effort for a gag, I think. Not that it's serious, either - a perusal of the recent posts shows several of the "cold today, therefore AGW is false" type. Maybe NRO is trying to cash in on that lucrative anti-environmentalist dollar.

  33. Sgaile-beairt6:38 PM

    .....i have tried to explain, how this works, via the boiling pot of macaroni analogy, but there is a saying....something something paycheck depending.....

  34. JennOfArk6:56 PM

    What bugs me most about all the climate change stuff is that it so assiduously avoids the solution which would do the most to bring it under control while also benefiting humans and all other life on this planet in myriad other ways, and that is a serious drive to not only lower population growth but shrink global population - by any means other than the normal (war, famine, disaster, genocide). Some kind of global agreement to offer assistance to couples who voluntarily limit family size to one child - things like guaranteed access to education and healthcare for the child, for example. And not focused on poor, populous, or third-world countries, either, but focused on all countries across the board. If there were half as many people in the US and Europe, that wipes out probably well over half the problem, because we use so much more energy and resources than most people in the world.

    Pretty much any problem you can think of would be improved by simply shrinking the human population - intensive farming needs to be only half as intensive for half as many people, half as many people would need less fresh water, generate much less carbon, cause less habitat loss & etc. etc. The world would be a better place with fewer of us in it.

    Of course we won't seriously talk about trying anything like that, because it would make the Catholic Church, the Republican Party, the high priests of capitalism, and the Duggars, cry.

  35. MatthewMikell7:09 PM

    Does what's happening in Australia this week mean anything?

  36. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard7:18 PM

    Of course, a real journalist would do some research and find out that AGW-related disruptions of the jet stream cause cold air to spill down from the Arctic, but it's so much easier to be a dumbass and cash those Koch checks,

  37. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard7:20 PM

    Would you prefer a "fiat orb", not based on hard currency, loony lib?

  38. BigHank539:24 PM

    Oh please. You're going to take the word of some filthy Middle Easterners who aren't even Jewish?

  39. Tehanu10:01 PM

    Class A snark, Jeffrey. You win the thread!

  40. oh, jayus, jen...that's almost agenda 21 talk!

  41. Chris Anderson10:15 PM

    Right-wing rhetoric depends on depicting skepticism as a state of mind that's open to anyone, with no effort. What they call expressions of skepticism are, to me, indistinguishable from their "common sense" intuitions, or reactionary outbursts. But there's enormous power in declaring that ordinary people can arrive at excellent answers by quickly querying their innards.

    The fact is that skepticism is best represented by science and good scholarship generally. There are tested methods, actual modes of investigation and social interaction, that make skepticism a very powerful truth-finding reality. The Right wants nothing to do with all this, and hopes you'll never understand how serious inquiry works. They must never admit that the methods and cultures of serious inquiry actually do a better job of negating personal biases and distortions than any other known means -- conservative reaction being super-low on the list.

    Climate scientists aren't perfect, and I'm sure their work will look crude in just a little while, but what do we see on the other side? It's like toddlers playing at blocks, without any sense of physics or engineering. The don't even give a fuck about what they're building. The very last things they'd do are rigorously critique each other, show their work, drum the charlatans out, etc. I shouldn't malign toddlers with this comparison, actually: toddlers play in good faith, and seriously.

  42. i am seriously looking forward to when k-lo finds this out...

  43. M. Krebs10:49 PM

    On behalf of all cats, I take umbrage.

  44. Another Kiwi11:19 PM

    Really? There's going to be wide areas of faecal inundation.

  45. Another Kiwi11:20 PM

    That was Baby Jebus' icy tears!!

  46. Another Kiwi11:24 PM

    it is more likely to be scam site to fleece the rubes. Do they frequent "membership drives" or "while the authors here do it for the love of it, we still have overheads blah blah blah"

  47. Another Kiwi11:30 PM

    Victorianus will go out of his tiny mind if the aliens are here illegally from another planet.

  48. Anonymous2:05 AM

    Wow, this article is nice, my younger sister is
    analyzing these things, therefore I am going to let know her.
    My webpage ...

  49. montag22:42 AM

    Thanks to the wingnutz' capacity for self-deceit, raving bullshit, outrageous levels of mendacity and neverending reverential belief in the power of stupidity, we all get a lot of practice.

  50. smut clyde5:41 AM

    Yes, but the alternative is to create additional worlds. Surely this is easier.

  51. i wouldn't say that it's a gag - that they're that cynical - but the form is the same as a gag: so what passes for thesis, or politics - the form, it's all haw haw but don't you know the nazis were democratic socialists haw haw it's pretty cold in london how about that global warming? har har

    and sure, that anti-enviro dollar helps.

  52. j_bird3:25 PM

    And it's really quite a nifty scam, since the product they're peddling ("Don't worry, the entire climate isn't changing unpredictably and irrevocably!") is so darn comforting.