Sunday, January 20, 2013


...about Obama's gun proposals and the predictable rightblogger reaction. I got only a little into the Obama-Hitler stuff, because that's an evergreen at this point, but I do confess I enjoyed "OBAMA'S WHITE SCAPEGOATS...JUST LIKE HITLER DID TO THE JEWS AND OTHER MINORITIES" by some nut, as well as what we might consider the moderate conservative alternative, "Popular Parallels Between Hitler And Obama Are Wrong... But Obama Is Still A Tyrannical Narcissist."

I also enjoyed Gateway Pundit Jim Hoft's "Don’t Tell the Media... NRA More Popular Than Gun-Grabber Obama." One of these days they'll get smart and run the NRA for President.


  1. admiral.naismith11:08 PM

    I LOLed at the thing about how "Hitler was elected for 'change' too," because Hitler wasn't really elected. He became Chancellor as part of a deal with conservatives who preferred him to the Communists. The Nazis never won a majority of German votes in a fair election. A plurality, yes. It would be the equivalent of one of our major parties handing control of the reins of power to a handful of extremists in the hope that they would defeat their political opponents... OH WAIT.

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  3. AGoodQuestion12:19 AM

    In another pre-game post, he reminded readers, "the left wants us living in a beneficent police state ... they will use every occasion to try to further enslave us... Resist we much."

    When enraged by the very concept of gun restrictions, Jeff Goldstein transforms into... Yoda?

  4. If they're not really out to get you, you are paranoid.

    Sure, but what if they really got me, so I don't know what I'm doing, and so I can't sleep at night?

  5. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist or a Ph.D. in history to know that
    every mass-murdering tyranny in the history of the world started like
    this. They began with a government monopoly on force.

    It also doesn't take a rocket scientist (or even a political scientist) or a PhD in history (or even anything else) to know that Weber would contend that a government monopoly on force is the defining characteristic of any state-level society, be it a mass-murdering tyranny like NObama's America or a no-murdering freedomocracy like Reagan's America. It doesn't even take a rocket scientist or a PhD in history to understand that this line of thought can be traced back at least as far as the 17th century (cf. Leviathan) and probably back to the goddamn Constitution of the Lacedaemonians or the Code of Hammurabi. It does, however, take a very special combination of stupidity and ignorance to come up with the sorts of uninformed bloviations on the history of political thinking that Joseph Farah squeezes out of his face cloaca - I've seen better and more informed critiques of the relationship between the state and violence in toothpaste commercials.

  6. DocAmazing1:28 AM

    We make holes in logic!

  7. Our own Leonard Pierce summed up Ben Shapiro quite well recently when he called him a 79 year old man trapped in the body of a 24 year old.

  8. JennOfArk1:38 AM

    All the screeching about how Obama's modest proposals are unconstitutional!!! merely underscores rightwinger ignorance of what's actually in the Constitution, and how it has been interpreted in the past.

    Machine guns have been illegal for civilians to purchase since the 1980s; somehow the Supreme Court has failed to find this restriction unconstitutional. Semi-automatic assault weapons were illegal to purchase for close to 10 years and somehow the Supreme Court failed to find that a violation of the Second Amendment as well. It's possible that this happened because there's no explicit right to own specific types of weapons guaranteed by the Amendment.'s not just POSSIBLE, it's EXACTLY why these laws weren't overturned on constitutional grounds.

    The Amendment likewise is silent on the issue of background checks and registration of firearms, CDC research into the causes of gun violence, and a whole plethora of other tangential issues.

    What it is NOT silent on is something gun nuts would like to gloss over - the bit about "well-regulated militias" - which could be interpreted as requiring gun owners to take classes instructing the proper handling and use of firearms at a minimum. Regarding that bit, the whole registration thing finds its legal penumbra - it's kind of hard to argue that the "gun for every man, woman and child" stance of the NRA meets the "well-regulated militia" standard unless we have registration. It's kind of hard to have a militia that's regulated even poorly if you don't even know who the members of it are.

    Pretty much nothing short of "hand in every gun of every type in your possession" would run afoul of the Second Amendment, but the monkeys have learned that if they shriek loud enough and throw enough poop, everyone who recognizes this will just leave the monkey house.

  9. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard3:15 AM

    The farce is strong in this one.

  10. smut clyde3:25 AM

    This was never covered in my rocket science courses.

    I get your point, though, that what Farah is describing as the beginning of "every mass-murdering tyranny in the history of the world" is specifically what everyone else has described as "civilisation".

  11. smut clyde3:28 AM

    Obviously you need someone to show you the things in life that you can't find;
    you can't see the things that make true happiness, you must be blind.

  12. commie atheist3:31 AM

    The truth is, the left in its most metatastic virulent ugly progressive cannot survive without straw men and bogey men; which reduces to "white men" because women of all races, and
    minorities of all descriptions are 'okay' and need not feel guilty for losing (or winning) some fantasy obstetrical lottery......

    I have no words.

  13. commie atheist3:35 AM

    Stop making sense, already!

  14. smut clyde4:18 AM

    There are people permanently confined to TBI wards after losing most of their frontal lobes in car crashes who have more insight than that.

  15. Hm-m, the Cresties look suspiciously like a Koch-funded private army somewhere in Galt's Gulch.

  16. satch7:30 AM

    I'm fairly certain that if there ever actually was an invasion to repel, an insurrection to suppress, or laws of the union to enforce, the militia commanders would find Owens and Goldstein hiding under their beds.

  17. Fantasy Obstetrical Lottery...Didn't they open for Gynecological Feat at the Greek Theatre one time?


  18. mortimer8:43 AM

    In a fun earlier post, Owens imagined the inevitable armed insurgency when Obama's Sturmtruppen came for their guns.
    Unnamed citizens and federal agents will be the first to die, and they will die by the dozens and maybe hundreds, but famous politicians will soon join them in a spate of revenge killings, many of which will go unsolved.
    Indeed. Even the Sherlock Holmes himself would be stumped as to who was doing all the shooting.

    Nut-picking always reaps a bumper harvest down on Owens' farm, but my fave was an enumerated prescription for organizing the troops for victory in the coming war:

    #4: Repost every articulate response and post you read from fellow conservatives – no matter how many times you read it. Copy and paste until your fingers bleed.

    Purple Heart, anyone?

  19. Derelict9:06 AM

    After so many years of every minor statement of Obama being interpreted as the very end of civilization itself, you might think that even the most dense of rightwing followers would begin falling off the turnip truck. But apparently there are plenty of folks operating in day-to-day life at the intellectual level of Jim Hoft.

    It horrifies me that such people are operating motor vehicles.

  20. pathman259:10 AM

    I don't really give a shit what he does with the gun issue. My guess is nothing will change much. As for tyranny, how many Americans does he have to assassinate before it becomes tyranny? Is it 100, 1000? Please inform.


  22. Fats Durston9:21 AM

    every mass-murdering tyranny in the history of the world started like

    this. They began with a government monopoly on force.

    Then all the children of Israel went out, and the congregation was gathered together as one man, from Dan even to Beersheba, with the land of Gilead.

    And we will take ten men of an hundred throughout all the tribes of Israel to fetch the sub-machine guns of the children of Benjamin.

    And the men of Israel turned again upon the children of Benjamin, and smote them with the edge of the sword, as well the men of every city, as the beast, and all that came to hand: also they set on fire all the cities that they came to.

  23. mortimer9:48 AM

    cf. Wars in Iraq, Afganistan, etc. Although I'm sure that Jeffrey proudly thinks of himself as putting the "hawk" in "chickenhawk."

  24. wileywitch10:19 AM

    I think they're in the eternal now that is characteristic of infancy.

  25. Jeffrey_Kramer10:58 AM


  26. So... your point is that the gun nutters view Obama's "modest proposals" on gun control in the same way that Irish children regarded Jonathan Swift's?

  27. Yep... Joshua's militia would have had an easier time at the walls of Jericho if they'd had RPG's and assault rifles instead of horns.

  28. Or are allowed to cut their own meat...

  29. Jeffrey_Kramer11:13 AM

    I drew the Duggars in my Fantasy Obstretrics league.

  30. XeckyGilchrist11:17 AM

    I don't think so, though the *search* for an articulate post might take a lot of fruitless work.

  31. Jeffrey_Kramer11:18 AM

    Repost every articulate response and post you read from fellow conservatives....

    Whatever the opposite of "carpal tunnel syndrome" is, it's going to sweep the nation.

  32. Narcissist is the charge of choice on the crazy women need mental health care too family board I lurk on. ITs a very popular ground level psych diagnosis right up there with sociopath. It was lobbed quite a bit in Obama's first term when many people seemed to argue that Obama's self esteem was perversley high for a guy who had only just been elected the first black US president and received the Nobel Peace Prize. His unbecoming lack of humility in accepting both was proof that he had the typical narcissist's grandiose self regard and that he was detatched from the real reality in which he wasn't, actually, President and hadn't actually received the Peace Prize. Like a lot of people, including apparently Obama, I didn't think he "deserved" the prize but, damn, the guy was entitled to think that he'd received it--it wasn't exactly identical to Walter Mitty day dreaming about things he'd like to have done.

  33. I would like to board a fast space cruiser for Barrayar with this comment. No, wait, I think I mean I'd like to take a long vacation on the Orb.

  34. I (Heart) Weberians.

  35. Even more true: if the Government called up each and every "well regulated militiaman" or gun owner and tried to ship them off to fight enemies, foreign and domestic, they would all run shrieking in the other direction while speed dialing the ACLU. IF well regulated meant anything to the founders it was that the militia could be called up and forced to fight.

  36. Copy and paste until your fingers bleed.

    Finally they can use the purple heart bandaids they stockpiled when they were making fun of Kerry.

  37. I'm hoping its a big number.

  38. Mr. Wonderful11:31 AM

    Are we sure Leonard didn't drop a decimal point between the 7 and the 9?

  39. XeckyGilchrist11:40 AM

    So THAT's who the wingnuts are. "Fluoride? NOOOOOOO!"

  40. glennisw12:05 PM

    I'm pretty sure the Irish children weren't in a position to read Jonathan Swift much.

  41. I have a feeling that what's running thru the likes of Bob Owens's head as he types is - ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa -

  42. DocAmazing12:11 PM

    As far as deserving the Peace Prize--it was given to Kissinger, f'Chrissakes. Please note that Herr Doktor Kissinger suffers no loss of self-esteem, nor does anyone comment on that fact.

  43. redoubt12:20 PM

    Then, having consolidated power, they outlawed all other political parties. Right and left.

    In all the Godwining of Obama I never hear that mentioned.

  44. KatWillow12:48 PM

    One could easily interpret the "well regulated" phrase to mean, you know, the Founders did NOT think every man/woman/child/baboon/talking horse should own a firearm.

  45. KatWillow12:49 PM

    This is why feces-throwing was invented.

  46. XeckyGilchrist12:50 PM

    I do, but only where I think it's going to annoy some wingnuts.

  47. XeckyGilchrist12:50 PM


  48. KatWillow12:56 PM

    They DO fall off the (!) Turnup-truck! Then they chase after the truck screaming "Wait for ME! Wait for ME!". They collapse by the side of the road in exhaustion and despair (must have run 50 yards!) and LO! along comes another Turnup-truck.

  49. whetstone12:57 PM

    I fully support Wayne LaPierre '16. America hasn't had a case of suspected spontaneous combustion in like a century or so, and four years of Wayne LaPierre White House Press Conferences--if his post-Sandy Hook press conference is any indication--could cause at least a couple rows of White House correspondent heads to explode.

    Or at the very least, I'm unaware that a press conference has ever had a recorded instance of a bureau chief asking "wait, what?"

  50. JennOfArk1:47 PM

    No, no, NO. The wingnuts are the Cavity Creeps, which looked suspiciously like the shit monster in Dogma.

  51. smut clyde2:19 PM

    So Owens has gone full-Turner Diaries? No-one saw that coming..

    I like the way that his idea of Total War is a wave of internet spam.

  52. catclub2:24 PM

    Although the eternal now is alos characterisitic of Buddhist satori.

  53. satch2:32 PM

    As much as I love Ed Schultz, when he starts nattering on about hunting, he loses me. I have, in the past, enjoyed target shooting (taught to me by my father, as often happens), but the "sport" of using live animals for target practice, and then stuffing and mounting the heads or the whole animal in order, I suppose, to prove that you killed it just doesn't register. Could someone explain it?

  54. This comment! Mas this comment! 

    You've hit on it: there's still a war to be won in Afghanistan against the enemies of liberty! Militiamen, hie thee to the dusty Kandahar Road, where the firing of automatic weapons is not only legal but encouraged! Bring your YouTubes! Record your jubilant victories for posterity!

    (with apologies to Kipling)

    "When the gun-toting wingnut arrives in the East
    With his AR-15 and its safety released,
    And the space 'tween his cheeks is suddenly creased:
    He learns the intent of militias!
    Learns, learns, learns the plain language,
    The Founders' intent for Militias!

    Now all you Cheetosians who're drafted to-day,
    The Second Amendment has brought you this way,
    You cherish it more than gun safety, you say,
    So respond with the requisite duty, duty, duty
    ~ You mouthbreathing wingnuts ~ your duty.

    When you come under fire and everyone ducks,
    And all of a sudden tricornery sucks,
    Hold fast to your love of your piece, you dumb schmucks,
    And shoot at the guys like you practiced, practiced, practiced,
    Where you herped and you derped while you practiced. 

    When the Humvee you're in gets all riddled with holes,
    And you realize this isn't Portland, or Kohl's,
    Where walking with rifles your ego extols,
    You're doing your job as a solder.
    A Second Amendment firearms holder!
    A solider ~OF~ of the Militia!

    If you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
    Like the victims whose tales spur gun safety campaigns,
    That you mocked and derided because you lack brains,
    Maybe then you'll concede Regulation. 
    It's not negation! Or castration!
    Maybe then you'll concede Regulation."

  55. Exactly, aimai! One thing we can be sure of is that nether the Second Amendment nor anything else in the Constitution protects a citizen's right NOT to keep and bear arms.

  56. wileywitch3:35 PM

    If a Buddhist howled until someone stuck a bottle in their mouth it would be the same eternal now I'm talking about.

  57. wileywitch3:39 PM

    Me man. Me kill it. beats chest

  58. DocAmazing3:40 PM

    I don't listen to Ed Schultz, and I've never been hunting, but I have had some mouth-watering venison and pheasant. If you eat meat, somebody's got to kill an animal; if the animal in question is wild and sustainably taken, I have no objections.

    Killing something you're not going to eat just to show off your shooting prowess is just jerking off, though.

  59. DocAmazing3:48 PM

    I want to Kiple with this comment.

  60. MikeJ4:04 PM

    Elk sausage.

  61. satch4:23 PM

    Two words: Jeen... yus!

  62. smut clyde4:24 PM

    I have no bottle and I must scream.

  63. holy crap!

  64. satch5:17 PM

    OK, as an explanation, that'll do.

  65. satch5:35 PM

    Oh... so Roy WASN'T making a Swiftian reference? My mistake...

  66. BigHank535:53 PM

    Most hunters are subsistience hunting, putting organic free-range meat into the freezer at something less than Whole Foods prices. Some of it is pest control--rabbits and rats in the UK; deer in North America. (Shooting prairie dogs at long range isn't pest control; it's being a cheap fuck who doesn't want to pay for a fence.)

    Some trophies come off meat animals; I have no idea why anyone would imagine a cougar's skin looks any better without a cougar inside of it.

  67. AGoodQuestion6:01 PM

    He's not like any 79 year old I'd hang out with, and sadly I don't think he will be when he's actually 79 either.

  68. JennOfArk6:15 PM

    I want to be Bagheera to this comment's Mowgli.

  69. BigHank537:29 PM

    That's actually one of the really funny things about the lunatic Citadel guys out in Idaho--they were going to require a yearly proficiency demonstration with your AR-15. I don't know if they'd kick one out if you couldn't shoot straight, but it's a hell of a lot more than any wingnuts have suggested.

  70. M. Krebs8:10 PM

    I do miss the old days, when Godlstein would magically appear in any comment thread where his name was mentioned. It was kind of awesome in a way.

  71. Jeffrey_Kramer8:24 PM

    Some additional revolutionary tactics by which the wingnut warriors can recapture the spirit of Valley Forge:

    Stamp your feet until you twist an ankle!
    Make prank calls until they cut off your phone service!
    Listen to Glenn Beck until your ears bleed!
    Photoshop Obama pictures until you run out of RAM!
    Eat Chick-Fil-A until your bowels can't take it!

    and, of course,

    Fap until it falls off!

  72. montag28:48 PM

    Obama's linkage of mental health and guns seems to have unnerved a bunch of the wingers, if only because they implicitly understand that their obsessions with both guns and Obama are signs that others might interpret as indicators of deteriorating mental health.

    Since they already have long histories of being thoroughly irrational about Obama and about guns, they now have no choice but to become completely bugfuck nuts about mental health.

    I fully expect Godlstein to lead that charge (from a safe distance, of course).

  73. aimai9:40 PM

    Some of these your more dedicated wingnuts have been doing all along, of course.

  74. aimai9:43 PM

    They never had any choice about anything--everything is always someone else's fault. The real slogan of these people isn't "give me liberty or give me death" but "he made me do it" followed by bursting into tears.

  75. XeckyGilchrist10:13 PM

    I had meant the wingnuts were the Cavity Creeps, I just didn't say it very well. Pardon.

  76. The Dark Avenger10:35 PM

    My father was a bird hunter, and it takes good reflexes to knock a moving target out of the air:

    The traditional September first dove opener is almost certainly the single biggest opening day in the United States. It's also one of the single biggest days for shotshell manufacturers, with millions of rounds expended against these speed demons. A dove's small size, speed and acrobatic flight all combine to make it one of wingshooting's most difficult targets. It's said that one bird for five shells is a pretty good average. Usually I can beat that, but add factors like a stiff
    breeze or birds that have already been shot at and one per five starts to look pretty good!

  77. The Dark Avenger10:42 PM

    I just verified that Googling "Dumbest man on the internet" still yields Jim Hoft articles at the top of the list of results.

  78. I don't care how hard they are to hit, unless you eat them afterwards, they're just living targets.

  79. The Dark Avenger3:53 AM

    We always did eat them, they have a strong flavor compared to domestic fowl.

    As for targets, there is always skeet shooting, skeet of course should be served with a ranch or Italian dressing.