Friday, December 21, 2012


It is something to see Ole Perfesser Instapundit go for plausible deniability:
I DIDN’T SEE THE PRESS CONFERENCE, but reader Theo X. Rojo writes: “I’m very proud of my membership in the NRA as a ‘Life Member.’ I thought Mr. LaPierre hit it out of the park today.”
Maybe before he can endorse it, he has to watch Kindergarden Cop and see how it all works out.

The weirdest bit, though, is this:
UPDATE: Jeffrey Goldberg: “Reporters on my Twitter feed seem to hate the NRA more than anything else, ever.” I think there’s a race/class angle to that.
Race/class angle? Does he think most journalists are black? Not bloody likely. Or does he think his opponents have been mongrelized?

If you're wondering why our moderate Republican President is doing so well in the polls, look no further.


  1. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard8:35 PM

    LaPierre is a ghoul. His delivery was completely without affect, his statements patently false. I mean, he could say "“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun" without doing any research? I'd type out what I think LaPierre deserves, but I don't want the Yonkers PD to show up at Casa di Bastard. I'll let Hanover Fist editorialize on this one.

  2. JennOfArk8:44 PM

    I have this feeling that today's press conference will turn out to be a Schiavo Moment.
    Also, too: I finally posted about the gun stuff at my shitty blog, 3weirdsisters, though probably my Christmas post featuring a David Sedaris reading is more enjoyable.

  3. AGoodQuestion8:48 PM

    Considering the source, he may believe that the race/class angle is the press' tacit hostility toward cyborgs.

  4. Spaghetti Lee8:50 PM

    I think it's simple. Goldstein's seen accusations of racism and/or discrimination 'work' for liberals in terms of gaining public sympathy, and, power-seeking little git that he is, is seeing if he can use it for his own purposes. Never mind that the context is totally ludicrous. (Gun industry lobbyists as a protected class! Scary thing is that at least 3 SC Justices would probably but it.)

  5. Jimcima9:06 PM

    I hope so. I watched the entire thing in real-time and thought "WTF is this dipshit talking about?" as he blamed everything from video games to the media to unarmed school teachers for this massacre, and apparently the free and easy access to assualt weapons had nothing to do with it. He literally insulted and blamed the media to it's face, even more so than the killer himself, daring them to respond.

    I'm anxious to see what the response will be.

  6. BigHank539:19 PM

    I missed the last census form--is "cracker" a category now?

  7. Then there was also the fact that midway through the LaPierre's non-response another madman when berserk and killed (shot) three innocents before offing himself. How apropos

  8. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard9:29 PM

    The really crazy thing is that a mass shooting event was transpiring even as LaPierre was speaking!

  9. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard9:31 PM

    Weird, I posted the same thing at about the same time- great minds think alike... so do ours!

  10. Tehanu9:59 PM

    That's "Saltine-American" to you, big boy.

  11. bilejones10:13 PM

    Let our Leaders Lead.

    Let the Chosen One disarm the whoremongers of the
    Secret Service first, then the Capitol Police, then Bloomberg's goons.

    If, after 10 years, it's worked for them, then we'll talk about it

  12. bilejones10:16 PM

    Please let me know where you think you can buy an "assualt weapon" Militarty Assault weapons are all automatics, they are almost impossible for a private citizen to obtain.

    Here's my proposal for gun control:

    Let our Leaders Lead.
    Let the Chosen One disarm the whoremongers of the
    Secret Service first, then the Capitol Police, then Bloomberg's goons.
    If, after 10 years, it's worked for them, then we'll talk about it

  13. XeckyGilchrist10:18 PM

    Militarty Assault weapons are all automatics

    Militarty.... I do love a tart in uniform.

    I'll be in my bunk

  14. wileywitch10:21 PM

    My. You are so powerful. "We" will all surely wait with bated breath for your conditions to be fulfilled before we have this conversation again.


  15. XeckyGilchrist10:23 PM

    Powerful enough to copy-paste its own comments!

  16. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard10:25 PM

    Here's more of LaPierre's monstrousness- he wants to create a national registry of the mentally ill, rather than a national registry of firearms?

    A dozen more killers, a hundred more? How can we possibly even guess how many, given our nation’s refusal to create an active national database of the mentally ill? The fact is this: That wouldn’t even begin to address the much larger, more lethal criminal class -- killers, robbers, rapists, gang members who have spread like cancer in every community across our nation.

    The vast majority of the mentally ill don't pose a threat to others- they are much more likely to be the victims of violence than the perps. LaPierre is suggesting something which would be a gross violation of HIPAA standards, and an avenue to discrimination against people who need help and support.
    Grrr... I hate this creep.

  17. BigHank5310:39 PM

    Whoremongers of the Secret Service?

    Man, I knew I moved out of DC too soon.

  18. No, according to the definition provided in law by the expiredFederal Assault Weapons Ban , the term "assault weapon" includes classes of semi-automatics - you miserably ignorant piece of shit:

    Criteria of an assault weapon

    Assault weapon (semi-automatic) refers primarily (but not exclusively) to firearms that possess the cosmetic features of an assault rifle (which are fully-automatic). Actually possessing the operational features, such as 'full-auto', is not required for classification as an assault weapon; merely the possession of cosmetic features is enough to warrant such classification as an assault weapon. Semi-automatic firearms, when fired, automatically extract the spent cartridge casing and load the next cartridge into the chamber, ready to fire again; they do not fire automatically like a machine gun; rather, only one round is fired with each trigger pull.[2]
    In the former U.S. law, the legal term assault weapon included certain specific semi-automatic firearm models by name (e.g., Colt AR-15, TEC-9, non-select-fire AK-47sproduced by three manufacturers, and Uzis) and other semi-automatic firearms

  19. wileywitch10:44 PM

    Well. There was that thing in a South American country not so long ago. If we're gonna get all too huffy about that, then we need to stop arming military men.

  20. wileywitch10:47 PM

    For some reason it seems to me that now would be a good time to remind people that some shot President Reagan to impress Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster might have been even less impressed if that guy had thrown a hatchet at him, because using guns is a tradition among serious Presidential assassins.

  21. XeckyGilchrist10:56 PM


    You forgot to say "check...and...MATE, libs!"

  22. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard11:00 PM

    The weird thing about that is that Hinckley was a family friend of the Bushes... the links lead to the scary part of the internet, but you should be able to find a decent post about the connection.

  23. BigHank5311:03 PM

    Oh, right. I had forgotten about that particular little scandal. Odd that it would remain at the top of our troll's memory stack...or maybe not.

  24. BigHank5311:07 PM

    Do you think if asked Lawyers, Guns, and Money really politely they'd send over one of their trolls? I'm not looking for a Floyd Alvis or a RICK VENEMA, but this one is barely third-rate.

  25. XeckyGilchrist11:09 PM

    This one is pretty stupid, but I do like the name "Bile Jones."

  26. montag211:15 PM

    My guess is he misspelled "Billy."

  27. Third-rate is what happens when you get drunk and troll one-handed while the other polishes your pocket pistol.

    The LGM trolls definitely had that indefatigable yappy spirit that Malkin inspires in her fellow Terriers, I'll give them that.

  28. montag211:18 PM

    That skill alone makes him a giant among mouthbreathers....

  29. whetstone11:19 PM

    Dr Ol Prof seems like the kind of guy who thinks having a thousand-dollar Bushmaster makes him a shitkicker. Is that what "cracker" means now? Because that'd make a certain sort of sense.

  30. Jimcima11:20 PM

    I can buy and assualt weapon and anything else I want down right the block. Regardless I don't own a weapon so I'm not going to murder 20 children like your buddy Lanza did.

    The bottom line is I don't give a shit if you and yours are denied the firepower to murder schoolchildren.


  31. montag211:21 PM

    I keep wondering when Congress is going to protect the nation from Wayne LaPierre....

  32. M. Krebs11:23 PM

    I think there’s a race/class angle to that.

    Well, yeah. There is. Honky white-ass, high-calibre-toy-wielding assholes are suffering badly. So, so badly.

  33. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard11:28 PM

    Bookmark this!

  34. Big_Bad_Bald_Bastard11:29 PM

    If you think that's bad, just wait until he gets a million-dollar sex robot..

  35. Fats Durston11:30 PM

    What is a Bile Jones?
    Shucks, darling
    It's when you hate everyone
    Very, very much and you
    Just can't seem to
    Get yourself together

  36. whetstone11:53 PM

    Race? Human. Class? I prefer "dignity," but yes, there's an angle there.

    It really was mindblowing in its audacity. If you missed it, the NRA's plan is to station unpaid armed guards at all ~100k schools in America. Oh, and a national databas of everyone who's mentally ill.

    I think "Big Brother/Big Sisters" is a catchy name for all that.

  37. redoubt11:56 PM

    Get back to us when Gabby Giffords--you know, someone you people literally painted a target onto--is OK with your narcissism plans.

  38. wileywitch11:57 PM

    Small world, 'ey?

  39. thebewilderness11:59 PM

    Is it a press conference when the press is invited to listen to a speech and not permitted to ask question? I think that is called a speech not a press conference. Whatever it was the d00d embarrassed himself and the NRA.

  40. KatWillow12:01 AM

    There are NO good arguments for anyone owning an assault weapon. All they can do is utter insane, amazingly stupid arguments, loudly and repeatedly. It works with their "base" of moronic psychos, but most folk with an IQ over 80 won't buy it.

  41. Conservative federal judge makes a play in an editorial: bring back an assault weapons ban - on steroids:

    Bring back the assault weapons ban, and bring it back with some teeth this time. Ban the manufacture, importation, sale, transfer and possession of both assault weapons and high-capacity magazines. Don't let people who already have them keep them. Don't let ones that have already been manufactured stay on the market. I don't care whether it's called gun control or a gun ban. I'm for it.

  42. KatWillow12:03 AM

    S/He used to show up at other blogs, trolling madly, and I do mean MADly. Crazy psycho.

  43. KatWillow12:06 AM

    Or "I rest my case!"

  44. M. Krebs12:07 AM


  45. farrah927@gmail.com12:28 AM

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  46. GregMc12:57 AM

    Maybe he's planning to offer up the NRA membership list as a starting point for this database.

  47. JennOfArk12:59 AM

    Yep. Pass a law that gives people until a certain date to turn them in to local law enforcement in return for fair market value payment. Fine the shit out of anyone found in possession of one of them after that date. Say a fine of no less than $10,000. If an unsurrendered, now illegal weapon is used in committing a crime, apply both the fine and a jail term with a minimum 1-2 years. Pay for the buyback program by requiring registration of all firearms, with a registration fee.
    This shit's not hard, as long as you're willing to cockpunch Wayne LaPierre. In fact, maybe I'll make that my campaign slogan: "Vote for me; I promise to cockpunch Wayne LaPierre!" I smell a landslide.

  48. I had a bile stone last year.

  49. That's essentially what Australia did, and they saw an astounding drop in homicides and suicides, and haven't had a mass shooting since the ban.

  50. Deniability indeed, implausible though it is. Reynolds could have easily watched the video online, but chose not to, I'm assuming so he can avoid discussing any particulars. Sorta like he claimed he was against torture but outraged by the 'sanctimony' of torture opponents (including actual interrogators). Many a conservative (Coulter, Jonah Goldberg) likes this tactic - they want credit for being edgy and politically incorrect while simultaneously disavowing all responsibility for what they say. It's gutless. Reynolds' style is less mob lawyer than mob witness.

  51. wileywitch1:44 AM

    In one of the more recent buy-backs in L.A. someone traded an RPG for cash.

  52. It's interesting that LaPierre claims violent video games and movies influence people, but not the actual gun violence that could be curtailed by laws the NRA opposes. The problem is the First Amendment, not the Second! This gives more ammo to Althouse's argument that fiction should not be taught.

  53. montag24:28 AM

    Well, yeah, the problem, in Wayne LaPierre's addled little mind, is anything but guns. The problem is guns, but ol' Wayne wants guns taken off the table. They're not to be under discussion, under any circumstances. He's the Eva Braun of the arms industry. Better cyanide than face the truth.

  54. glennisw5:06 AM

    Cut-and-paste talking points do not a good troll make.

  55. bourbaki5:06 AM

    Phallophobia rears its ugly,,,uh...head once again. Careful someone might call the FBI on you for threatening genital violence.

  56. glennisw5:08 AM

    What would he even DO with a national registry of mentally ill? He certainly wouldn't use it for background checks to purchase guns, now would he?

  57. bourbaki5:14 AM

    Direct mailings...duh.

  58. DBake6:17 AM

    You don't even have to do research. It's just obviously false-- plenty of things besides a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun. A sneaky guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a gun. A martial arts expert with his bare hands or a trained Bengali Tiger-- those can all stop a bad guy with a gun. A really bad cold can stop a bad guy with a gun. A blast wall can stop a bad guy with a gun. A robot can stop a bad guy with a gun. A guy who isn't really good or bad, but subscribes to a code of honor that requires that he finish the job once he's accepted it, give him a gun and he can definitely stop a bad guy with a gun. The Hulk only gets more powerful when shot by bad guys with guns.

    LaPierre doesn't know anything.

  59. Haha!

    I am very much a supporter of the 2nd amendment. However, the folks who are screaming about the 2nd amendment right now appear to be a bunch of retired suburban dudes who like to picture themselves (in their fantasies) in the middle of "Red Dawn."

    I don't get it. Video game fans don't think they can race real cars or fly fighter planes. You mean to tell me Fox and World Net Daily rot the mind WORSE than video games?

  60. Raymond9:22 AM

    Merry Christmas from the 2nd Amendment

  61. Raymond9:22 AM

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    You're walking down a

    deserted street with your wife

    and two small children.

    Suddenly, an Islamic

    Terrorist with a huge knife

    comes around the corner,

    locks eyes with you,

    screams obscenities, praises

    Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...

    You are carrying a

    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family..

    What do you do?

    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think?

    What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have “Paint & Weed Day”;

    Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    This is all so confusing!


    Republican's Answer:


    Southerner's Answer:



    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)






    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'

    'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

  62. Raymond9:23 AM

    Ooh Rah!

    Retired Marine and former Pan Am/Delta Pilot John Lovell is Top Gun at Subway sandwich shop..!

    Plantation, Florida: Last week police were called to investigate an attempted armed robbery: The 71-year-old retired Marine who opened fire on two robbers at a Plantation, Florida, Subway shop late Wednesday, killing one and critically wounding the other, is described as John Lovell, a former helicopter pilot for two presidents. He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, and he works out every day. Mr.. Lovell was a man of action Wednesday night.

    According to Plantation police, two masked gunmen came into the Subway at 1949 N. Pine Rd. just after 11 p.m. There was a lone diner, Mr. Lovell, who was finishing his meal. After robbing the cashier, the two men attempted to shove Mr. Lovell into a bathroom and rob him as well. They got his money, but then Mr. Lovell pulled his handgun and opened fire. He shot one of the thieves in the head and chest and the other in the head.

    When police arrived, they found one of the men in the shop, K-9 Units found the other in the bushes of a nearby business. They also found cash strewn around the front of the sandwich shop according to Detective Robert Rettig of the Plantation Police Department..

    Both men were taken to the Broward General Medical Center, where one, Donicio Arrindell, 22, of North Lauderdale died. The other, 21-year-old Frederick Gadson of Fort Lauderdale is in critical but stable condition.

    Mr. Lovell was a pilot in the Marine Corps, flying former Presidents John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson. He later worked as a pilot for Pan Am and Delta Airlines.

    He is not expected to be charged authorities said. ''He was in fear for his life,'' Detective Rettig said, "These criminals ought to realize that most men in their 70's have military backgrounds and aren't intimidated by idiots."

    Something tells me this old Marine wasn't 'in fear for his life', even though his life was definitely at risk. The only thing he could be charged with is participating in an unfair fight. One 71- year young Marine against two punks. Two head shots and one center body mass shot.

    Outstanding shooting! That'll teach them not to get between a Marine and his meal.

    Florida law allows eligible citizens to carry a concealed weapon. Don't you just love a story with a happy ending?

    I just love a story with a "Happy ending" !!!

    If it weren't for the United States military,

    there'd be NO United States of America .

  63. Raymond9:24 AM


    The State is my shepherd, I shall not want.

    It makes me lie down in federally owned pastures.

    It leads me beside quiet waters in banned fishing areas.

    It restores my soul through its control.

    It guides me in the path of dependency for its namesake.

    Even though our nation plunges into the valley of the shadow
    of debt, I will fear no evil, For Barack will be with me.

    The Affordable Care Act and food stamps, They comfort me.

    You prepare a table of Michelle Obama approved foods before
    me in the presence of my Conservative and Libertarian enemies.

    You anoint my head with hemp oil;
    My government regulated 16-ounce cup overflows.
    Surely mediocrity and an entitlement mentality will follow me
    All the days of my life, And I will dwell in a low-rent HUD home
    forever and ever.''

  64. Raymond9:25 AM

    A friend of mine sent me this & I'd like to share it with you

    According to a news report, a certain private Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

    Every night the maintenance man would remove them; and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally, the principal, Sister Mary, decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian, who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, Sister Mary asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
    Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

    There are teachers...... And then there are educators!

  65. Raymond9:25 AM

    Father - Daughter Talk
    A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so
    many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal
    Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of
    higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words,
    redistribution of wealth.

    She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican,
    a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had
    participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that
    her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what
    he thought should be his.

    One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes
    on the rich and the need for more government programs. The
    self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the
    truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she
    was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she
    had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that
    she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying,
    which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew.
    She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many
    college friends because she spent all her time studying.

    Her father listened then asked, 'How is your friend Audrey doing?'
    She replied, 'Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy
    classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. But she is so
    very popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited
    to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for
    classes because she's too hung over.'
    Her father asked her, 'Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him
    to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend Audrey, who only
    has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that
    would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.

    The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired
    back, 'That's a crazy idea. How would that be fair? I've worked really
    hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work.
    Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I
    worked my tail off!'

    The father slowly smiled, winked, and said gently, 'Welcome to the
    Republican Party.'

  66. wileywitch9:32 AM

    Oh. That explains why blue states so consistently pay more into the federal coffers than they get back so that the red states which generally take more than they give the federal government don't need to resort to the cannibalism they're arming themselves for.

  67. wileywitch9:39 AM

    Yeah the mentally that floods the net whenever gun-nuts feel that their most bitchin' guns might be taken away is a damned good argument for some serious gun control. Look at this nut. He shows up out of nowhere and goes into a full-frontal assault of liberal character assassination while insinuating that he needs to those guns to shoot US.

    A semiautomatic gun with a thirty round magazine isn't a gun--- it's a weapon.

    Fuck these people. Take their semi-automatic weapons, clips that carry more than five bullets, put an end to all the loop-holes for gun shows and slap them on the ass for being such whiny anti-social bitches.

  68. edroso10:07 AM

    That's pretty funny. Remind me to share with you someday the one where a Democrat, a Republican, and a Southerner walk into a library.

  69. The vast majority of the mentally ill don't pose a threat to others

    Not to mention the extremely useful lumping of a great swath of humanity into a general "mentally ill" category--since only someone who is mentally ill feels a need to horde dozens of killing machines in their homes, his definition is a bit self-defeating, neh?

  70. Well, see, that's a plus-plus plan of action: It's a bug-fuck crazy employment plan for the asshole bullies who couldn't get past the police basic-intelligence tests while requiring millions of dollars be spent with the NRA's masters the billion-dollar war industry.

    What's not to like for a red-blooded member of the international arms dealer lobby?

  71. It was kinda retro--a throwback to the Bush press "conferences."

  72. tigrismus10:22 AM

    I think they want the guards to be paid, they just want the taxpayers to foot the bill... "I call on Congress today to act immediately to appropriate whatever is
    necessary to put armed police officers in every single school in this
    nation" including a nice new weapon and NRA dues for each, I'm sure!

  73. It's pretty apparent to anyone paying attention that the NRA doesn't give a shit about the 2nd Amendment, nor does the organization care about the health and welfare of human beings--they are a bought and paid for lobby group for the international arms industry. I don't know the numbers, but I wouldn't be surprised to find that Murika is a HUGE market, probably right up there with crazy dictators and countries perpetually in civil war (instigated by same arms dealers).

  74. What are Southerners?

  75. mortimer10:47 AM

    Bad right wing jokes from years ago freshly pasted. Who says time travel isn't possible?

  76. 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

    Where everyone is delusional and idiots blame their failings on everybody and everything but themselves.

  77. John D.10:56 AM

    So the only thing that can stop "a bad guy with a gun" is "a good guy with a gun?" Really?

    Follow the link and you'll see that "good guys with guns" can do plenty of horrific damage all by themselves. And these were professional cops who'd been trained to handle this kind of situation.

  78. Al Swearengen11:14 AM

    Oh please, cut-and-paste more horseshit. It makes you look so smart.

  79. More cleverer than you think, missie!

    The logic goes something like this (but I'm purely amateur, so I might not get the subtleties right): I am wingnut; liberals are assholes; people seem to like them assholes; I want to be liked; I will be asshole.

  80. Al Swearengen11:16 AM

    Only idiots buy over-hyped, overpriced Kimbers.

  81. Al Swearengen11:21 AM

    I've been working since I was in 3rd grade, take your welfare horseshit and shove it up your wrinkly ass, cranky grandpa.

  82. I might add, as cynical as I am, Americans are too good for that. We should be making our own decisions as to right and wrong and who we are as a people, without kowtowing to a self-interested profit-oriented business concern.

  83. Jesus: "That which you do to the least of my brothers, you do unto me."

    Redneck: "Hit 'em with the hollow points this time, maw! Hurry, before the police come!'

  84. wileywitch11:30 AM

    The best bet on the profile of a mass murderer in the USA is an angry white man or an angry adolescent male with high-powered guns and an insane number of bullets. Put a little extra on misogynist and racist and you could have a very sweet holiday season at the end of the year.

    Angry white misogynist, racist men with arsenals preparing for the invasion of the swarthy hordes they so fear or what-the-fuck-ever; and we'll all be damned if the NRA isn't making sure there are as many powerful weapons as possible--- on all sides--- with as many people as possible being armed for real and imagined threats with weapons that only make sense on a battlefield or on a SWAT team that has to deal with the angry misogynist, racist white men and boys who don't feel "safe" unless they can commit commando mass murder with as little effort as it takes to carry their light-weight semi-automatics and a few banana clips.

    Chickenshits. Cowards. Sniveling weak bastards.

  85. bulletsarepeopletoo11:32 AM

    This has to be one of the worst fanfic I've ever read and I've read hundreds. You should probably modify it next time you cut and paste it onto someone else's blog. Your liberal character just sounds like a whiny, jealous girl instead of the heroic, hardworking, deserving girl you want her to be. Your republican dad sounds like an idiot for suggesting, out of no where, that she gives some of her GPA to someone else; nevermind that it's not even a possible thing to do. Instead he should have just told his daughter that who cares if the popular, pretty girl has a lower GPA, he'll pull some strings to make sure his daughter gets a job with a great company bilking the spenthrift federal government.

  86. Does he think most journalists are black?

    It's antisemitism, Roy. "The white male is the Jew..."

    Or does he think his opponents have been mongrelized?

    Dammit, give us a spoiler warning! You've ruined The Hobbit for me.

  87. Doghouse Riley11:45 AM

    If you're wondering why our moderate Republican President is doing so well in the polls, look no further.

    I thought LaPierre's problem was interesting. He sure didn't have to go into hiding for five days to come up with that speech. Unlike the Republican primary, his money people and red-meat yahoos are on the same page; it's the moderates, the honest sportsmen who've gone along for the ride, the ones who now get to see pictures of gunned-down six-year-olds he needed to worry about. And instead he went full-metal Waco.

    It's as if, given a week to think things through, the GOP nominated Herman Cain.

  88. wileywitch11:49 AM

    Hey me too! Yard work and carrying shingles and buckets of nails to whatever roof my stepfather was working on that week. Got my first paying gig at 15 and have been working since.

  89. bulletsarepeopletoo11:51 AM

    Are these the kind of stories/humor that Liberty Island is looking for? If it is, they're never going to attract the rich subscribers. And, I just can't see Rmoney or the Kochs subsidizing these "literary works". Besides I think they're too wordy for the rednecks.

    Just an FYI
    Congress Officially Created the U.S. Military

    September 29, 1789., the military did not create the United States of America which you implied with the last line of your feel good story.

  90. i'm just glad someone's going to do something about this shocking new film natural born killers.

  91. so this is what an instapundit reader looks like, huh?

  92. Formerly_Nom_De_Plume12:20 PM

    One disarm the whoremongers of the Secret Service firs

    Any particular reason why you'd want the Secret Service disarmed, fuckface?

  93. M. Krebs12:43 PM

    Most boring troll ever.

  94. wileywitch12:58 PM

    However obvious it may be that the Founding Fathers created a government for the purposes of levying taxes in order to do some more perfect union forming which included having a system of federal laws and doing what was necessary to make the country adaptive to change, they seem to think it was some kind of practical joke which consisted of great men taking great pains to create a nation that could be easily destroyed by any pack of yahoos that "didn't like the direction we're going" and thought they were above paying anything that didn't directly benefit them.

  95. wileywitch1:09 PM

    Oh yeah. That guy.

  96. wileywitch2:11 PM

    If I were a "friend" I'd ask him if he knows that bile is what makes shit brown and recommend a better nym.

  97. John D.2:37 PM

    Since the troll is supplying so many fanfics, I thought I'd add one of my own:

    "A Patriot's Priorities" starring Rush Limbaugh!

    The title, in a red-white-and-blue font, is displayed over the image of an American flag waving in a gentle breeze.

    Scene: The Fat One and a masked goon carrying a machine gun are standing in front of an American flag draped across a podium.

    Goon: "We, the United Federation of Terrorists hereby issue the following proclamation: We shall blow up a school bus filled with nuns and orphans if this man (he points at Limbaugh) doesn't shit upon the American flag within the next 3 minutes."

    Fatso: "Pah! Never, Sir! The Tree of Liberty shall be watered with the blood of innocents a hundred times over before I'll defile the Flag with such perfidy! I defy you to the last, Sir, as any Patriot would!"

    Goon (consults a cell phone): "Well then, we shall blow up a hospital of veterans and retired soldiers if you do not do as we say within the next (consults watch) two minutes."

    Fatso: Hah! Never! Kill hundreds, thousands, millions if you must! Not one blob of filth shall stain Old Glory!"

    Goon: "Your time's running out."

    Fatso: "You think to intimidate ME? I am a true Patriot! Kill millions upon millions, torture them to death if need be! I have my priorities straight!"

    Goon (listens to cell phone again): "All right, then. If you do not comply within the remaining time, then we'll simply kill you."

    Fatso: "Yes, kill billions upon billions if necessary! That is an acceptable price to pay for...uh, wait a minute. What did you just say?"

    Goon: "The new target chosen, if you don't comply within the remaining time, is you...and only you."

    Fatty gapes stupidly for a beat of 2 to 3 seconds before yanking his trousers down and squatting over the flag.

    Fatso: "Wait! Look! I'm a-shittin'! I'm a-shittin'! See? SEE!?!?"

    Goon (consults watch): "Too bad, you ran out of time."

    Fatso: "No! Wait! Can't you see? I'm wiping my huge, enormous, fat sweaty ass on it!"

    Goon (aims gun): "Nice try."

    Fatso (crying hysterically, snot dripping on his face): No, I beg of you! Please allow me to suck your cock!"

    He is violently cut to ribbons by machine gun fire.

    "The End" is displayed over the same flag as the opening title, except the flag wavering in the breeze is now stained with fresh blood and is riddled with bullet holes!

  98. BG, ribbons in my hair2:44 PM

    Does he know that Nancy Lanza was aware of her son's mental instability and yet she taught him how to use her legally owned semi-automatic weapons? She paid the ultimate price for it.

  99. wileywitch3:23 PM


  100. Malignant Bouffant3:49 PM

    Nit-picking, I know, but shouldn't the flag be shit-stained as well?

  101. Raymond4:06 PM

    The United States of America passed away on November 6, 2012 with an almost silent whimper. She was 236 years old. The grand old lady died of neglect, stupidity, arrogance and pure abuse at the hands of both her leaders and its ignorant populace. She will be survived by the Socialist Democratic Republic of Obamerica or SDRO.
    Also killed in this same massive, catastrophic, progressive wreck were personal freedoms, American values, exceptionalism, The Constitution, economic growth, conservatism, fiscal sanity, American unity, free markets, life's sanctity, marriage between man and woman, Republicanism, free will, self-reliance and many more are so mutilated as to be unrecognizable any longer.

    Born: July 04, 1776
    Died: November 06, 2012

  102. Raymond4:07 PM

    I love Christmas lights! They remind me of.....
    "the people who voted for Obama......."

    They all hang together; half of them don't work,
    and the ones that do, aren't all that bright!

  103. Raymond4:09 PM

    What has America become????

    Has America become the land of special interest and home of the
    double standard? Let's see: If we lie to the Congress, it's a felony
    and if Congress lies to us it's just politics. If we dislike a black person,
    we're a racist and if a black dislikes whites, it's their 1st Amendment
    right. The government spends millions to rehabilitate criminals and
    they do almost nothing for the victims. In public schools you can teach
    that homosexuality and lesbianism is ok, but you better not use the
    word God in the process. You can murder a child in the mothers womb,
    but it's wrong to execute a mass murderer. We don't burn books in
    America, we now rewrite them. We got rid of the communist & socialist
    threat by renaming them progressives. If you protest against Obama's
    policies you're a terrorist, but if you burn an American flag or George
    Bush in effigy, it's your 1st Amendment right.

    You can have pornography on TV or the internet, but you better not
    put a nativity scene in a public park during Christmas. In America,
    criminals are now called sick people. The government takes money
    from those who work hard & gives it to those who are lazy. Parenting
    has been replaced with Ritalin & video games. The land of opportunity
    is now the land of hand outs.

    And how do we handle a major crisis today? The Government
    appoints a committee to determine who's at fault, then threatens
    them, passes a law, raises our taxes, then tells us the problem is
    solved so they can get back to their reelection campaign.

  104. Raymond4:09 PM

    That Obama sticker on your vehicle might as well say "I'm an idiot."

  105. Raymond4:09 PM

    A United States Marine was taking some college courses
    between assignments. He had completed 20 missions in Iraq
    and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who
    was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

    One day the Harvard professor shocked the class when he came in.
    He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then
    I want you to knock me off this platform... I'll give you exactly 15 min."
    The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes
    went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."

    It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got
    out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him;
    knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

    The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
    The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there
    looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to,
    noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked,
    "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

    The Marine calmly replied,
    "GOD was too busy today protecting America's
    soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid
    stuff and act like an idiot. So He sent me."

    The classroom erupted in cheers!

  106. Raymond4:10 PM

    Full of Hot Air
    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

    The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

    She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
    "I am," replied the man from Texas. "How did you know?"
    "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

    The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."
    "I am," replied the balloonist. "But how did you know?"

    "Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You've made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now, it's MY fault.

  107. Raymond4:11 PM

    How many members of the Obama administration does it take to change a light bulb?

    1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

    2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

    3. One to blame Bush for burning out the light bulb;

    4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;

    5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Kenya for the new light bulb;

    6. One to arrange a photograph of Obama, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;

    And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

  108. Raymond4:11 PM

    Obama's Psalm

    "Obama is my shepherd, I shall be in want. He leadeth me beside the still factories, He maketh me to lie down on park benches, He restoreth my doubts about the Democrat party, He guideth me onto the paths of unemployment for the party's sake. I do fear the evildoers, for thou talkst about them constantly. Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy deficit spending They do discomfort me. Thou anointeth me with never-ending debt, And my savings and assets shall soon be gone. Surely poverty and hard living shall follow me, And my jobless children shall dwell in my basement forever."

  109. Raymond4:12 PM

    Medical Miracles

    An Israeli doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks."

    A German doctor says "That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

    A Russian doctor says "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks."

    The Chicago doctor, not to be outdone, says "You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brain out of KENYA, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work."

  110. Raymond4:13 PM

    Artificial Intelligence

    A lady bought a new Lexus & it cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.

    "Madam," said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!"

    She drove out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said, "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" She was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.

    She was stopped at a traffic light enjoying "On The Road Again" when the light turned green and she pulled out. Suddenly an enormous sports utility vehicle coming from the street she was crossing sped toward her, obviously not paying attention to the light. She swerved and narrowly missed a collision.

    "Idiot!" she yelled and, from the radio, "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States."

  111. Raymond4:17 PM

    The question which has gripped our nation is whether Barack Obama is eligible to be President and Commander in Chief. Article II, Section 1, Clause 5 provides that: “No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.” The proper question under this clause is not whether Obama is a “Citizen of the United States.” Rather, the correct question is whether Obama is a “natural born Citizen” thereunder.
    “It cannot be presumed that any clause in the constitution is intended to be without effect, and therefore such construction is inadmissible unless the words require it….” Marbury v. Madison. 5 U.S. 137, 174 (1803). In other words, the “natural born Citizen” clause of Article II must be given independent effect from the “citizen of the United States” clause of Article II itself and of the Fourteenth Amendment. All Presidents must qualify as Article II “natural born Citizens,” not as Fourteenth Amendment “citizens of the United States.” The two clauses have different and distinct meanings or they would not have their own independent life in the Constitution. Article II says “natural born Citizen” and the Fourteenth Amendment says “citizen of the United States.” If being a “citizen of the United States” had the same exact effect as being a “natural born citizen,” then the “natural born Citizen” clause would have no effect. Such a construction is not admissible. If we were not to give special meaning to the words “natural born” and conclude that “natural born Citizen” and “citizen of the United States” mean the same thing, the words “natural born” in the “natural born Citizen” clause of Article II would be superfluous. Our Supreme Court has consistently expressed “a deep reluctance to interpret a statutory provision so as to render superfluous other provisions in the same enactment.” Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare v. Davenport, 495 U.S. 552, 110 S.Ct. 2126, 2133, 109 L.Ed.2d 588 (1990); International Union, United Automobile, Aerospace and Agricultural Implement Workers of America, Uaw v. Johnson Controls, Inc, 499 U.S. 187, 111 S.Ct. 1196, 1204, 113 L.Ed.2d 158 (1991) . Hence, we have to give special meaning to the words “natural born.”

  112. That's very interesting, Raymond. Say, do you happen to have any items from the Toronto police blotter you'd care to cut and paste?

  113. wileywitch5:06 PM

    Given her apparent mental instability I wouldn't put much stock in her assessment either way; but she surely contributed to every death, including her own, that followed in the wake of her son with her guns.

  114. vista5:28 PM

    I think the TSA will want in on this action. They'll install xray machines and armed guards who will fondle all the kids while checking for weapons, steal their lunch money, cellphones, and force them to bring their lunch in 3oz containers.

  115. Newsflash for Raymond: G.W. Bush left the White House a few years ago.

  116. wileywitch5:38 PM

    It appears to have "responded" but not really. OMG A SOLDIER! We liberal veterans and soldiers are always soooo impressed with wing-nuts who think the military is there to serve THEM. LOOK!!! HE'S IN UNIFORM!!! He must be an authority.

    Sure, on top of fulfilling it's requisite duties and technical wizardry, military service is a great way to keep a lot of people who can hardly function on their own--- especially the functionally illiterate (to fill grunt rolls) --- off the streets. I'll give it that.

    IOW, much of the military is in large part a welfare system and for many a stepping stone out of their dysfunctional families/local economies, and then for some of those, a stepping stone to a better life as a well-rounded adult who has lived and worked with American from all walks of life and maybe has lived in other parts of the world.

  117. Jimcima6:47 PM

    "The government takes money from those who work hard & gives it to those who are lazy."

    Hey Raymond, is that a picture of you from your government job? How's that teat I pay for working out for you?

  118. Geo X7:32 PM

    You know, for Big Tough Macho Men, you guys are awfully whiny.

  119. MikeJ7:44 PM

    A morally questionable girl with a blowgun. A person who is normally pretty good, but who cheated on the LSAT, with a sharpened spoon. The person who is actually the tyranny of evil, but is trying to be the shephard, Ringo, with a staff.

  120. Halloween_Jack8:05 PM

    A man was walking along the beach one day, when he realized that he was walking with the Lord. As he looked behind him, he could see their footprints, side by side, but was troubled to see that, at times, only his footprints were there. "Lord," asked the man, "where were you at those times?"

    The Lord replied, "Sorry about that, dude, had to downvote this troll over at alicublog, and the Wi-Fi out here is really shitty. You know how it is. Hey, could you go for some fried clams? I know this great place just up ahead."

  121. Halloween_Jack8:13 PM

    Good grief, I'm already getting too bored with you to bother down voting you. You don't have an original thought in your head.

  122. DBake8:25 PM

    So by punching someone the marine proved God exists?

    Or wait a minute... God is busy protecting the marines (which makes it sound like he's not exactly omnipotent), so that they can protect this guy's right to say stupid things. And then he sent a marine to violate that same right? Is the joke here that God's behavior is totally irrational and his authority comes entirely from brute force, in contrast to the professor who still has faith in reason? It's sort of a tragic joke on what ultimately has power in this world.

    Or maybe the joke is that the sort of asshole who goes around punching people in classrooms is the type who would give completely incoherent rationalizations for behaving like a violent fuckwad.

    Is that the joke?

  123. AGoodQuestion9:13 PM

    Well if your looking for abject incoherence in your trolls, Raymond is here to serve your needs.



  125. AGoodQuestion9:48 PM

    And yet self-parody lives to fight another day.

  126. AGoodQuestion9:55 PM

    Bet that's a real ROFLMAO over at

  127. The Dark Avenger11:07 PM

    That was so funny, I forgot to laugh.

  128. The Dark Avenger11:08 PM

    Liberty Island will pay you for your stuff, Raymond, or are you some sort of anarchist, giving away your precious screed for free?

  129. The Dark Avenger11:11 PM

    Damn parasite and taker, why don't you just go Galt and leave us alone, honey bunch?

    Bless your shriveled, Southern, intolerant heart.

  130. The Dark Avenger11:11 PM

    "Do you like gladiator movies, Raymond?"

  131. redoubt11:13 PM

    Last meal: Copypasta with garlic asshole sauce

  132. The Dark Avenger11:13 PM

    Hey, Raymond, I caught your mother and dad out in the open the other day.

  133. redoubt11:15 PM

    Freedom Isn't Free

  134. The Dark Avenger11:16 PM

    Republican: One who believes in Democracy, unless it results in a Kenyan/Socialist/Islamic Terrorist to the White House.

  135. I can't help but noting that the "southerner" and his family sound like creepy psychopaths. Is that intentional?

  136. RHWombat12:04 AM

    WTF? The mods let through the insentient crap posted by the trollmarine, then excises my initial response to Cole's post: That I do know the numbers, and it's NOT the "international" arms industry, it's the US arms industry. As for your point that there are not enough "crazy dictators and countries perpetually in civil war (instigated by same US arms dealers)" to get within 10% of the Murican market - the only country with a higher absolute gun homicide rate is Mexico, but on a per capita basis, you guys still win. I wonder where the Mexicans get their arms?

  137. AngryWarthogBreath12:21 AM

    An Irish Democrat, a Republican violinist, and a Southern rabbi walk into a bar, which has been built on the deserted island they have been stranded on. They each order different, telling drinks, and start discussing their wives. This is only a fragment of their rich, detailed lives. It can't be used to make sweeping generalisations about them. In the end, the Republican says, while his wife has many amusing foibles, he's glad for her existence every day; she continues to bring his life joy and he hopes he can do the same for her. The Democrat and rabbi applaud the sentiment, despite both being amusingly, flamboyantly gay.

    Then a regular patron comes in and shoots all three of them, and when the bartender returns fire, innocent bystanders are wounded in the crossfire!

    The punchline is that very few situations become better when you add guns. It's funny, but not ha-ha funny.

  138. "Lord," asked the man, "where were you at those times?"

    "Those were the times when we both hopped on one foot."

  139. "Lord," asked the man, "where were you at those times?"
    "Sandpeople always ride single file, to hide their numbers."

  140. i'm so fucking liberal, i take the bus.

  141. Another Kiwi3:31 AM

    That one where the marines hits the lecturer came around my workplace about 5 years ago. Surprisingly it hasn't improved with age. It does show the typical RW attitude to free speech which stops at the end of their nose.
    I wonder if Raymondo is part of a group or is doing it own its own? You would think that a group would have some attempt to make their bullshit a bit more palatable.

  142. brian_x4:08 AM

    More to the point, it's a meaningless argument. If someone packing heat stops a shooting, more often then not they're someone who's trained and licensed to carry and use deadly force -- a cop, a security guard, something like that. There's a big difference between that and some random schmo with a gun in his pocket.

  143. wileywitch6:26 AM

    Jesus driving a tractor, what an ugly world that is.

  144. Raymond7:36 AM

    Revelation 20

    1And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. 2And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years, 3And cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season. 4And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, and which had not worshipped the beast, neither his image, neither had received his mark upon their foreheads, or in their hands; and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years. 5But the rest of the dead lived not again until the thousand years were finished. This is the first resurrection. 6Blessed and holy is he that hath part in the first resurrection: on such the second death hath no power, but they shall be priests of God and of Christ, and shall reign with him a thousand years. 7And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison, 8And shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom is as the sand ofthe sea. 9And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city: and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them. 10And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

    11And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. 12And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. 13And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. 14And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. 15And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

  145. mrstilton8:45 AM

    Wrong, Raymond. Here are the vital statistics for your nation:

    Born: February 4, 1861
    Put down by Americans: April 9, 1865

    Even after 147 years, it still hurts, doesn't it? Here's the thing: it will never get better for you and people like you. Your head is just going to get that little bit asplodier every day.

    You should consider suicide. Try not to take any normal people out with you when you go.

  146. tigrismus9:51 AM

    Your guns ain't going to help you with this one, brah.

  147. John D.10:02 AM

    The details elude me, but some years back, either during the 2000 or 2004 election campaign (I forget which), there was a particularly stupid troll who was spamming the commentary sections of liberal blogs with lengthy posts that claimed to be quotes from the Democratic Presidential nominee. As I said, I forget exactly which election this was, but the would-be smear job would have obviously targeted either Gore or Kerry, neither of whom I have much fondness for (especially Kerry). But in any event: The quotes supplied by this particular asshole were actually real. And they were all genuinely idiotic, the products of a stupefyingly feeble brain. Most of them were pretty famous (or infamous, more like), and were quite well known. But they hadn't been uttered by whichever centrist conservative empty suit the Dems were nominating that year, and whom that jackass of a troll was attempting to shit on.

    No, they were all quotes from either Dan Quayle or George W. Bush.

    It struck me as truly remarkable that this pimplebrain of a troll was trying to dump all over the nominated Democrat that year by attributing quotes to him that were all very well known and were actually "witticisms" from two of the most notorious blockheads of the past 20 years from his own side of the political aisle. And further, that this cretin apparently thought he was being fiendishly clever by doing so. It was all just so fucking pathetic, you know? Arguing in bad faith is one thing, but when you get down to this level of empty, childish, easily-disprovable posturing, it really amounts to nothing more than white noise in the background. "Palatable" really has nothing to do with it, and neither does "plausible" or "rational." At this level, the simpletons are simply rolling around in pools of their own filth, screeching for attention.

    Much in the way this nitwit pretending to be a marine is doing.

  148. According to snopes, the story about the lipstick was from 1997 and there was no mention of a Catholic school; adding that must make it seem more sanctimonious or authoritarian (or something).

  149. Halloween_Jack10:35 AM

    That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane -

    Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -

    world serves its own needs, regardless of your own needs. Feed it up a knock,

    speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height,

    down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for

    hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies

    breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered

    crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population,

    common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its

    own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the

    reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright

    light, feeling pretty psyched.

    It's the end of the world as we know it.

    It's the end of the world as we know it.

    It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

    Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn,

    return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning,

    blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle,

    light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh,

    this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament,

    a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives

    and I decline.

    It's the end of the world as we know it.

    It's the end of the world as we know it.

    It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

    The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite.

    Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.

    Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,

    slam, but neck, right? Right.

    It's the end of the world as we know it.

    It's the end of the world as we know it.

    It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...fine...

    (It's time I had some time alone)

  150. Mr. Wonderful11:05 AM

    I know. Isn't life a funny thing? If only all, or any, of these observations were true, you'd really have a point.

  151. Raymond11:24 AM


    Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!

    Make a personal reflection about this.......

    Very interesting, read until the end......

    It is Written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7)

    'Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
    For whatsoever a man sow, that shall he also reap...
    Here are only some men and women who mocked God:

    John Lennon (Singer)
    Some years before, during his interview with
    An American Magazine, he said:
    Christianity will end, it will disappear.
    I do not have to argue about that...
    I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects
    were too simple, today we are more famous than Him" (1966).
    Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ,
    Was shot six times.

    Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil)
    During The Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes
    From his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.
    Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President,
    Then he died.

    Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian
    Composer, singer and poet)
    During a show in Canecio (Rio de Janeiro),
    While smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some
    smoke into the air And said: "God, that's for you."
    He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.

    The man who built the Titanic.
    After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the
    Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can sink it"
    The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.

    Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
    She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
    He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
    After hearing what the Preacher had to say, She said:
    "I don't need your Jesus".
    A week later, She was found dead in her apartment.

    Bon Scott (Singer)
    The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
    "Don't stop me; I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell".
    On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been
    choked by his own vomit.

    Campinas (IN 2005)
    In Campinas , Brazil , a group of friends, drunk,
    Went to pick up a friend......

    The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness
    of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:

    "My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You."
    She responded: "Only If He (God) travels In the trunk, cause inside here..... It's already full."
    Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died,
    the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.
    The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the
    trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken.

    Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)
    said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book
    ever written. In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond
    recognition in her motor vehicle.

    Many more important people have forgotten that there is no
    other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.
    Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.

  152. bekabot11:32 AM

    "...does he think his opponents have been mongrelized?"

    He thinks his opponents have been mongrelized, and he's right. In the United States you have either a melting-pot ("mongrelized") culture or none, and Goldberg & Co. have none.

  153. KatWillow11:52 AM

    You know I was so pleased to see 150 comments... it was like finding a big bowl of Ruffles potato chips and (insert favorite dip here). Then I discover its due to a TROLL INFESTATION!!11!111 Sheesh. Those chips are stale and tasteless.

  154. wileywitch12:15 PM

    Incest is best by such logic.

  155. wileywitch12:18 PM

    It didn't take much to realize that there wasn't any need to read them, though. They're kind of like mud flap girls on the back of a semi. The message can be gotten w/o reflection.

  156. Another Kiwi1:40 PM

    With the NRA, I reckon it's bile stones all the way down

  157. So he didn't... read the whole thing?

  158. Leeds man3:06 PM

    I prefer Peter Gabriel's version.

  159. aimai4:17 PM

    Lets combine the best of all suggestions: unpaid armed guards with unpaid gun rushers. Maybe the trick is to enforce an Unarmed NRA battalion of gun rushers--the NRA gives us their list of local members and those members volunteer (cough cough) to stand around the schools and rush any shooters, barehanded, that stop by to shoot the children. Surely all those patriots would be more than willing to pay for their right to bear arms unimpeded by serving as human shields?

  160. aimai4:19 PM

    Rasputin. And Count Dracula. I rest my case.

  161. aimai4:20 PM

    I think this is what Instapundit's sex bot looks like. I think this is instapundit foreplay--it seems just that diseased and programattic.


  162. And then he shot her and her balloon with a semi-automatic hunting rifle dressed up to look like a military assault rifle, but it was OK, because he had purchased it legally.

  163. I can't wait for Peter Jackson's feature film adaptation!!!

  164. And such small portions (of wit & intelligence) !

  165. montag25:48 PM

    Well, now that Raymond has frittered away his First Amendment rights on the equivalent of empty calories, candy and fried pork rinds and lite beer, what was the subject at hand?

    Oh, yes, der Instapundit's intimation that liberal media Ivy league reporters don't like the NRA because they think it's mostly composed of crackers in overalls.

    This is, of course, a typical Glenn Reynolds bushwhacking in the making. Once someone takes the bait, the Instapundit springs, drags down his prey, and with his Glock in the face of the hapless rhetorical victim, announces triumphally, "I am the NRA, and I'm an erudite pundit with a state university sinecure!"

    Which leaves us with Raymond, who continues to lament that overalls are not generally available in camo print.

  166. Lancelot Link5:54 PM

    Nice that you included the bit in that copypasta about John Lennon, who was shot to death by a Born-Again Christian lunatic. That's certainly a convincing argument for Christianity and against gun control.

  167. Another Kiwi8:14 PM

    If you've got the curves, baby, I've got the race/class angles.

  168. mrstilton8:14 PM

    You go in that team,
    I go on this team.
    Divide everything,
    A flag or a number.
    Make 'em opposites
    So there's a reason,
    OK, now we can fight!

    Divide everything.
    Just put it all flat,
    OK, now you can fight!

    It is correct and reasonable.


  170. Ooh, a birther in the wild! Do tell, what's the problem with the natural birth?

  171. Hobbes839:21 PM

    As a former Marine, you disgust me. Your behavior is reprehensible and unbecoming of our Corps.

  172. Actually, badass mercenary assassins are far more likely to stop armed assailants than cops; unless, of course, we're talking about rogue cops who play by their own rules.

  173. Raymond10:39 PM

    I speak the truth & you don't like it.
    You're a real piece of trash...........

  174. Hobbes8310:40 PM

    You speak lies that aren't tethered to reality. It makes me think that you are a Paultard who hijacked a picture of a Marine to troll.

  175. DocAmazing10:59 PM

    Okay, then, enlighten us. What part of being born in Hawaii (after it had already attained statehood) keeps one from being a natural-born US citizen?

    Or are we talking about people who aren't white property-owners not being citizens under the "original definitions in the Constitution", as militia types who like to dress up their racism with a little flag-waving like to put forth?

    Do please fill us in, Marine.

  176. DocAmazing11:03 PM

    That's Hollywood; restraint and understatement never sold tickets.

  177. JennOfArk1:16 AM

    Whoremongers of the Secret Service

    That's the final chapter of the Indiana Jones saga.

  178. J Neo Marvin8:50 PM

    So death is something that only happens to non-Christians.

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